Author Topic: How to cook when you live with a slob?  (Read 5612 times)

Rimu05

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How to cook when you live with a slob?
« on: March 14, 2017, 10:18:07 AM »
Hi all,

So I eat out almost daily and I'm actually getting sick of it. I was trying to reign in this habit last year and started cooking at home when I lived with roommates) and also, this is one of my biggest expenses!

Now I live with a family member who has two kids and I do so because the rent is super cheap at $350 for a room. Family member is a complete slob. Honestly, it makes me wonder how people live this way. House is cluttered but I ignore all that but there is simply no way for me to cook. If I wanted to cook, I'd have to undertake the annoying task of cleaning the kitchen constantly and then cooking and then cleaning my dishes which is very tedious because family member is a slob. I mean we're talking leaving uncut onions, apple and orange peels in the sink. A boat load of dishes are left in the sink just for one meal and even the counter is just full of dishes and stuff that was removed from the fridge... Like at least put away the half an onion left.

On top of that the cluttered fridge, pantry, etc. I can barely fit the milk I buy in the fridge. Even my spices are in a little bag on the floor.
Honestly, I could suck it up and just clean but I even hate entering the kitchen like how can it be so messy?

I need options. Cause other than make porridge and bake sweet potatoes, and eat fruits, I want to cook.

swick

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2017, 10:34:15 AM »
I'd be picking up a mini-fridge, a hotplate (or induction burner) a toaster oven, crockpot (or whatever makes sense for what you like to cook) and just keep it in your room. I'd also look up some hacks people use for dorm room and other small space cooking and figuring out how you can adapt to your current living situation.

pbkmaine

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2017, 10:37:17 AM »
Or you can look at cleaning the kitchen as an additional rent payment, since yours is so cheap.

swick

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2017, 10:39:48 AM »
Or you can look at cleaning the kitchen as an additional rent payment, since yours is so cheap.

or negotiate the rent down a bit in exchange for cleaning?

Rimu05

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2017, 10:47:08 AM »
Or you can look at cleaning the kitchen as an additional rent payment, since yours is so cheap.

or negotiate the rent down a bit in exchange for cleaning?

Not sure this would work with family. I already clean the kitchen and living room during the weekend despite never really stepping foot there. Even that in itself is a process that is heavily annoying because of the clutter. However, I take it as my duty as a person living there.

The rent in itself is about $200 less than the average roommate rent here.

Honestly though, I've been contemplating just moving out because I feel like I spend that $200 on eating out anyway...

Also appreciate the advise to buy crockpot, etc and put it in my room, but even my room is cluttered with furniture. Heck, I can't even enter my own closet, as it's full of stuff. My saving grace is that I am a minimalist with very little stuff so I can pick out my clothes without entering the closet.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2017, 10:49:01 AM by Rimu05 »

ysette9

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2017, 10:49:27 AM »
If rent would only be $200 more a month then I vote for moving. You are correct that you could easily save that much by not eating out.

swick

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2017, 10:52:51 AM »
If rent would only be $200 more a month then I vote for moving. You are correct that you could easily save that much by not eating out.

+1 it sounds like there is more going on. If that 200.00 is costing you time, money eating out, the stress of living in clutter and strain on your family relations, it is time to start looking at other options.

researcher1

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2017, 11:09:52 AM »
The rent in itself is about $200 less than the average roommate rent here.

I would gladly pay an extra $200/mo to avoid living in the shithole pigsty that you are describing.

I wouldn't live there if it were free.

GizmoTX

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2017, 12:09:37 PM »
If rent would only be $200 more a month then I vote for moving. You are correct that you could easily save that much by not eating out.

+1 it sounds like there is more going on. If that 200.00 is costing you time, money eating out, the stress of living in clutter and strain on your family relations, it is time to start looking at other options.

+1. You are not really living there.

When you do find another place, get an Instant Pot. It functions as a pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, steamer, saute pan, egg cooker, & will keep food warm. Doesn't take much counter space & there's usually just the one pot to clean.

