Author Topic: How do you say "I don't want to spend money on that" w/o "I cant afford that?"  (Read 12708 times)

Britan

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Say a non-mustachian friend or family member asks you to spend money on something with them that you don't want to spend. Maybe it's dinner out for another mutual friends' birthday at their favorite, spendy restaurant. Maybe it's a concert for that band you both REALLY like and on a weekend they *know* you are available. And maybe you even *have the money for it, and maybe they even *know* you have the money for it.

I'm interested in how other folks handle these situations: How do *you* tell people you care about "I don't want to spend money on that" without saying "I can't afford that?", but also without offending them? How well does it work for you?

matchewed

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By saying "I don't want to spend my money on that."

By offering alternatives.

Jeremy E.

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Say a non-mustachian friend or family member asks you to spend money on something with them that you don't want to spend. Maybe it's dinner out for another mutual friends' birthday at their favorite, spendy restaurant. Maybe it's a concert for that band you both REALLY like and on a weekend they *know* you are available. And maybe you even *have the money for it, and maybe they even *know* you have the money for it.

I'm interested in how other folks handle these situations: How do *you* tell people you care about "I don't want to spend money on that" without saying "I can't afford that?", but also without offending them? How well does it work for you?

I'm not sure how to say no to a concert at a band that I REALLY like, unless tickets are over $100. But if someone asks me to go to a spendy restaurant I just say no thanks, they ask why I just say it's too expensive. You can tell them you're saving up for a vacation if they ask why. If you're saving up for FI then you technically won't be lying because FI is basically one big long vacation that never ends :D

AZDude

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Suggest alternatives. You do not want to end the friendship by being too cheap, but yeah, sometimes people suggest ridiculous things. This way, they know you want to do something, just not that expensive ridiculous thing.

ysette9

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Remember, you owe no one an explanation. They are inviting you, they are not summoning you. Stick to "thank you for the invite, but I can't make it" and then stop offering explanations. Your finances are not anyone else's business so you do not need to explain yourself.

Louisville

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Remember, you owe no one an explanation. They are inviting you, they are not summoning you. Stick to "thank you for the invite, but I can't make it" and then stop offering explanations. Your finances are not anyone else's business so you do not need to explain yourself.
Perfect.

sisto

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I think the best idea several others have already mentioned. Saving up for <insert your idea here>......
This used to be really tough for me too. Now I just say I'm saving for home renovation project or I just upped my retirement contribution and need to save up before I can do something like that. Let them know if you don't have cash for it, you won't do it.

DeltaBond

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I like sisto's idea... "I'm saving up for .... "

It really depends on the task at hand.  Ridiculous wedding, I'll flat out say that I am not willing to pay for a destination wedding trip, tuxedo rental, hotel costs, etc, not going to do it, ever.  Eating out all the time, I tend to just say "No thanks, but let me know next time, every now and then I'm actually free."  Joint vacations, I typically mention a schedule conflict or  not being able to take the time from work right then.

CheapskateWife

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" I/We am/are going to pass on the lovely invitation, but hope you have a fantastic time." 

Lather/rinse/repeat

FiguringItOut

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I am conveniently blaming everything on my recent divorce and poor finances due to such. 

If I do choose to do something with people that I know are spendy, I comment something about how I managed to squeeze some money out of my budget.  And I always use credit cards for my points/miles, but they think I carry credit card balance like all of them.

I've even complained how I can't use a certain credit card, while searching in my wallet for the right card to use for points.  They just all start commenting how they credit cards all overspend too, assuming that mine are.  I don't mind. 

Pigeon

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It depends on the situation.  If it was a restaurant, I'd suggest a cheaper alternative. If it was a concert, I'd say sorry, that's out of my price range for entertainment.  If it was a destination wedding, I'd say hell no.

MustachianKentuckian

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I usually say it isn't in my budget.

Doesn't mean I can't afford it, I just haven't planned to spend money on XYZ. 

Works with my kids!

Britan

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Hmm, some pretty good suggestions here.

I do like the budget one - I hadn't thought of that. I do that with my *time* already - e.g.: Oh, you want to hang out on Tuesday? I already had plans for my Tuesday, how about Wednesday instead? I imagine you could phrase it the same with money. Oh, you want to go to X restaurant on Tuesday? I already had plans for the money I'd spend on that. How about X instead?

