My husband and I moved last June to a condo that was a historic reuse of an abandoned property in a midwestern university town. We are blocks off campus from the big public university and LOVE the life we are building here. We have found it easy to make friends in our new FIREd lives, are staying physically and mentally active, and we are trying new hobbies.
The move enabled us to move closer, but not too close, to family. It erased three hour trips each way to see family. Now everyone is within a half hour to an hour. That said, we have nice boundaries here. We go to different churches, run in different social circles, have autonomy, and can manage expectations. We don’t show up at the same events. We pick up the phone before visiting.
My SIL and BIL live an hour away and have decided to downsize to a condo. Yesterday she called my husband and told him that they had made a cash offer on a condo in an adjacent neighborhood in our town, but that it fell through. They weren’t going to tell us, but rather they wanted to “surprise us.” My immediate reaction was something like, “Really fucking really?!?!?” I love our family and spending time with them, but it’s kind of like the old adage, “I married you for better or for worse, but not for lunch.” We share some of the same interests but are different personalities. My husband and I are quieter and less likely to dominate in social situations. My SIL can talk forever. Also, most of our new friends are politically and religiously on the liberal end of the spectrum, my BIL and SIL are pretty conservative.
I realize they can technically do whatever they want, but I am irritated by this. My husband doesn’t feel as strongly as I do, but this morning offered to talk to her about not moving into our building or immediate neighborhood. Selfishly, I want to have our own friends and activities and feel free to be myself. I feel like we’ve earned it. What to do?