PlainsWalker

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2017, 12:22:31 PM »
I lived with some slobs while in college. I eventually wrote the kitchen off as a lost cause. I couldn't work two part time jobs, do college full time, and clean up after my roommates all at once. Something had to give. I setup a mini-kitchen in my bedroom and let the rest of the house descend into chaos. I pushed through graduation and moved out on my own. I appreciated living alone so much after that experience.

Zikoris

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2017, 01:49:03 PM »
What about doing it all once a week? You still have to clean the kitchen, but just once. Spend a few hours bulk cooking, portion everything out, and you're good to go.

I started doing bulk weekend cooking recently, and it's been great.

mm1970

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2017, 01:59:10 PM »
I lived with some slobs while in college. I eventually wrote the kitchen off as a lost cause. I couldn't work two part time jobs, do college full time, and clean up after my roommates all at once. Something had to give. I setup a mini-kitchen in my bedroom and let the rest of the house descend into chaos. I pushed through graduation and moved out on my own. I appreciated living alone so much after that experience.

Yeah, I feel you.  I lived with a few roommates one year - woman #1 would stay at her boyfriend's place.  But she liked to cook.  So she'd come home once/ week, cook a meal for the two of them, and then leave her dishes and leave. 

Woman #2 cooked every day, and this super duper pissed her off.  So she'd tell me "you need to tell her to do her dishes!"  Um, why me?  I eat at the dining hall except for cereal and milk for breakfast.

Woman #1 figured that since she cleaned the bathroom really well to take baths, that she was good to go.

Woman #2 would also stack her dishes because she refused to do that other person's dishes.

I was the last one to move out that year.
OMG my mom and I - I don't even want to tell you what we found growing in the fridge.

And that was 2 single people.

I would not even consider "doing dishes/ cleaning kitchen" as rent payment for a parent and 2 kids.  I mean, ugh no way.  I know how awful the dishes are here (so. many. dishes.)

GizmoTX

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2017, 02:01:28 PM »
OP says there's no room in the refrigerator for any more food, & the bedroom has no room for a mini kitchen. IMO, this is not a bargain.

AlanStache

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2017, 02:01:59 PM »
Would heat-n-eat frozen meals be a mid way solution?  Over all you dont sound happy with your living situation and maybe moving is best but in the meantime TV dinners could be an alternative to restaurants and actual cooking.  All mini fridges I have seen have nearly useless freezers but there might be alternatives.

marielle

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2017, 02:03:55 PM »
I would pay so much more than an extra $200 to move out. From your description, that sounds insane. I can't stand nastiness like that, especially someone else's.

Can you move in with someone else on Craigslist or something? You'd be able to see the place beforehand and see how clean they keep it.

JLee

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2017, 02:18:01 PM »
I would move.

MsPeacock

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2017, 04:20:55 PM »
The rent in itself is about $200 less than the average roommate rent here.

I would gladly pay an extra $200/mo to avoid living in the shithole pigsty that you are describing.

I wouldn't live there if it were free.

This!  I couldn't deal with that - and I agree that you are likely spending more than $200 a month on eating out. Also - bugs, and smells, and trash - YUCK!

HipGnosis

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2017, 04:58:41 PM »
There are many heat-n-eat foods that don't require refrigeration.  Dry and canned goods.  Bread and peanut butter.  Meat items like Hormel Completes.
Not real cooking, but way cheaper than eating out and no post or pre cleaning.
You can use tin foil and parchment paper as disposable cookware.  And you can eat right out of it with a paper plate holder (wicker or plastic).
Buy and use disposable flatware, bowls, etc.

galliver

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2017, 06:11:06 PM »
Or you can look at cleaning the kitchen as an additional rent payment, since yours is so cheap.

or negotiate the rent down a bit in exchange for cleaning?