Giving alternatives so far has worked the best for me, but I usually try to redirect based on quality, not cost. You want to take X to that fancy restaurant? But X *loves* homemade [tasty dessert]. Maybe X would like that better for their birthday! You want to hang out at a concert? I have mad tinnitus and won't be able to hear you at all, and you hate gatherings of large people and terrible venue alcohol. Let's listen marathon all their vinyls we already own between us at home and pay (implied: less) for better beer!

I definitely agree that you owe no one an explanation. Now if only, when I do that, I could get my friends to stop following up with a "but *whyyyyyyyyyy* it will be so much *fuuunnnnn* but *whhhhhhaiiyyyyyyyyy*". In exactly the tone you are imagining there. (:

I'm a red panda

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"I'm going to sit this one out"

"No, thanks"

"Um, not this time, but y'all have fun"

"I'm not really interested, thanks for the invitation"

"That seems really expensive for what it is." (I avoid this one, because it passes judgement on those who do it.)

If they KNOW you have the money for it, and press it that way say "I can afford it, but I'm not interested in spending my money on that."  You can even further say "If I spend money on everything I COULD afford, then I wouldn't have money for the things I want."

Often when I call my Mom to complain about money (say a large medical bill or something)- she'll say "I can help you out if you need it." Then I say, "I can afford it; I just don't want to!"  That's a good way to get out of people offering to "spot you this one"; which isn't quite the same as Mom offering medical help, but it happens with concerts and such too. 
« Last Edit: July 24, 2015, 01:48:16 PM by iowajes »

Britan

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"If I spend money on everything I COULD afford, then I wouldn't have money for the things I want."

"I can afford it; I just don't want to!"  That's a good way to get out of people offering to "spot you this one".

I must tattoo these to the insides of my eyelids - I think both would work with certain people I know.

Then again, I don't know that eyelid tattoos are how I want to be spending my money... :)


mskyle

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"That's more than I want to spend this weekend/tonight/today" (or "that's more than I want to spend on dinner/on a show/on coffee"). And also make sure you're inviting these friends to things that you do think are worth the time/money/effort if you want to preserve the friendship.

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I don't feel the need to give excuses. When someone says, hey lets go out to (restaurant name) I invite them over for dinner instead usually. Instead of going to a bar we have friends over for beers/drinks/ bbq etc. If it's happy hour, we are using a groupon, or its a fairly priced place that we all really enjoy etc I say yes if I truly want to go. I never feel bad saying no, for financial reasons or otherwise.

thedayisbrave

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I expressed interest in going to a concert with a friend, but she looked up tickets and they were going to be $50 where she wanted to sit... so I said "Sorry, but that's more than I was hoping to spend.. I'm sure you'll have fun though!" And it was fine. 

yandz

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I think the best idea several others have already mentioned. Saving up for <insert your idea here>......
This used to be really tough for me too. Now I just say I'm saving for home renovation project or I just upped my retirement contribution and need to save up before I can do something like that. Let them know if you don't have cash for it, you won't do it.

This, but I don't feel the need to say what I am saving for - especially because it isn't something tangible.  My best practice is something like: "We have some aggressive savings goals right now. You'll have to tell me how [expensive place] is! We should totally get together for [affordable activity]."

That way I positively state why I don't spend money, validate their priorities/spending values, give an alternative to spend time with them since I value that person.

oldladystache

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My line is "I hate to spend money." None of my friends have ever had a problem with that.

CanuckExpat

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Remember, you owe no one an explanation. They are inviting you, they are not summoning you. Stick to "thank you for the invite, but I can't make it" and then stop offering explanations. Your finances are not anyone else's business so you do not need to explain yourself.

" I/We am/are going to pass on the lovely invitation, but hope you have a fantastic time." 

Lather/rinse/repeat

I definitely agree that you owe no one an explanation. Now if only, when I do that, I could get my friends to stop following up with a "but *whyyyyyyyyyy* it will be so much *fuuunnnnn* but *whhhhhhaiiyyyyyyyyy*". In exactly the tone you are imagining there. (:

The "just say no responses" are on the money. It is something I struggle with too, because the response is simple, but we sabotage our selves by wanting to add more.

This is also the standard advice offered by "etiquette experts", Miss Manner makes for fun reading and offers the same advice:

Quote
The ability to say no politely is an essential social skill. All that is really needed is the ability to repeat No, thank you, interspersed with such small politenesses as Im so sorry and Youre kind to ask and I wish you luck.

