I recently told my two kids (20 somethings) that they were amazing and I appreciated that they were living on their own when a third of their generation is living with parents. They actually both left for freshman year of college and never came back! Yes, I help out with things -- e.g., major car repair, dental work, security deposit. I think it's a lot harder out there than when I was coming up. I "lived" at home in the summers during my college years but I worked as a camp counselor so I wasn't actually there very much. I took whatever job I could after graduating, staying in my student apartment after my housemates left for that last summer and kept interviewing for "real" jobs until I got one. (Thank goodness my landlord was a pushover, I traded him all the furniture for 2 months free rent.) Like others say, in our family there was just an expectation you would become independent, with the understanding that the family would be there for you in an emergency. And oh, yes, the house rules. My first summer home after freshman year, I got in at 2 a.m. after hanging out with friends, and my Dad was standing there in his PJs growling, "You're grounded!" I said, "What do you mean? I'm going back to school in 2 days." We stared at each other and both just started laughing. Later, when I visited with my future spouse, we had to stay in separate rooms. Got my revenge, though. When my 72 year old widowed Dad came to visit with my future stepmother, I said, "OK, you two, separate rooms." "Damn," my Dad said, "I knew you were going to do that." He thought a little and then tried, "Um, that was your Mom's rule, not mine." "OMG, what BS -- and you just threw Mom under the bus and she's not here anymore to defend herself!" Yeah, I let them stay together . . .