Not sure this would work with family. I already clean the kitchen and living room during the weekend despite never really stepping foot there. Even that in itself is a process that is heavily annoying because of the clutter. However, I take it as my duty as a person living there.

The rent in itself is about $200 less than the average roommate rent here.

Honestly though, I've been contemplating just moving out because I feel like I spend that $200 on eating out anyway...

Also appreciate the advise to buy crockpot, etc and put it in my room, but even my room is cluttered with furniture. Heck, I can't even enter my own closet, as it's full of stuff. My saving grace is that I am a minimalist with very little stuff so I can pick out my clothes without entering the closet.

Obviously, moving out if you can sounds like it would solve more than just the cooking problem. However, if that's undesirable, I like Zikoris's idea. How much leverage do you have to negotiate moving the extra stuff out of your room? Do your hosts/landlords like having you live with them, or do they think they're doing you a favor?

RonMcCord

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2017, 07:53:12 PM »
Agree with everyone else. Get out.  Short term, what I've done is just avoided adding to the clutter as it just adds to the stress when your dishes get mixed in and lost in everyone else's.  Keep stuff in your room, cook meals with as few dishes and pans as possible and hand wash everything you use as soon as you use it.  Move their stuff out of the way and let them deal with it.  If they don't care about it, why should you?

JLee

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2017, 08:18:15 PM »
There are many heat-n-eat foods that don't require refrigeration.  Dry and canned goods.  Bread and peanut butter.  Meat items like Hormel Completes.
Not real cooking, but way cheaper than eating out and no post or pre cleaning.
You can use tin foil and parchment paper as disposable cookware.  And you can eat right out of it with a paper plate holder (wicker or plastic).
Buy and use disposable flatware, bowls, etc.

That sounds kinda miserable, though.  I think if I were in that situation I'd be looking for a dorm fridge to put in my room.

I do think moving is the best option.

MayDay

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2017, 06:55:46 AM »
If you can fit a dorm fridge in your room, I'd clean the kitchen on the weekend, then cook your food for the week and put it in your dorm fridge.

If you can't fit a dorm fridge, I'd move out.

lil_miss_frugal

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #22 on: March 15, 2017, 11:00:46 AM »
I'd just move. Yeah you'll end up paying more in rent but at least you'll be saving $$ from eating out and have peace of mind!

startbyservingothers

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2017, 03:18:34 PM »
I wonder if there are any ways you could help the situation?   Could you help throw out some things that are rotten to make room in the fridge?  I'm guessing the folks you live with aren't going to change enough for you to want to live there, but maybe you could give them a glimpse of how things could be.  Creativity is important in any cohabiting situation.  I would try hard at making a cooking situation feasible in your room or cooking bulk meals in the kitchen.  - Any sort of shelving or organization system you purchased/make for the room , you could either take with you and receive future benefit from,  or you could leave there and they could receive future benefit from.
 
I believe you'll decide to move out.  So here's my advice for finding a room-mate:

When searching for a roommate:   I would estimate you need to eliminate at least 10-20 people before finding a minimally acceptable person.  Cost, Pets, cleanliness.   -  Keep in mind everyone claims to be clean, and everyone claims that their pet, kids, etc. cause no trouble.  Questions like:  How many days is it okay to leave dishes in the sink?  and how often does your current house usually need vacuumed could be enlightening.

If you are half-way decent sizing people up,  I've found "Being the landlord" can be a lot more beneficial when it comes to room-mates.
-  You get to pick the people and set the price.  If a one bedroom costs $500 and a 2 bedroom $600 then you can rent a 2 bedroom and charge someone $400-$500 and have fairly reduced rent.  - Some people don't want (Or don't qualify) for a lease so will be willing to pay a little more than you might think.  ("Furnished" adds value if the room-mate is from out of town.) ***
-  Even if you decide to split everything 50/50, there's a huge benefit to choosing the place.  You can spend time deciding what is of value to you and what isn't. (Close to work?  Nice neighborhood?  Amenities?).  You can choose the least expensive place that meets your needs.
Note:  A 3 bedroom for price in many situations, but carries a much higher risk of having an empty room and/or drama.  A two bedroom is a fairly safe bet and logistically easy to fill in most locations.