Elaborating is what gets people into trouble. Excuses that are false are traps one sets for oneself, but even true excuses encourage the audacious to argue: Cant you do that another night? One little piece of cake isnt going to kill you. But this helps more people.

Yet most people cant help blabbing on to soften  the no, which is apt to be so softened as to give way. So here is a small sample of supplementary sentences:

Im afraid Im not taking on anything else right now.

Sorry, I never discuss my finances.

Im sure its wonderful, but Im not going to have any.

We never go to balls, but wed love to see you privately.

Im so sorry, but thats not something I can help you with.

If you care to send me written material, Ill get in touch if I find it interests me.

I didnt realize what this involved, and I think Id better bow out.

Another excerpt addresses some of your concerns about their responses:

Quote
1. If somebody tries to pressure you into doing something you really dont want to do or have time to do, the less you engage them the better. Meaning, you should say "No, thank you," period; "Im very sorry, Im busy," period; "Thank you, but Id rather walk home," period. The key is not just to say "no," but to shut up afterwards. Miss Manners says that if you continue to engage the requester, more than likely, the conversation will result in an argument. In other words, you dont owe anyone an explanation (bosses, parents, professors excluded). Youre in charge of your own time.

2. If somebody is rude in their request for something (i.e., Shouldnt you dump that good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours?), do not return rudeness with rudeness. Instead, refuse to engage that person. Miss Manner suggests that you dont argue the issue, because you dont accept the basis for their opinion (its their problem, not yours). She recommends you say, "How nice of you to take an interest in my private affairs," period. And if you really do want advice on your relationship, ask someone who has your best interest at heart, not someone who wants to crush your feelings.

3. If you have to say no to somebody very close to you, Miss Manners suggests that you do whatever you possibly can to get across your love and sympathies. In other words, dont say, "I have something else to do." This implies that "something else" has priority over them. Instead, say something like, "Its going to hurt me to miss your party, but theres nothing I can do to change my schedule at the last minute. However, Ill be thinking about you."

4. If you have to say no to an authority figure (i.e., professor, parent, boss, club president, etc.), let them know what your other obligations are. Most of the time they simply dont have a clue. Miss Manners suggests a response like, "Im currently working on Project Y for you; if youd prefer me to work on Project X, then Y will probably be late." The key is not to be confrontational or defensive when responding. I know this is much easier said than done.

5. If someone is trying to sell you (or get you to contribute to) something you dont wont or need, just simply say, "Im sorry, but Im not interested," and you cut it off. Miss Manners says that there are always people out there who think its more polite to listen to a persons entire sales pitch. To this she responds, "People who sell are only concerned about selling, not about trying to pass the time of day." So your guilt-induced politeness is serving no one, especially you.

Rural

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^ Miss Manners remains my hero.


I've internalized her advice about outrageous announcements: if the speaker seems happy, the response is "how nice for you" and if they seem to be devastated, it's "oh, dear." Rinse and repeat, and hope it's clear how the announcer feels about teen daughter's pregnancy/ vasectomy side effect/ spouse leaving them for their sibling, etc.

iris lily

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Remember, you owe no one an explanation. They are inviting you, they are not summoning you. Stick to "thank you for the invite, but I can't make it" and then stop offering explanations. Your finances are not anyone else's business so you do not need to explain yourself.

" I/We am/are going to pass on the lovely invitation, but hope you have a fantastic time." 

Lather/rinse/repeat

I definitely agree that you owe no one an explanation. Now if only, when I do that, I could get my friends to stop following up with a "but *whyyyyyyyyyy* it will be so much *fuuunnnnn* but *whhhhhhaiiyyyyyyyyy*". In exactly the tone you are imagining there. (:

The "just say no responses" are on the money. It is something I struggle with too, because the response is simple, but we sabotage our selves by wanting to add more.

This is also the standard advice offered by "etiquette experts", Miss Manner makes for fun reading and offers the same advice:

Quote
The ability to say no politely is an essential social skill. All that is really needed is the ability to repeat No, thank you, interspersed with such small politenesses as Im so sorry and Youre kind to ask and I wish you luck.

Elaborating is what gets people into trouble. Excuses that are false are traps one sets for oneself, but even true excuses encourage the audacious to argue: Cant you do that another night? One little piece of cake isnt going to kill you. But this helps more people.

