Author Topic: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?  (Read 4119 times)

coffeelover

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How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« on: September 11, 2014, 10:39:59 AM »
Maybe I'm to nice, maybe I think about others to often but I'm always finding myself doing for others.
They rarely do back for me but that really isn't the point in all of this. I get great joy out of giving people things and knowing it is something they really need or want.

For example. I'm shopping the clearance food at Target today.
I needed diapers for my girls, well I found that Target has a huge selection of diapers on clearance. So I got diapers for my girls and then a diapers for my soon to be nephew.

My brother is expecting his first baby in January and I thought to myself, why not stock up and then do a huge gift bag of diapers to them. (I've done this previously with a really good friend of mine, she was very appreciative.)
I ended up buying 4 packs of size 1's and one huge box of size 2's.

Do I spend to much on others, should I return some or all of the diapers?

(these diapers came out of our monthly budget food money) Which is leaving us a bit dry, but we can get by I think.

I love doing this stuff though and I know my brother will be so happy I did this for him, and his girlfriend I'm trying to learn to like. (that's a whole other story)


angelagrace

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2014, 11:32:21 AM »
I truly believe what you give comes back to you. Often wealthy people are generous, and those who are too stingy with giving never seem to get out of being poor. We give a lot and not only do we feel good for giving, the one who receives feels good, and the relationship is happier, and I believe it comes back to us--we get random stuff given to is a lot 😊. The Bible says to be a cheerful giver, so I think if you are giving out of obligation, you won't have the same outcome as if you are giving because you truly want to.

Anyway, I don't think being mustachian means you should stop giving. Also you can give time, etc, not just physical goods.

Wouldn't the world be a lovely place if everyone gave? In India and many eastern cultures, the old tradition is to seek out people to bring home for dinner or to take care of, because they believe you will be blessed by God for doing so.

Heart of Tin

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2014, 11:53:21 AM »
It sounds like giving is important to you in the same way that travel is important to many of the people on this board, and I think that generous giving can be a part of a Mustachian life. You should create a giving budget, though, to avoid scrimping on areas like food.

If you struggle to find the money for such a budget or if you find yourself outspending the budget consistently, then you may want to reevaluate whether your gift giving habit is healthy for you. It's easy to recognize compulsive spending on things like cars and clothes, but it's harder to self-diagnose compulsive gift spending since the rationalization that you're doing something selfless is so strong. If you can set and stick to reasonable limits on your gift giving, then there is nothing wrong with making that a part of your life.

Sister C

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2014, 12:00:27 PM »
I also believe that giving benefits the giver as much (often more) than the receiver. It sounds like this is your experience, coffeelover. As long as it fits within your budget, great!  Personally, I tend to give low-cost gifts (flowers from the garden in a re-purposed jar, things we already have/don't need but others would appreciate, a little bag of loose leaf tea, babysitting for friends with kids etc.) as well as the gift of time when volunteering.  (We have a hair-on-fire student debt situation, so those are the sort of gifts within our means right now).

MBot

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2014, 09:38:35 PM »
I truly believe what you give comes back to you. Often wealthy people are generous, and those who are too stingy with giving never seem to get out of being poor. We give a lot and not only do we feel good for giving, the one who receives feels good, and the relationship is happier, and I believe it comes back to us--we get random stuff given to is a lot 😊. The Bible says to be a cheerful giver, so I think if you are giving out of obligation, you won't have the same outcome as if you are giving because you truly want to.

Anyway, I don't think being mustachian means you should stop giving. Also you can give time, etc, not just physical goods.

Wouldn't the world be a lovely place if everyone gave? In India and many eastern cultures, the old tradition is to seek out people to bring home for dinner or to take care of, because they believe you will be blessed by God for doing so.

I agree.  I try to give generously and above and beyond. I'm not always successful. But I wouldn't trade the kind of person that giving makes me. I have no interest in cutting my giving to reach FI sooner. I would rather arrive better set into patterns of giving generously. 

sheepstache

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2014, 10:17:19 PM »
You're right to examine any expenditure, but I don't think gifts themselves are anti-mustachian, just the consumerist 'It's a holiday therefore I bought you some crap' habit.  Personally I'll skip holidays or give gifts at odd times, it all depends on whether I find something I think the receiver will actually like.

