Author Topic: How much to pay for living at Home?  (Read 4687 times)

LukeS

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 15
How much to pay for living at Home?
« on: July 13, 2014, 03:49:12 PM »
I moved out from my folks for about 6 months to stay with a friend in an Apartment, which is when I started reading MrMoney and other financial blogs.  It was fun having more privacy and having guests over, but also much more expensive - currently back and trying to decide what would be a fair deal for me and my parents.

I work full-time making a decent wage and benefits, and attend night class.  I don't do much to help around the house, just do my laundry, rarely take out the garbage, occasionally change oil and filters on lawn equipment, get vet-care for their dog.

I stay in a bedroom that is about half used for their storage
I also have many of my things stored in their garage
I get cooked dinners, leftovers for lunch, snacks / junk-food things to throw in my lunch, fridge full of soda and milk and juice and beer, plenty of things I could could cook for breakfast.
Off-street parking
Parking in the yard for two trailers I have ( I intend to get rid of one or both )
Access to washer and dryer and detergent
Toiletries
Web connection
Use of lights,gas,water
Probably other things I am forgetting


When I was in the apartment my share of rent & utilities was 360/mo and I spent a ton on carry-out and delivery because I am not driven enough to cook very often.
Currently only give 20/wk for groceries which they were reluctant to accept, and I doubt that covers what I eat.  What is a more realistic $ amount to pay for my consumption, that would still keep me in a great position to invest?  Take-Home about 500/wk before 401k deduction


CommonCents

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2386
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2014, 04:08:28 PM »
Step one: how do they feel about you moving back in?

LukeS

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 15
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2014, 04:20:10 PM »
Said they were happy to have me move back in. 

rmendpara

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 602
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2014, 04:49:02 PM »
Looks like your parents want to help you push your early career ahead.

Am I correct in saying $20/week is insignificant to them?

If so, just keep giving that, and pay them back by furthering your career and becoming financially secure so that you can move out and move on in life. I think that would make mom/dad very happy to see their child be successful.

Put in extra hours at work, stay focused, and enjoy the great gift that you receive with the assistance by saving and investing heavily while you can.

I'm sure they won't mind, but I'm assuming you don't want to live at home for the long term.

southern granny

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 534
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2014, 08:14:07 PM »
If your parents need the money, then I think $100 a week for room, utilities, food, laundry, etc is a good deal.  If they don't need the money then put it away for the future when you move out.  But most important tell your parents frequently how much you appreciate them giving you the opportunity to save the majority of your pay check.  Bring home carryout a few nights a week to help out your Mom.
But I am in the age bracket where my friends children are your age.  I have to say that most of them who have grown children living with them, would rather that they were out on their own.  They love the children and are happy to help them out, but they would really love to have the house to themselves.  One of them actually gave their daughter a date (  I think November 1) that she has to leave the nest.  I would gladly let my daughter come back home if she fell on hard times, but at the same time I really prefer having the house to ourselves.

CommonCents

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2386
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2014, 09:52:01 AM »
Given their views, I think it's less about paying them money at this point (although you should definitely offer), but more about helping more around the house so you aren't a burden.  For example, rather than bring home takeout, learn to cook (a skill you'll need for life as evidenced by the huge money drain on takeout costs while in the apartment - your expenses otherwise weren't high) and cook dinner for them a few nights a week.  You can perhaps learn to cook from your parents, making it an enjoyable social activity at the same time.  Mow the lawn for them, try to fix the lights, take out the garbage, etc.

I would highly recommend setting a reasonable deadline, for both them and yourself for when you'd move out, because what they say, may not be all of their thoughts, per frugalconfederate's point.  (And, just be aware that many romantic partners would consider living at home a turnoff, given the less privacy (particularly for sexy time), awkwardness of feeling chaperoned like a kid, and worries about ability to stand on your own w/o parent support).  Read Millionaire Next Door before you make a decision, with an eye out for the discussion related to parents supporting kids.

That all said, I personally think your expenses in the apartment are low - you really just need to learn to cook -- and you gain more from learning to live on your own right now than saving by living with them.   I know other cultures vary though.

soccerluvof4

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4982
  • Location: Artic Midwest
  • Retired at 50
    • My Journal
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2014, 10:30:33 AM »
I would pay them 250$ a month whether they wanted it or not and do as much as you can to chip in around the house. I agree they might not be saying truthfully what they mean out of being loving parents so make there life as easy as possible by cooking meals, keeping the house clean, whatever you can do to make there lives easier without asking. They will then truly enjoy having you around even more and you wont have to feel any guilt. They will let you know if your intruding or not but doubtful if you chip in and get out of the way.

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4351
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2014, 12:45:08 PM »
I suspect that they would like help around the house more than money--seems like paying them much would defeat the point of you moving back home! I hope that you are doing every single dish, every night! Learn to look around and see what needs to be done--trash to go out, dishes that are dry and can be put away, etc. I used to be reluctant to do too much at my parents' house because it was "their" house and I would afraid they wouldn't like where I put things or whatever. Now I try to jump right in.

hybrid

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1669
  • Age: 52
  • Location: Richmond, Virginia
  • A hybrid of MMM and thoughtful consumer.
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2014, 01:57:54 PM »
Every family is different, but I'll share my perspective as one of those parents (kids are 26 and 18, 26 year old moved out years ago, 18 year old is home). We are happy to give our kids the opportunity to get ahead. What we don't want is a mooch. If you are sharing your parents home then you should be helping out in two ways. One, you should be contributing financially. Don't try to figure out what is "fair" based on what you are or are not doing, occupying, eating, etc. You are sharing a home with them, pay a fair rate knowing full well they are sacrificing some of their privacy on your behalf. I personally think 300-400 is a good number, especially since you have a job.