Yet most people cant help blabbing on to soften  the no, which is apt to be so softened as to give way. So here is a small sample of supplementary sentences:

Im afraid Im not taking on anything else right now.

Sorry, I never discuss my finances.

Im sure its wonderful, but Im not going to have any.

We never go to balls, but wed love to see you privately.

Im so sorry, but thats not something I can help you with.

If you care to send me written material, Ill get in touch if I find it interests me.

I didnt realize what this involved, and I think Id better bow out.

Another excerpt addresses some of your concerns about their responses:

Quote
1. If somebody tries to pressure you into doing something you really dont want to do or have time to do, the less you engage them the better. Meaning, you should say "No, thank you," period; "Im very sorry, Im busy," period; "Thank you, but Id rather walk home," period. The key is not just to say "no," but to shut up afterwards. Miss Manners says that if you continue to engage the requester, more than likely, the conversation will result in an argument. In other words, you dont owe anyone an explanation (bosses, parents, professors excluded). Youre in charge of your own time.

2. If somebody is rude in their request for something (i.e., Shouldnt you dump that good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours?), do not return rudeness with rudeness. Instead, refuse to engage that person. Miss Manner suggests that you dont argue the issue, because you dont accept the basis for their opinion (its their problem, not yours). She recommends you say, "How nice of you to take an interest in my private affairs," period. And if you really do want advice on your relationship, ask someone who has your best interest at heart, not someone who wants to crush your feelings.

3. If you have to say no to somebody very close to you, Miss Manners suggests that you do whatever you possibly can to get across your love and sympathies. In other words, dont say, "I have something else to do." This implies that "something else" has priority over them. Instead, say something like, "Its going to hurt me to miss your party, but theres nothing I can do to change my schedule at the last minute. However, Ill be thinking about you."

4. If you have to say no to an authority figure (i.e., professor, parent, boss, club president, etc.), let them know what your other obligations are. Most of the time they simply dont have a clue. Miss Manners suggests a response like, "Im currently working on Project Y for you; if youd prefer me to work on Project X, then Y will probably be late." The key is not to be confrontational or defensive when responding. I know this is much easier said than done.

5. If someone is trying to sell you (or get you to contribute to) something you dont wont or need, just simply say, "Im sorry, but Im not interested," and you cut it off. Miss Manners says that there are always people out there who think its more polite to listen to a persons entire sales pitch. To this she responds, "People who sell are only concerned about selling, not about trying to pass the time of day." So your guilt-induced politeness is serving no one, especially you.


But the wonderful Judith M aka Miss Manners not withstanding, social invitations from someone with whom you wish to maintain a relationship DO require a bit more than No, thank you.an assurance of wanting to see them atbanotherbtimebis pretty good. And then YOU can do,the inviting, next time.

Mirwen

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In order of preference

"Not this time, thanks!"

"How about Y, instead?"

"Not in the budget today" (only if really pressed or asked directly about money.)

These are all sufficiently vague that the person shouldn't feel like I'm trying to avoid them.  However, pretty much all my friends and family know I'm super frugal.


Greg

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Instead of saying "I'd rather not do that (for whatever reason)" you could, and it might help to, just say what you'd rather do.  So if someone says hey let's go out for expensive drinks to hang out, don't mention that you don't want to spend the money but instead just say "what if I buy a bottle of (insert name of adult beverage here) and we hang out at my place?"

"Let's get a condo for this weekend"  is met with "Why don't we do a day trip instead?"  Etc.

NV Teacher

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My standard line is, "Thanks, but it's just not in my budget this month."

Johnez

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I'm going to have to print these responses out. The Miss Manners philosophy is perfect: refuse to engage.

My girlfriend has problems with turning people down and feeling guilty. While all of these replies here would be fine in shutting down the request, are there any particular ways to deal with the internal guilt?

DeltaBond

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Ya know, it seems like a lot of people are simply looking for ways to be honest, yet get a polite point across.  We're mustacian BECAUSE we don't like to do the things our non-mustacian friends do.  If those things were our bread and butter, we'd have no problem going to all of it, all the time.  The core truth is that we don't 'typically' enjoy those things.  Doesn't matter if the reason is money related or not, you'd turn it down if there was any other reason, too.

I don't want to spend money at restaurants all the time because that's not how I like to spend my evenings.  Restaurants are noisy and hectic most of the time, and watching people drink then get in their cars and drive home bothers the hell out of me.