*** Wild story:  We actually had college student from Russia rent a room.  (And was Emailing us from Russia!)  Needless to say we expected it to be a scam, but the person actually showed and rented a room for about a year.  -  I can only imagine what other people thought.  -  We were probably the only people to offer a room.  (We did not ask for a deposit or any funds prior to them coming.)

On the other end of the spectrum people often times have a room-mate move out and desperately need someone to take their place.    They are often flexible on price, but it might not be a long-term arrangement.  Paying up front can be a big value to the person you're renting from, but make sure they aren't about to get evicted.   
- Something more sustainable would be finding someone that is getting their place for a good price.    Rental properties often go cheaply to relatives.   Someone may have a similar respect for simplicity and have already found a place that is a good value.   Someone with a mortgage might price a room less than market rates.  (Their mortgage payment, doesn't account for all expenses.  You are just "Extra income" in a room that would otherwise be empty,  etc.)

At the end of the day:  "Price" strongly correlates with "value" most of the time.  There is some wiggle room with patience, but you tend to "get what you pay for."  That saying rings true in your circumstance.

kite

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2017, 05:52:29 PM »
Just clean up first.
Decide that you are not above it, dive in and do it.
There was a thread started by a poster hoping to make it as an organic, sustainable farmer without having to resort to menial jobs.  I think I literally replied, "suck it up, buttercup! No job is beneath you and your sociology degree."

I've lived with hoarders and slobs.  Yeah, they are leaving a mess there waiting on someone else to clean it up, but you are leaving the same mess.  I know you didn't create it, but it's there, like dog shit.  The dog isn't picking it up, so the human who notices and is bothered by it will need to get busy. 
« Last Edit: March 16, 2017, 06:15:20 AM by kite »

Goldielocks

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2017, 12:50:17 AM »
What about doing it all once a week? You still have to clean the kitchen, but just once. Spend a few hours bulk cooking, portion everything out, and you're good to go.

I started doing bulk weekend cooking recently, and it's been great.

This is where I would go with it.   Your situation reminds me of my residence room at university with a shared kitchen.   I started to just put the dirty dishes in a box, and put it on the porch (the dishes were stinky / moldy after a month).

I only really "cooked" once or twice a week, the rest was fast stuff like an egg in a pan, cereal, that did not require much space.   If you are cooking for one, one large meal a week will go into the freezer / fridge well for several meals.  Just start tossing the half eaten things from the fridge when you start cleaning before you cook.

Take on the role of keeping the sink clear (note above what to do with dishes - move them to a box on the porch), and in regularly tossing trash / picking up trash.  Clean kitchen once per week, like you already are doing.

Put up a sign stating fridge clean outs on Saturday mornings.

JLee

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2017, 08:34:50 AM »
Just clean up first.
Decide that you are not above it, dive in and do it.
There was a thread started by a poster hoping to make it as an organic, sustainable farmer without having to resort to menial jobs.  I think I literally replied, "suck it up, buttercup! No job is beneath you and your sociology degree."

I've lived with hoarders and slobs.  Yeah, they are leaving a mess there waiting on someone else to clean it up, but you are leaving the same mess.  I know you didn't create it, but it's there, like dog shit.  The dog isn't picking it up, so the human who notices and is bothered by it will need to get busy.

That's an irrelevant comparison.  There is no end goal that will be accomplished by the OP cleaning up after everyone else.

kite

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #27 on: March 16, 2017, 09:39:31 AM »
Just clean up first.
Decide that you are not above it, dive in and do it.
There was a thread started by a poster hoping to make it as an organic, sustainable farmer without having to resort to menial jobs.  I think I literally replied, "suck it up, buttercup! No job is beneath you and your sociology degree."

