Well, just prior to the original post yesterday I had sent an email asking for an update and explaining that I was upset with the lack of communication and progress. I ended it by asking her if the loan was going to go through or if I should start seeking a new lender.
Miraculously, she was able to get the payoff quote within a few hours and get the initial closing disclosure to us to sign. Unfortunately they fucked up the lender credits, shorting me by over $500 on what was in the initial disclosure, so I am waiting to see if they can fix that.
Thanks for all the replies. So it looks like lenders are extremely busy these days, some can do them super fast, and some are super slow.