Elderwood17

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2014, 07:50:11 AM »
We are very non mustachian when it comes to giving and helping others.  It is a core value to us so we don't mind it.  But, we find it always comes back to us in kind.  Recently we were at the farmers market and bought a full bushel of several things.  We gave corn, potatoes and peppers to the neighbors all around us.  In turn people brought us breads, okra, grapes and access to a loaded apple tree.  That is not why we do it, but I find good deeds usually come back just fine.

I think the idea of it not being a consumerist type of gift is key, as the typical obligatory gift at a holiday doesn't necessarily remotely touch the heart.

thedayisbrave

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2014, 08:06:38 AM »
I hate consumerist holiday gift giving of useless crap.  For some reason since I'm a girl I get a lot of bath salts, scented body lotions, etc.  The thought is nice of course but I haven't taken a bath in years (showers all the way).  I'd much prefer to get (and give) items - randomly might I add - that are actually useful to the recipient.  I find I enjoy it a lot more when I get to 'surprise' someone (not that it's about my enjoyment at all, but it makes it more fun).  For example, my boss is recently divorced and I know he has horrible eating habits and hardly cooks for himself - so I make him a lasagna now and then.  One of my younger cousins is about to start high school and I had some extra money so I contributed to her 529, and then did so again for one of my good friends who just had a baby and sometimes struggles financially (through no fault of his own).  He hadn't opened up a college fund for the baby yet so it was cool to get him thinking about that too.  Stuff like that.  I don't necessarily give to charity as much but this is the stuff that I really like doing.  I feel like it falls within the realm of Mustachianism - isn't it all about being utilitarian, enjoying life, building relationships etc.? Sure maybe I'm not cheap with 'gifts' but I didn't think Mustachianism and cheap were synonyms anyway.

coffeelover, I think it's awesome that you did that.  Sounds like something I would do.  I'm sure your brother will be super appreciative. :)

Jellyfish

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2014, 08:12:46 AM »
It sounds like giving is important to you in the same way that travel is important to many of the people on this board, and I think that generous giving can be a part of a Mustachian life. You should create a giving budget, though, to avoid scrimping on areas like food.

If you struggle to find the money for such a budget or if you find yourself outspending the budget consistently, then you may want to reevaluate whether your gift giving habit is healthy for you. It's easy to recognize compulsive spending on things like cars and clothes, but it's harder to self-diagnose compulsive gift spending since the rationalization that you're doing something selfless is so strong. If you can set and stick to reasonable limits on your gift giving, then there is nothing wrong with making that a part of your life.

+1  If gift giving is important to you then create a budget for it, and stick to that budget.  Gift giving should not come out of your own food budget, IMO.  But giving means more than with money. What about offering to babysit that soon to be nephew?  That may be of far greater value to your brother than diapers.   

Chranstronaut

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2014, 09:10:21 AM »
I think Mustachianism is about balancing priorities with money, so most heartfelt gift giving is Mustachian to me as long as you're not neglecting a higher priority.  I find random gift giving very loving because it reminds the receiver that you were thinking of them and took advantage of an opportunity that would benefit them instead of yourself.

To answer the title question: I don't shop much and rarely find purchasing opportunities that benefit others.  Instead, I try to give money to people to support their passions or highest needs.  Many of my friends work in the arts, and I like to set aside money to give them when they raise funds for new projects.  This is mustachian to me because I plan for a specific amount, I am not neglecting other priorities and it's given freely as opportunities present themselves.

MooseOutFront

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Re: How Mustachian are you with random gift giving?
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2014, 09:21:06 AM »
I detest the line in our budget, honestly.  It's a relatively large expense that I just can get wrangled.  There's certainly times when I'm fine with it and enjoy giving, but the constant dinging on average of $120 a month over the past 6 years is primarily obligatory crap.  Wife's friends birthday, wedding, baby shower, wife's co-worker's birthday, lunch for her boss's birthday, a piece of junk for her sister's birthday, our friends childrens' birthdays, etc, etc, etc.  It cuts me real deep shrek.

Our Christmas budget and charitable giving budget is different than the above.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 09:23:09 AM by MooseOutFront »