How to Know When It's Time to Quit a Job

[ethereality]

Hi friends,

How do you know when it's time to quit a job? I've been at my current place (a non-profit) for a year and a half.

Pros:

• Great healthcare plan/decent salary
• 20 days vacation
• I work from home 2 to 3 days a week, something I value highly given a 45 min subway commute
• Job is not hard to do now that I've adjusted my mindset
• Have great working relationships with a few of my colleagues
• Mission-driven, I do "good" in this job and when there isn't team drama, I am fulfilled

Cons:

• I've cried at work/broken down at work events a few times this year from stress, which I need to learn to manage, whether I stay or go
• I'm the only person on my team who works in a remote office; struggling to build trust + relationships with a few colleagues
• Colleagues on other team are starting to leave at a faster rate (some without another job offer in hand) due to toxic culture.
• Colleague spreading gossip; I'm unwilling to participate in their games
• Most initiatives are an internal battle; lots of interteam, interdepartmental politics
• Perfection is expected, under extreme scrutiny to not make mistakes.
• Unlikely to be promoted/title change for the next year. Budget is stagnant, so any growth would be small, if granted. Org has no formal promotion structure, so it's murky at best how this would happen.

I have a masters from a very well-known school, am generally confident I can get another job and ask for 10 - 15% more than I am paid now. But I just feel weirdly loyal to my current job and I would be the first person to ever quit on my team. And I feel spoiled and privileged for thinking to leave when technically things are okay right now (the worst of it is now a few months behind me).

How have you known when it's time to leave? Welcome all experiences and/or advice!

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

It's time for you to go. I think the first time you cry at work it's time. You don't need to learn to manage this stress. You need to learn to get yourself out of these stressful situation.

[mm1970]

How long have you been working total? 

If you are under 30, definitely go.  That's the way to get varied experience and money and promotions.  YOu should just PLAN to leave and make it happen.

If you are over 30 - at least start applying for jobs.   Job hunting and interviewing is how you know what else is out there.

[Metalcat]

Yeah, if you are crying at work and it isn't due to some exceptional but reasonable circumstance, then it's time to go and/or time to seek therapy.

Re: loyalty
I'm going to be really blunt here.
OMG grow up and get over it. Your company is only loyal to you as long as you are a profitable entity for them. If you can get paid more for the same work elsewhere, then you are literally working for free to a degree.

If you were exceptionally happy at your job, I would understand trading off increased income for the non-monetary benefit of enjoying your days, but you've already established that you are crying at work, so you're paying a premium to be sad and stressed???

WHY??!!!

I repeat. Grow up and get over it. Your loyalty is nonsense.

[Brother Esau]

I would at least start looking to see what jobs are available and send out some resumes. You might be pleasantly surprised at how you can improve your situation (ask me how i know).

[cangelosibrown]

Yeah, if you are crying at work and it isn't due to some exceptional but reasonable circumstance, then it's time to go and/or time to seek therapy.

Re: loyalty
I'm going to be really blunt here.
OMG grow up and get over it. Your company is only loyal to you as long as you are a profitable entity for them. If you can get paid more for the same work elsewhere, then you are literally working for free to a degree.

If you were exceptionally happy at your job, I would understand trading off increased income for the non-monetary benefit of enjoying your days, but you've already established that you are crying at work, so you're paying a premium to be sad and stressed???

WHY??!!!

I repeat. Grow up and get over it. Your loyalty is nonsense.

Read the OP and was going to write the exact thing (albeit much less harshly). Work, like relationships, exists by mutual consent. If one party decides it's not in their interest anymore for any reason then it's over. loyalty, past service, past anything are irrelevant. If it makes sense moving forward, stick with it. if not, don't.

No conception of how leaving a job could make you spoiled or privileged.

[ethereality]

How long have you been working total? 

If you are under 30, definitely go.  That's the way to get varied experience and money and promotions.  YOu should just PLAN to leave and make it happen.

I'm under 30, 7 years of experience. This is my first role at a company (formerly freelance and self-employed). That makes sense - people in the nonprofit world seem to stay at their roles for a long time, so it skewed my perspective.

Thanks @Malkynn - I think I needed to hear that. I've only ever quit to go to grad school, so this perspective really helps. The mission-driven language used at work, and all the talk about what a privilege it is to "get" to work here...but you're totally right.

I sent out an application today. Thanks for the push, everyone.

[OtherJen]

Yeah, if you're in a toxic workplace and it's causing that much stress, it's time to find something new before you burn out. Please take our words in this thread as a warning: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-do-you-recover-from-burnout-all-advice-and-compassion-appreciated/

[Rdy2Fire]

@ethereality I gotta agree with @Malkynn most companies these days don't care about employees but more important your CONs are HUGE IMO and outweigh any of your PROs outside of maybe working from home (which isn't uncommon these days).

Anyone who is crying at work, has a bad work environment as you describe and knows they can make more elsewhere would be stupid to stay.. So in continuing with the blunt responses; Don't Be Stupid :)

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

Employment is a transaction. You agree to sell a set amount of your time for a set amount of money. That's all it is. All the shit about loyalty and how lucky you are to work for them is so much bullshit. It's really just brainwashing. Find out how much loyalty etc counts when you leave. You'll never hear from a one of them again!

[Villanelle]

I think if you are even asking the question, it's time to start looking.  You may not find anything right away, or you may not take what you do find.   But it's time to at least start looking.

[2sk22]

There's a word for "ridiculous sense of obligation" in my native language (sadly lacking in English) which I would use to describe your situation :-)

Almost all employment is "at will" nowadays which means that they can get rid of you at any point so you don't need to feel obliged to stay on for a minute longer than necessary.

[Gone_Hiking]

I'm under 30, 7 years of experience. This is my first role at a company (formerly freelance and self-employed). That makes sense - people in the nonprofit world seem to stay at their roles for a long time, so it skewed my perspective.

@ethereality I work for a not-for-profit entity as well, and from my (I'm waaay over 30) perspective it looks that, while nonprofits tend to have a longer retention of employees due to sense of mission and satisfaction that comes with it, they are also prone to retaining toxic and incompetent personalities who would not qualify for job a corporate world.  As you mention in your post, your workplace culture is toxic and generates turnover, which underscores my point.   You've read the writing on the wall and I agree with many posters that it is time for you to search for greener pastures.  The only time I would consider to advise you to stay longer would be if you were learning a ton and you weren't crying from stress.  Alas, the time is for you to go elsewhere.  After sticking with it for 1.5 years you won't be considered a job-hopper.  Best of luck, I'm rooting for you.