Author Topic: How should I plan on our living preferences changing?  (Read 428 times)

alexgodden

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How should I plan on our living preferences changing?
« on: April 21, 2017, 10:46:46 AM »
I know there are many relocation threads and many people asking questions about where to retire to, but my question is different (I'm a special snowflake!): I want to think about how my priorities will change when we are both retired and how do I factor that in?

We are married, aged 34 and 39, one 9m old baby and plan to have another. My husband is a SAHD and I expect to retire in 2 years/when baby #2 is 9m old (whichever is sooner). We have the usual basic mustachian requirements:
  • Able to live without driving everywhere
  • Good public schools
  • Access to outdoors spaces, hiking, parks, beaches, a river would be ideal
  • Liberal culture and politics (at least enough that we won't be shunned for being atheists, buying our kids condoms* and feeling a bit awkward around guns)

But there are key things I think might change once we retire, even though we feel they are essential now:
  • Good Weather - sunshine and lack of rain is so important when family and outside time is restricted, does it matter less when you have all that free time?
  • We're fine with a small house - but do you want more space when you are home all the time to avoid all being on top of each other? My husband is also keen on space for beer brewing and woodworking/gadget-building projects
  • We don't care about being close to family - We've never been very close to our families, but will that change when we want free babysitting/our kids love their grandparents?
  • We're city people - lack of need to drive is important, and we love the restaurants, theater, parks, culture etc of our city. I can't see that changing, but could we find it in the center of a small town?
  • Somewhere with a job market as a fall-back - will I really ever want to go back to work?

At the moment our preferences are pushing us toward a sunny, walkable, liberal city (Berkeley, Portland, Sydney, Barcelona, Boulder, Raleigh) but they are all way more expensive than some of the options that open up if our preferences are going to change.

So, please punch me in the face and tell me how I'm being a narrow-minded idiot.

*Later, obviously. They probably won't need them for a while.

Vindicated

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Re: How should I plan on our living preferences changing?
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2017, 11:22:48 AM »
I think you can really find areas that meet your expectations all over the country.  There is no way an internet stranger can answer that for you.

I'll throw out my usual advocacy for moving to Indianapolis!  You won't find a better COL for what you get.  #1 Place to Live (Carmel, although I live in Greenwood and love it), #1 Children's Museum, and much more.  Also, Indiana is regarded as a "red state" and always votes red, but Indianapolis is incredibly liberal and multi-cultural.
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Louisville

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Re: How should I plan on our living preferences changing?
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2017, 12:36:36 PM »
I think you can really find areas that meet your expectations all over the country.  There is no way an internet stranger can answer that for you.

I'll throw out my usual advocacy for moving to Indianapolis!  You won't find a better COL for what you get.  #1 Place to Live (Carmel, although I live in Greenwood and love it), #1 Children's Museum, and much more.  Also, Indiana is regarded as a "red state" and always votes red, but Indianapolis is incredibly liberal and multi-cultural.

Louisville's better. 

Vindicated

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Re: How should I plan on our living preferences changing?
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2017, 12:41:10 PM »
I think you can really find areas that meet your expectations all over the country.  There is no way an internet stranger can answer that for you.

I'll throw out my usual advocacy for moving to Indianapolis!  You won't find a better COL for what you get.  #1 Place to Live (Carmel, although I live in Greenwood and love it), #1 Children's Museum, and much more.  Also, Indiana is regarded as a "red state" and always votes red, but Indianapolis is incredibly liberal and multi-cultural.

Louisville's better.
Louisville will be better tomorrow night, from 9:30pm to 10:00pm.  Other than that, you're misinformed ;)

https://thunderoverlouisville.org/

Glad you made me think of this.  I didn't realize it was tomorrow!  I'll have to see if the wife wants to make the road trip to see it.
My MMM Journal: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/my-almost-perfect-life-experience/

"Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. - Dalai Lama

Cranky

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Re: How should I plan on our living preferences changing?
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2017, 03:32:01 PM »
Every single place is, frankly, what you make it. I think, if you are picking, you should pick based on climate, because cold is cold and warm is warm.

But do not underestimate the importance of family when you have kids. You say you aren't close, and I guess you should think more about that. Do you think your families would be close to your kids, or do you really want some distance?

The one thing that I regret is that we were not close to our families when my kids were growing up, and talking to my kids, they do regret that as well.

Beyond that - there are atheists and condoms and restaurants pretty much everywhere. You move someplace, and you pick your friends. You may have to work at that.

Also, if you have small children, you might as well live in a one room apartment, because the only time they don't want to be glommed on to you is when they are up to something.