I've lived with hoarders and slobs.  Yeah, they are leaving a mess there waiting on someone else to clean it up, but you are leaving the same mess.  I know you didn't create it, but it's there, like dog shit.  The dog isn't picking it up, so the human who notices and is bothered by it will need to get busy.

That's an irrelevant comparison.  There is no end goal that will be accomplished by the OP cleaning up after everyone else.

Did we read the same posts? Because they are exactly the same.
"Why should I have to do menial labor?"

JLee

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #28 on: March 16, 2017, 09:52:03 AM »
Just clean up first.
Decide that you are not above it, dive in and do it.
There was a thread started by a poster hoping to make it as an organic, sustainable farmer without having to resort to menial jobs.  I think I literally replied, "suck it up, buttercup! No job is beneath you and your sociology degree."

I've lived with hoarders and slobs.  Yeah, they are leaving a mess there waiting on someone else to clean it up, but you are leaving the same mess.  I know you didn't create it, but it's there, like dog shit.  The dog isn't picking it up, so the human who notices and is bothered by it will need to get busy.

That's an irrelevant comparison.  There is no end goal that will be accomplished by the OP cleaning up after everyone else.

Did we read the same posts? Because they are exactly the same.
"Why should I have to do menial labor?"

In your example, making it as an organic sustainable farmer requires doing menial work to succeed.

You aren't required to clean up other peoples' shit all the time if you want to use a kitchen. Just move someplace else.

AlanStache

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #29 on: March 16, 2017, 09:57:42 AM »
Just clean up first.
Decide that you are not above it, dive in and do it.
There was a thread started by a poster hoping to make it as an organic, sustainable farmer without having to resort to menial jobs.  I think I literally replied, "suck it up, buttercup! No job is beneath you and your sociology degree."

I've lived with hoarders and slobs.  Yeah, they are leaving a mess there waiting on someone else to clean it up, but you are leaving the same mess.  I know you didn't create it, but it's there, like dog shit.  The dog isn't picking it up, so the human who notices and is bothered by it will need to get busy.

That's an irrelevant comparison.  There is no end goal that will be accomplished by the OP cleaning up after everyone else.

Did we read the same posts? Because they are exactly the same.
"Why should I have to do menial labor?"

Kite you are more than welcome to come over and clean my bathroom and mow my lawn.  Or are you to good for menial labor?

Establishing the habit of cleaning up after someone else will not get them to clean up after themselves. 

"I dont want to clean up after my relative and there kids before I cook myself dinner" is not the same as "Why should I have to do menial labor?"

kite

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #30 on: March 16, 2017, 01:00:51 PM »
^ and ^^

See OP, next to last line. 

Cleaning up other people's shit is something most of us have to do sometimes. 

JLee

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #31 on: March 16, 2017, 01:22:05 PM »
^ and ^^

See OP, next to last line. 

Cleaning up other people's shit is something most of us have to do sometimes.

ok, come clean my bathroom then.

galliver

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #32 on: March 16, 2017, 01:34:03 PM »
It's one thing to do menial labor and/or clean when it's part of accomplishing a goal that is important to you, e.g. starting an organic farm, or taking care of people you love. In any other situation, it's always a tradeoff: is the pay, or rent discount, or goodwill, etc. that will be recieved from your labor worth the labor you need to put in? And the answer to that will be pretty individual, but the general consensus of this thread is in this case, no. It's ok if you feel differently.

Not wanting to clean other people's sh*t when you aren't being adequately compensated or acknowledged/appreciated is not considering oneself above menial labor. It's having a basic degree of self-respect.

AlanStache

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #33 on: March 16, 2017, 02:06:45 PM »
^ and ^^

See OP, next to last line. 

Cleaning up other people's shit is something most of us have to do sometimes.

ok, come clean my bathroom then.