Vacations, again, group vacations are typically not a place that I want to go, or with people I feel like going with.  That's a lot of money to spend on something I'm not going to fully enjoy... PLUS I have to use my hard earned leave time.  My time, money and leave hours are precious to me.

Weddings... I hate weddings, because I had a rotten divorce.  I wish the people well, but don't make me watch.  If its a wedding where they actually value the guests and do more of a party in appreciation of the people who support their decision, instead of forcing people to rent $200+ tuxes and spend money on destination drama, then end up drinking in an area with only a porta-potty, yeah, not gonna be interested, sorry.

Usually money isn't my main reason for not wanting to do these things.  Dig down and look, is it yours?

The_path_less_taken

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Remember, you owe no one an explanation. They are inviting you, they are not summoning you. Stick to "thank you for the invite, but I can't make it" and then stop offering explanations. Your finances are not anyone else's business so you do not need to explain yourself.


1+

"Thanks for the invite, but I've got plans: want to xyz next week?"

"Sorry: I'm hand loading 8 tons of hay this weekend (true) so will barely be able to walk by then."

"Ack: wish I'd known that was coming up. I can't go but I'm sure you'll have a blast."


I guess "No/can't wanna" works, but I usually try and soften it with something. Unless it's bs fake work crap: there's a company picnic. While I don't say "I only put up with you people when I'm on the clock" I do say "I can't come, thanks".


(I must be mellowing in my old age. I recall someone inviting me to some bs seminar in my 20's and saying: "I'd rather have sex with a dead turtle." On the plus side, this ends the conversation. It also tends to diminish further senseless invitations, so I really liked it...but now I go easy on them.)

Jakejake

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One of my former coworkers hilariously blamed everything on digestion. Want to end a never-ending conversation with someone who won't stop talking? "I'm sorry, I really have to poop."

Don't want to go out after work? "Sorry, I am having diarrhea problems today and don't want to risk it."

Weekend engagement? "Sorry, I've been really constipated, and since I have the day off I was going to load up on laxatives and see if I could unclog things."

Note: He confessed to a group of us that he didn't actually have problems, he just caught on that nobody presses for more details once he goes there. It's a sure-fire conversation ender.

Bob W

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It gets trickier when it is the spouse asking. 

scrubbyfish

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I say, "Hmmm...I can afford it, but it's not a financial priority for me, so I'll skip it."

shelivesthedream

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I have some friends who live in another city and I don't get to see them often at the moment. They earn a LOT more than me. If I were to say I couldn't do something because of money, they would kindly offer to pay for me. I appreciate this gesture, but I don't want to feel like I'm mooching off them. I can't invite them to ours because it's a different city. I therefore do two things:

1. Give a non-financial reason and suggest an alternative. For example, if they want to go to an expensive Italian place, I say, "I'm sorry, my stomach's been bad lately and I don't think I could eat Italian food. Could we go to [cheap burger place] instead?" Or if they want to go to a concert, "It'll be so noisy we won't be able to hear each other! Can we go to [quiet bar] instead?"

2. Take the initiative! I know when I'm going to be there, so I contact them first with a specific budget-friendly plan.

Otherwise, if you want to see them, just not to do something expensive, then say you're busy but suggest an alternative day. If not, follow Miss Manners!

DeltaBond

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Ya know, I've met people at restaurants and hung out AFTER I've eaten.  If you're really not going due to the cost, try it.

forummm

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"I'd rather have sex with a dead turtle."

+

It gets trickier when it is the spouse asking. 

= <image not suitable for sensitive viewers>

aceyou

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"Sorry, but I'm a baller on a budget."

LeRainDrop

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"Aw, thanks for asking me, but I think I'm going to [have to] pass this time."  Continue with ideas for getting together some other time.

soulpatchmike

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My wife just uses me as a scapegoat.

"sorry, my husband is a cheapskate"
"sorry, my husband doesn't want to go."
"my husband said if you pay we would love to go."
etc...

I have no problem being a scapegoat.

tj

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My wife just uses me as a scapegoat.

"sorry, my husband is a cheapskate"
"sorry, my husband doesn't want to go."
"my husband said if you pay we would love to go."
etc...

I have no problem being a scapegoat.

