Author Topic: How to be social with non-mustachian friends  (Read 4765 times)

anks

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How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« on: April 09, 2015, 02:06:46 PM »
Hello all! I stumbled upon the MMM site about 6 months ago and it was life changing. I am 25 and living in the Minneapolis area. Since finding the blog, I have reigned in my expenses now that I have ‘seen the light’ and I am very happy and comfortable with my newly renovated personal financial plan looking forward.

One area that I have a hard time figuring out is how to socialize with my non-mustachian friends. I am a very social person, but whenever I spend time with my friends, it always leads to hanging out at a bar and spending wasting a bunch of money on overpriced drinks and bar food. I try to suggest simple things like bringing drinks to someone’s house, but everyone seems to default to going out and spending.

Does anyone have a similar issue? I’d love to hear some suggestions for how I can steer friends away from activities around spending! Thanks!

JLee

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2015, 02:15:18 PM »
I generally go out anyway and don't drink (or somebody insists on buying me something, hah). :)

garion

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2015, 02:17:14 PM »
We just invite friends over for dinner/drinks/board games or out to hike or camp. We value hospitality, so we don't obsess about whether things even out when we share food at our house with people. Normally, they'll bring something to eat or drinks, and it still save a ton of money over going out.

bgraycpa

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2015, 02:27:47 PM »
Buy at least one drink at the bar. They have a right to make money for providing a gathering place.

After said drink, replenish w/ your own stock from your flask. This has been the tried and true method for a long time hence the binocular flasks for football games.

humbleMouse

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2015, 02:31:47 PM »
I am also in my early twenties and living in minneapolis.  I think the problem here might stem more from living in minneapolis than anything else.  Minnesota spends the most per capita on alcohol in restaurants and in liquor stores in the country. 

Minneapolis logic is like this:  Damn, it's cold out.  Let's drink!  Damn, it's really hot out.  Let's drink! 

Unfortunately I have grown up and lived in Minneapolis all my life and it seems like our "culture" here is spending money on shitty food in uptown bars buying way overpriced drinks. 

With all of this said, I have become the master of cheap drinking.  First of all, you need to know your happy hours.  I don't know what part of Minneapolis you live in but all over there are $3 beer spots. 

Also, key in Minneapolis to socializing without being at crappy establishments is to have a residence close to the bars with a nice patio/balcony/backyard so that people who go out to the bars can hang out at your place instead.  With the dirt cheap rent in this city it shouldnt be that hard. 

Anyways, kind of rambling on.  I feel your pain though, this city is terrible for socializing outside of bars.  Especially with 70% of people working restaurant jobs everybody seems to be a lowkey alcoholic here...



Valhalla

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2015, 02:58:10 PM »
Drinking is generally not good for your health or your wallet.  I drink maybe once or twice per month.  With your circumstances I'd go to the bar, but drink juice or water, but it's really really hard to resist the pressure to drink.

I had a friend who moved to Minnesota and ended up gaining 10-20 lbs in the course of 1-2 years due to this bad habit.

I'd say reduce your social outings as much as possible.  Do something else, like maybe eating at Chipotle, or  Souplantation, every once in a while.

As you become more of a saver, the more you're going to find the differences intolerable. 

Gimesalot

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2015, 03:11:12 PM »
I too had this same issue.  I just started hanging out with different people.  So I hang out with my spending pants friends when they are going to free or cheap events (parades, free concerts, etc.).  I must admit that I always have to do the legwork to find the free events.  I have other friends that are always into free dance lessons, cheap dance nights, hanging out at home, picnics in the park, or sometimes we hang out at a cheap bar and nurse our drinks!

Syonyk

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2015, 03:15:01 PM »
Flasks and knowing your discount nights at various establishments.

Basically, find a local grad student and ask them when they drink where.  They're highly likely to know the cheapest places for any given night (which does not always mean bad - when I was in grad school 8 years ago, I viewed paying more than a dollar a pint as unacceptable - and that frequently included local microbrews).

Also, if you can find a place that makes an amazing Long Island, one of those should cover you for a night.  Two, if you're in serious grad student drinking form.

But the answer you're looking for also involves flasks.

Imustacheyouaquestion

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2015, 04:07:34 PM »
Invite people over to your house for structured activities like board game nights or dinner.  If that fails,  you could just say you're trying to save money and can't afford drinking at a bar.  Nobody needs to know the details of what "can't afford"  it means,  whether it's paying down loans,  saving up for something specific,  or just generally not having room in your  budget for bars.  Warning: not all of your friends are going to stay friends with you when you drop the bar habit

rubybeth

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2015, 04:41:59 PM »
You might need some new friends. :) Or invite people over, providing snacks and maybe one alcohol option, with BYOB being the norm. I'm not in Minneapolis, but have friends there and this is pretty much the norm for my social group. And the tip about finding happy hours is a good one; my sister lives near Minneapolis and knows all of the best times for her favorite hot spots. Then the ones who want to spend more money just get more bang for their buck! ;)

The_path_less_taken

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2015, 05:21:30 PM »
I may be projecting, but when I was 25 the object of going to bars for me was: that's where the dudes were. Even though I only wanted to objectify, test drive and 'use' those boytoys...I still wanted that eye candy available.