People who clean others shit in exchange for compensation often have specific job titles along the lines of "maid" or "house keeper", if OP does not want to clean up after some one it is 100% fair for them to explore other options. 

kite - when you come over will you bring your own cleaning supplies or do I have to provide them?

kite

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #34 on: March 16, 2017, 03:05:16 PM »
It's one thing to do menial labor and/or clean when it's part of accomplishing a goal that is important to you, e.g. starting an organic farm, or taking care of people you love. In any other situation, it's always a tradeoff: is the pay, or rent discount, or goodwill, etc. that will be recieved from your labor worth the labor you need to put in? And the answer to that will be pretty individual, but the general consensus of this thread is in this case, no. It's ok if you feel differently.

Not wanting to clean other people's sh*t when you aren't being adequately compensated or acknowledged/appreciated is not considering oneself above menial labor. It's having a basic degree of self-respect.

I'll reply to you and not the creepy misogynist posters who take issue with my views.
The OP acknowledges that just pitching in and cleaning up, while not the first choice, is an option.  I think it's the wisest choice.
Everyone should contribute towards the upkeep of a home and that includes a share of the chores.  These aren't strangers who are charging market rent to the OP.  They are family. I interpreted it to be a single parent. When you clean up after family, you'll wait forever to be adequately thanked.  As far as being compensated, the OP can view compensation for doing the dishes and cleaning up around the kitchen as the differential between $350/month and market rate for housing.  It takes less time to put the onion away than it did to write about it. 

AlanStache

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #35 on: March 16, 2017, 03:57:03 PM »
Quote
I'll reply to you and not the creepy misogynist posters who take issue with my views.

I apologize if you took my comments to be misogynist. 

But I will point out
  • My posts were gender neutral
  • I can only now make the assumption you are female; your user name and posts were ambiguous.

To the OP, my apologies too, I will not engage further with kite.

JLee

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #36 on: March 16, 2017, 04:59:30 PM »
It's one thing to do menial labor and/or clean when it's part of accomplishing a goal that is important to you, e.g. starting an organic farm, or taking care of people you love. In any other situation, it's always a tradeoff: is the pay, or rent discount, or goodwill, etc. that will be recieved from your labor worth the labor you need to put in? And the answer to that will be pretty individual, but the general consensus of this thread is in this case, no. It's ok if you feel differently.

Not wanting to clean other people's sh*t when you aren't being adequately compensated or acknowledged/appreciated is not considering oneself above menial labor. It's having a basic degree of self-respect.

I'll reply to you and not the creepy misogynist posters who take issue with my views.
The OP acknowledges that just pitching in and cleaning up, while not the first choice, is an option.  I think it's the wisest choice.
Everyone should contribute towards the upkeep of a home and that includes a share of the chores.  These aren't strangers who are charging market rent to the OP.  They are family. I interpreted it to be a single parent. When you clean up after family, you'll wait forever to be adequately thanked.  As far as being compensated, the OP can view compensation for doing the dishes and cleaning up around the kitchen as the differential between $350/month and market rate for housing.  It takes less time to put the onion away than it did to write about it.

As AlanStache noted, these posts are gender neutral -- pulling misogyny out of this is laughable at best, and against the forum rules at worst.  Gender is wholly irrelevant to this discussion, and it's mind-boggling how you managed to draw that conclusion.

Yes, the OP can view compensation for doing the dishes and cleaning up as the cost differential for proper housing.  I would not be a full-time live-in housekeeper for one person for $200/month, let alone three. That's a choice they will have to make.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2017, 05:02:06 PM by JLee »

Goldielocks

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #37 on: March 16, 2017, 05:04:41 PM »

Not wanting to clean other people's sh*t when you aren't being adequately compensated or acknowledged/appreciated is not considering oneself above menial labor. It's having a basic degree of self-respect.

Are you married?  Have Kids?
« Last Edit: March 16, 2017, 05:08:23 PM by Goldielocks »

galliver

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #38 on: March 16, 2017, 07:56:36 PM »

Not wanting to clean other people's sh*t when you aren't being adequately compensated or acknowledged/appreciated is not considering oneself above menial labor. It's having a basic degree of self-respect.

