Pick three things that matter to you, and don't skimp on them. Everything else becomes optional.
For example, I have a friend for whom the dress WAS the wedding. Even though she eloped (parents disapproved of the groom), she spent over $1000 for a dress -- and this was in the 1980s. I thought it was a stupid choice, but she wanted the dress more than anything else. Not my money. I don't think she even had pictures made. Incidentally, her parents were totally right about the groom: They only stayed married about two years. Turns out a rich girl who marries a paycheck-to-paycheck man her father's age is, well, setting herself up for trouble.
In contrast, I've known a few people for whom the music was everything. For quite a few people, it's the decorations and the food. I think a whole lot of people care about the photography.
But, seriously, putting aside the real important things -- marrying the right person, etc. -- pick three things that really matter to you on your wedding day, and make sure you get those things. You can't focus on EVERYTHING, but you probably can have those three things.
I totally agree with picking an off-time:
- A 10:00 am wedding followed by a breakfast, for example, will be less expensive than a Saturday night wedding. And if you feel it's necessary to serve alcohol (I don't), at a breakfast you can serve pitchers of Bilinis or Bloody Marys ... and when the pitchers are gone, they're gone.
- A Friday night wedding will be less expensive than a Saturday wedding.
- I once attended -- by surprise -- a super-simple wedding: We were at Sunday morning church service, and the pastor announced that a certain elderly couple (both long-time church members, both widowed) was going to be married at the end of the service. The two were sitting in the front row, dressed a little more nicely than for a typical Sunday. The service ended as usual, and as he dismissed us, the pastor said, "So-and-so's wedding will begin in 15 minutes. Anyone who'd like to stay is welcome."
- Consider a Christmas Eve wedding. The church will already be decorated -- probably with poinsettas, etc. One of my siblings married on a major holiday, and he swears it was a great choice: A good number of people didn't attend, but he and his wife ALWAYS are off work /can take a weekend trip for their anniversary.
You might come out cheapest of all (assuming you're going to have some celebration) by doing a ceremony whereever ... and then taking everyone to a restaurant afterward. Seriously. You don't need to decorate, though you could toss some appropriate-colored candies up and down the tables, and perhaps get some wedding-colored balloons for your chairs. You can go in ahead of time and arrange with the manager to have a private room ... and you can pick out perhaps 3-4 entrees from which the guests can choose (you don't have to offer them the whole menu). This could be done for less than $20/person, including tip and drinks.
A punch and cake reception is FINE, though they are somewhat out of favor these days, and they're typically only seen in a church wedding.
Though it's inexpensive, think twice about an outdoor location. Oh, they are LOVELY when the weather cooperates, but I worked briefly in the wedding business ... and when outdoors goes wrong, it goes way wrong. And if you choose outdoors, you will worry and worry and worry as the dates approaches about whether you're going to have a beautiful sunny day, or rain. Outdoors is setting yourself up for trouble, and you have zero control over it. IF you plan something outdoors, have a backup plan.
For what it's worth, I attended a wedding last summer that I thought was a VERY NICE mix of splurge-and-budget. The bride's father (my husband's cousin) paid, and he can definitely afford it. The bride's dress was nice but simple, and her six bridesmaids wore dresses that were nice ... but looked as if they might've been purchased at JC Penny's. They're definitely dresses that the girls could wear again (to a nice dinner, even to work with a jacket). The guys all wore suits, not tuxes. The dinner was served in an old barn location, and the meal and cake were simple. Alcohol was not served, and I heard no negative comments. The flowers came from Harris Teeter, and they were lovely. Music was played from a stereo that was probably provided by the best man. The couple drove away in the groom's car. Maybe 100 people attended.
You don't have to have alcohol.
You don't have to have dancing -- I'm not sure how many people consider dancing to be the height of fun anyway.
You don't have to have favors.