That would feel so embarrassing for me. I guess if you have no shame. :D

Rollin

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Remember, you owe no one an explanation. They are inviting you, they are not summoning you. Stick to "thank you for the invite, but I can't make it" and then stop offering explanations. Your finances are not anyone else's business so you do not need to explain yourself.

Plus there is no need to lie.  Those little lies do have an impact (oh, I am saving for a vacation, etc.).  Just be clear and direct like ysette9 suggests.

mtn

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I tell the truth. It is usually one of the following, in this order:

1: Not this time--too rich for my blood (in a somewhat sheepish/laughing way)
2: Nope, not in the budget right nowsaving up for a wedding! (Will be replaced by Down Payment in a few months) 
3: Sorry [wo]man, blew the entertainment budget on (XYZ) last week, OR Sorry bud, already planning on blowing the entertainment budget next week on (LMNOP)

If it is SWMBO, I'll just tell her that either we can't afford it.

Will

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"Sorry, but I'm a baller on a budget."

Mine is essentially a variation on this one.

"That's not in my budget."  Because I know there will be things that come up every so often (like concerts or whatever) that I DO budget for, so if that money is spent, it is no go.

Jouer

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Specifically for the concert of a band you like, I'll say "nah man, too rich for my blood." Among good friends, there should be nothing further to add. Though, if you wish there is nothing wrong with adding, "wanna check out [smaller, maybe local band] at [smaller, cheaper venue] later on this month?"

I sometimes do spendypants things. Sometimes I organize them. I'd never want someone to feel guilty about choosing not to come.

I could see feeling guilty if you never spend time with the person anymore...but no need to feel guilt over not wanting to spend a lot on an event, even one you kind of would like to attend.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2015, 11:01:20 AM by Jouer »

Schaefer Light

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I usually say it isn't in my budget.

Doesn't mean I can't afford it, I just haven't planned to spend money on XYZ.
That's exactly what I say.

Zikoris

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My wife just uses me as a scapegoat.

"sorry, my husband is a cheapskate"
"sorry, my husband doesn't want to go."
"my husband said if you pay we would love to go."
etc...

I have no problem being a scapegoat.

I also encourage my boyfriend to blame things on me, financially or otherwise! I have no problem being the "bad guy" who pooh-poohs an idea.

ladydoc

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Totally agree with a polite- "thanks for the invite but I can't. Did you want to check out that (free) outdoor movie with me next weekend." (Or fill in the blank). But I feel your pain because people often push you for details and they aren't stupid- I think they get the hint. I have people who press me on this stuff and I think it's more about them. By saying you are trying to save money they take it as an affront especially if they know you don't "need to" in the traditional sense. As if you are a skinny person talking about watching your weight etc. The more insecure they are the worse it is.

As an aside, I think it's wrong to pretend or even imply by omission that you are poor if you aren't. You are allowed to be on a budget or saving for something- no explanation needed. But if someone finds out that you aren't really maxing out your credit cards or in debt or whatever , they might feel betrayed.


libertarian4321

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I'm a HUGE FAN of "can't afford it."

It usually shuts up the other person pretty quick, even if it isn't true.

If they insist on pushing it, I'll say something like "okay, I can afford it, but I'd prefer to invest the money in a good no load mutual fund" then go into a long rant about dollar cost averaging and the time value of money.

Their eyes will glaze over in less than 2 minutes.  At that point, I have won, it's no longer an issue.


I'm a red panda

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I'm a HUGE FAN of "can't afford it."

It usually shuts up the other person pretty quick, even if it isn't true.


I'm not a fan for two reasons:
1) Most of my friends and family know it is just not true.
2) It is more likely to get people (who sometimes can't afford it...) to offer to pay for you. Which I also do not want.

So in my experience, it doesn't shut them up at all.  I either get called cheap; or I then have to come up with another reason on why they shouldn't spend on me. (The reason being: I have plenty of money!)

CmFtns

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Throughout and after college many of my friends have been to literally countless concerts. In my entire life I have never attended one concert. It really has not been hard and I have not lost any friendships over it. I usually hide the frugality by saying I do not enjoy concerts or that I do not want to travel that far to go to a concert (usually they are in nearby 1-2 hour away major city).

Some friends have huge bundle packs (basically season tickets) to all the concerts in the major amphitheater where all the bands come too. They are hundreds and hundreds of dollars... so crazy

NOTE* I avoided bi-yearly cruises in college exactly the same way