Are you married?  Have Kids?
Neither yet, but per the beginning of my post that would fall under "taking care of people you love".

I clean for my parents when I go back to visit, because since my mom went to work full-time, it's become clear everyone else has a "not my problem" field around certain tasks. So cleaning is a way to show love to her, taking a but of the lad off her shoulders. I've been living with my bf for 2.5 years now. I clean up for him pretty often; he'll do the same for me in different ways. But, if I chose not to, it's fine because he knows he isn't entitled to it and can very well fold his own socks or wash the dishes if they're bothering him. I get to choose when my effort is worth it.

With kids, it's a little different because one (likely) chose to have them, and definitely wants to raise them in a particular way/environment. So, again, it's contributing to a greater goal of raising the kids well.

galliver

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #39 on: March 16, 2017, 08:12:45 PM »



Everyone should contribute towards the upkeep of a home and that includes a share of the chores.  These aren't strangers who are charging market rent to the OP.  They are family. I interpreted it to be a single parent. When you clean up after family, you'll wait forever to be adequately thanked.  As far as being compensated, the OP can view compensation for doing the dishes and cleaning up around the kitchen as the differential between $350/month and market rate for housing.  It takes less time to put the onion away than it did to write about it.

Family can mean different levels of closeness and involvement. It varies by person/family, by the type of relationship (sibling vs first cousin vs fourth cousin twice removed), by the history involved. Whatever the situation of the landlord family member, it sounds like this arrangement is more like roommates.

Of course, we always have the option to decide/offer to do more than expected. I used to watch my roomie's dog for free (I was home anyway!) and I'd do her dishes with mine. But if she had been a total slob who never took care of these things, and when I'd contemplated moving out someone had told me to just suck it up, I'd have taken it poorly. She wasn't entitled to my labor; it was my choice to offer it.

---

Another idea for the OP... What if you offered to cook for a further discount on the rent? Then they wouldn't have as much reason/cause to trash the kitchen...? But that's only if you actually like cooking.

MarioMario

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #40 on: March 16, 2017, 08:16:19 PM »
Or you can look at cleaning the kitchen as an additional rent payment, since yours is so cheap.

or negotiate the rent down a bit in exchange for cleaning?

Not sure this would work with family. I already clean the kitchen and living room during the weekend despite never really stepping foot there. Even that in itself is a process that is heavily annoying because of the clutter. However, I take it as my duty as a person living there.

The rent in itself is about $200 less than the average roommate rent here.

Honestly though, I've been contemplating just moving out because I feel like I spend that $200 on eating out anyway...

Also appreciate the advise to buy crockpot, etc and put it in my room, but even my room is cluttered with furniture. Heck, I can't even enter my own closet, as it's full of stuff. My saving grace is that I am a minimalist with very little stuff so I can pick out my clothes without entering the closet.

MarioMario

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #41 on: March 16, 2017, 08:22:45 PM »
If rent would only be $200 more a month then I vote for moving. You are correct that you could easily save that much by not eating out.

Or you can look at cleaning the kitchen as an additional rent payment, since yours is so cheap.

FLBiker

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Re: How to cook when you live with a slob?
« Reply #42 on: March 17, 2017, 06:54:40 AM »
Another vote for move.  My mental health (which wouldn't be great living with slobs) is worth way more than $200 per month.

When I was in college, I lived with a bunch of slobs.  We had 8 or 10 single bedrooms (w/ their own bathrooms!) that shared a kitchen.  The kitchen was a disaster.  I was a poor student and this was in London, so eating out wasn't an option.  I cooked every day, but I did my dishes immediately afterwards and kept them in my room.  I did sometimes have to move dishes out of the sink or off the stove, but that wasn't so bad.  So if you need to stay in that place, I'd just shove stuff out of the way and keep your essentials in your room.