Next, do your fair share of the housework. This is a sore spot in our family, our 18 year old lives like a slob and is pretty oblivious to housework and we don't have the time or energy to tell him what to do while he is in that awkward grown-up-yet-far-from-fully-mature stage. We are starting to charge him rent now that he has a job and no immediate college plans and I have told him that the rent will be based partly on how much he helps around the house. If I have to clean up after him, he can damn sure pay me for the effort, because my time is just as valuable as his. Don't be like my son that way, it will generate resentment. Get in front of this and vacuum the house, do the dishes, etc.

TrulyStashin

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1030
  • Location: Mid-Sized Southern City
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2014, 02:11:30 PM »
Every family is different, but I'll share my perspective as one of those parents (kids are 26 and 18, 26 year old moved out years ago, 18 year old is home). We are happy to give our kids the opportunity to get ahead. What we don't want is a mooch. If you are sharing your parents home then you should be helping out in two ways. One, you should be contributing financially. Don't try to figure out what is "fair" based on what you are or are not doing, occupying, eating, etc. You are sharing a home with them, pay a fair rate knowing full well they are sacrificing some of their privacy on your behalf. I personally think 300-400 is a good number, especially since you have a job.

Next, do your fair share of the housework. This is a sore spot in our family, our 18 year old lives like a slob and is pretty oblivious to housework and we don't have the time or energy to tell him what to do while he is in that awkward grown-up-yet-far-from-fully-mature stage. We are starting to charge him rent now that he has a job and no immediate college plans and I have told him that the rent will be based partly on how much he helps around the house. If I have to clean up after him, he can damn sure pay me for the effort, because my time is just as valuable as his. Don't be like my son that way, it will generate resentment. Get in front of this and vacuum the house, do the dishes, etc.

+1

My daughter (23) moved in last November and moved out in June.  I made her move out because she refused to contribute any rent and when I asked her to help around the house she said "Why should I clean up after other people?"   Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up after HER.    Damn straight, she had to move out.  Had she paid the $200/ mo she had agreed to before moving in and had she been helpful, I'd be perfectly happy for her to have stayed longer.

Step outside your own head and pretend to watch yourself from a distance.  Would you want to be your own roommate?  If the answer is "no" then revise habits accordingly.

Also, learn to cook right now.  You benefit by learning a skill and you can contribute by cooking for your parents on a regular basis.  Win-win.

kyanamerinas

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 161
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2014, 02:14:20 PM »
when i left for college, my parents calculated it cost around $75/week to support me at home. They gave me this money to help whilst I was at college (I didn't want it or ask for it and tried to reject it). When I moved back for a few months this is what they agreed I would pay as rent/board. I was also expected to chip in house-wise, usually a few meals a week and anything else I could do to help my mum (in particular).
Be an adult about it. So help where you can, do as much as possible for yourself (without trying to run a separate household within your parents) and keep your parents (respectfully) in the loop re: when you'll be in/out, expecting meals, inviting friends over etc.

Numbers Man

  • Guest
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2014, 02:29:27 PM »
Just be respectful to your parents and help out around the house. Your parents are trying to give you a good head start. Reward them by building an awesome nest egg and not buy useless crap.

RapmasterD

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 589
  • Location: SF Peninsula
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2014, 05:23:39 PM »
I think you could give your parents $300/mo.

AND...help out a LOT more around the house.

AND save a crap load.

You are very fortunate. The food bennies that you mention, alone, make me want to move in with your parents. But a 52 year old married guy? Well, my wife wouldn't understand it, that's for sure.

kite

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 589
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2014, 03:57:25 AM »
I paid $60/week in 1988 for a shared bedroom.   My MIL charged my husband $25/week, also for a shared bedroom but wanted to raise it when she found out what I was paying.   My parents didn't coddle.  If anything,  they believed in helping their grown children get out the door. 

wtjbatman

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1313
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Missouri
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2014, 07:50:19 AM »
People are suggesting he pay them anywhere from $200 to $400 a month... did you not read where he said that they reluctantly accepted $20 a week for food? If they really aren't concerned about the money part of things, he shouldn't (for his sake or theirs) force the issue and keep trying to shove money at them. I don't know the OP's parents, but they sound like the type who maybe doesn't need the money, and would rather help him out to get his life started.

That said, I'm sure they would appreciate it if you contribute in other ways. I like the taking up chores idea. Either ask about what needs to be done around the house/yard, or just do it. I'm sure having an extra hand around to help with the "little things" would be nice, especially if they are in the position where their time is more important to them than you handing over a couple hundred dollars a month.

frugalnacho

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3329
  • Age: 36
  • Location: Madison Heights, Michigan
Re: How much to pay for living at Home?
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2014, 07:59:34 AM »
Show them this blog and tell them you want to sock away like 80% of your pay.  Pay them a nominal amount they will accept, and save like crazy.  I'm sure they would be cool with it as long as you aren't wasting money on drugs, or wasting your life away, or being a mooch.  After I graduated and got a decent job I paid my dad $150/mo for "rent" and saved up to buy a house.  I was also living in the non climate controlled garage so I wasn't as much of a house hold burden, but I could easily afford $150, it helped alleviate $150 in bills my dad would have anyway, and it allowed me to save up a down payment for a house.