So...if I wanted to dance or hear a great band or whatever...that wasn't going to happen in some married couple's living room. (no offense, just the way it is)

I agree with the flask concept. I also used to have a drink before I left the house, and maybe have a flask in the car if it was parked close...if it was "too hot, too loud, too boring" in the bar there were plenty of times we'd all sit on the hood of my car sipping my flask.

Only been to MN once but I'm sure there are some sort of game nights or trivia nights or darts tournaments or whatever where the intent isn't to get blotto, it's to hang out with friends and have a good time. If not, find a coffee house with a chess board or backgammon or whatever.

Oh, almost forgot: depending on your drink choice, you truly can nurse a drink all night. Sometimes I'll get a Frangelico up with a water back. About a tablespoon of that poured into the water is a good drink. Refill with water, add another tablespoon...easy to get 4 drinks out of a big shot.


supomglol

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2015, 05:29:23 PM »
If the place has any kind of "unlimited" appetizer I usually order that & a water.  That way I do pay some money for taking up a seat but I have an unlimited amount of things to keep my mouth busy all night besides throwing back dollar bills. 

Other popular methods already touched on:
Flasking
Pre-Gaming
Watering-down

It's certainly an age thing too; As I've aged more people gravitate to being homebodies as kids enter the mix.  Home gatherings are ideal as booze and food is 1000% cheaper.  Much tougher to find a mate that way though :)

okits

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2015, 07:04:34 PM »
You'll need to take the initiative to find cool, inexpensive activities, or to host a potluck/BYOB.  Your friends will have fun once they show up, restaurants and bars are just an easy default.

Say "yes" sometimes to the spendy night out.  You can pre-drink and show up late or leave early to limit your spending. 

If you've gone Mustachian and your friends haven't, I think it's okay to meet them partway while you introduce them to healthier, frugal activities. (All this is assuming your hair isn't on fire.)

Merrie

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2015, 09:13:08 PM »
We have taken the lead in our groups of friends with the stay-in-and-cook route. Doubly so since we now have kids. You'll have to do the work of planning an alternate event, but once you've planned it, they may go along (unless they want to go out and perv on the hotties, like someone upthread suggested... most of our friends are married couples so that is not really an issue).

anks

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2015, 06:57:13 AM »
Thanks for all the suggestions! I like the flask idea, I didn't think of this. I am by no means a heavy drinker, but I have a very high tolerance (side-effect of college days + being 6'-1" and 210lbs). If I'm not careful I can easily blow through $30-40 a night just on drinks if I go out to the bars with friends. That's $80 a weekend!!

The pressure to buy drinks when you're out with friends is always present, and people seem think there is something wrong with you if you don't have a drink in your hand. The other thing that drives me crazy is when someone in the group buys a round for everyone. Don't get me wrong, it's very nice of them and I appreciate the gesture, but then all eyes eventually fall on me to get the next round, which if you're in a large group can cost you $50!!

I'm going to be more persistent on getting people over to my place. I live in the suburbs (cheap rent!) while all my friends live downtown (not so cheap rent). Getting everyone to leave their place for mine is much more difficult since there are more moving parts involved. Much easier for me to just meet them downtown. I think I'll just have to get more creative with my planning!

Syonyk

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #15 on: April 10, 2015, 10:10:28 AM »
Good luck. My experience has been that getting some people out of the "city" is tough.

My wife and I host regular game nights, though. Board games, usually, BYOB, bring sides, and we provide pizza (Papa Murphys, and she surfs coupons so we rarely pay more than $20 to feed everyone).

It's fun, social, and fairly cheap (though building a collection of fun board games can be a bit expensive at first).

mtn

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Re: How to be social with non-mustachian friends
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2015, 10:40:50 AM »
My methods, depending on the group--some can be combined:

Get a pitcher for the table, first thing. Usually $7 to $20, and then somebody will usually buy the next one, someone the next one, etc. Or if it is a small group, the one pitcher, or two, is enough for the night. 
Go to a brewery or bar that is BYOF--bring your own food. I'll bring in carryout from someplace cheap, or else food I made at home in a carryout container. More expensive, but better beer.   
Order a water with every drink order, then order a water when you're done with both before you get another drink. Aside from being cheaper, it also gets you less drunk but still buzzed, and MUCH less of a hangover even if you do drink all night. Hydration, yo. (I do not do this in places with disgusting bathrooms)   
Find out what the cheapest beer is, and just get that. PBR, Hamms, whatever, as long as it is cold.

I don't like the flask method. Frankly, that is slimy. I don't bring in a PB&J to a restaurant because their food is too expensive; I won't do that with drinks either.