Author Topic: How do you not get angry when biking?  (Read 12866 times)

Katnina

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How do you not get angry when biking?
« on: August 24, 2013, 01:14:30 AM »
I've been biking around NYC for a couple of months now thanks to our new bikeshare program, and I love it most of the time, but really hate it when people get in the way/do stupid thing/etc.
So, how do you not get totally irate when biking and someone does something stupid?
Example: i was cruising down 9th avenue today, which has a dedicated, parking-protected bike lane, and its own bike signals.  I was going at a decent speed and 3 guys just stepped of the sidewalk and into the bike lane.  I nearly hit them.  I screamed at the top of my lungs, "WATCH OUT, GET OUT OF THE BIKE LANE!!!" as I swerved around them (nearly biting it in the process)-had I braked, I would have hit them as they were that close to me, i was at a decent speed, and those bikes are very heavy.  I was really shaken up and pissed after that.  Then, on our way home tonight, DH and I were riding single-file on the West Side bike path and two people were in front of us riding side by side, with one of them in the opposite bike lane.  They wouldn't move over for another solo biker we saw trying to pass them.  I started ringing my bell and DH did too and finally they went single file so we could pass them (there was oncoming bike traffic in the opposite lane intermitently and a blind curve ahead, no way we could have safely passed them by going in the other lane).  As we rode by, I was so frustrated, I yelled "THAT IS REALLY DANGEROUS WHAT YOU ARE DOING!" 
I feel like the amount of yelling that I do has increased drastically and I don't like it.  But if someone is doing something that is unsafe, I get so frustrated, I feel like I can't NOT yell at them.
So, how do you more experienced bikers who deal with traffic and pedestrians not get riled up all the time!?

gooki

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2013, 01:27:14 AM »
By knowing if I was driving, I'd be yelling 5x as much.

Katnina

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2013, 01:54:04 AM »
i do drive in the city, and it doesn't make me nearly as mad.  I can anticipate what most city drivers are going to do, so i don't get surprised very often with someone coming into my lane out of nowhere...and, pedestrians tend to stay out of the way of car lanes when they don't have the walk signal.  And I drive a manual in city traffic and it doesnt make me nearly as angry as biking does.

Ozstache

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2013, 02:53:38 AM »
If you assume everyone out there is an idiot and trying to kill you, you tend to ride more defensively and not get angry.

In case one, just assume these guys were going to step out in front of you, give them a warning ding of your bell and start braking far enough before them to stop if that didn't get them to look at you.  Worst case, you end up stopped in front of them, at which point you calmly point out that they should be a little more careful in future stepping onto a bike lane, wish them a good day then be on your way.

In case two, give the warning ding as you did then, if they don't move over, get up behind them and continue to lightly ding your bell until they comply. If they don't comply, just stay in close formation behind them and, within a few minutes, surely a passing opportunity will present itself. Give them a friendly wave as you go past and enjoy the rest of your day.

Idiots - Nil, You - Two. And the world will be a nicer place for it!

FunkyStickman

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2013, 06:07:57 AM »
I have an air horn on my bike. Helps tremendously. :)

Peter

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2013, 07:06:46 AM »
I have an air horn on my bike. Helps tremendously. :)

Or pre-order one of these bad boys.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/lansey/loud-bicycle-car-horns-for-cyclists

I bet if you were choosing between horn and helmet, horn would win the "increased safety" contest hands down!

jradc

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2013, 07:16:05 AM »
Just like MMM says: fear is a chemical, and so is anger.

The times I get angry on a bike are usually the times when someone cuts me off or passes too close, or otherwise triggers my fear of getting hit - and the reaction is to lash out in anger. I think the fear and anger are tied together.

Understanding this, I agree with Ozstache - as you get better and better, you can anticipate the moves pedestrians and drivers around you might make, even when its not what they are "supposed" to do. For example, one of the most dangerous things is when you are in a bike lane, and a vehicle makes a right turn in front of you without signalling. But often a driver about to turn right subtly moves towards the right part of their lane. Now I automatically look for those little signs of what others are doing, and position myself to avoid risks whenever possible.

When I anticipate and avoid these accidents, I still mentally shake my head, but I don't get angry, and it doesn't ruin my mood.

Runge

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2013, 07:45:54 AM »
I get "angry" when cars pass me and give me less than 3 feet. The closer they are the angrier I get. I was once on a nice 50 mi ride in Feb, and my dad was on his bike about 20 yards ahead of me. We're flying down this hill at about 30, so we can't hear anything else around us. It's a two lane road with no shoulder with no oncoming traffic in this section, and the speed limit is unfortunately 55. (The reason we were on this road is because it was the organized ride course). So this a**hole is a blue, jacked up Ram 2500 Heavy Duty (Diesel) blows by me at I estimate around 70. He's about 1 foot away from me AND he's pulling trailer!!! He does the same thing to my dad which pisses me off even more. That's the only time I've ever wished I could instantly turn my bike into a motorcycle, pull out a gun and lay waste to that guy.

But that's the most extreme case I've ever experienced. Normally I just shake my fist in the air to let them know I'm not happy with their douchery. If I catch up to them at a stoplight ahead, I'll do my best to politely inform them of how they just nearly injured/killed me, and wish them a wonderful day.

Paul der Krake

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2013, 07:47:42 AM »
It's all about anticipation. Be constantly on the look out and you will soon be anticipating people crossing the street before they even know it themselves. Someone looking around for a house number or landmark? There's a good chance they will be spotting it in a few seconds and it's on the other sidewalk. Buses, cars, pedestrians, they all follow the same pattern. They look around, acquire a target destination and proceed to get themselves over there, sometimes by being mindful of others, sometimes not.

Overall biking agility is definitely a plus. You're more likely to be angry at people who bring you to a complete stop. Having to brake or swerve to avoid and idiot can be frustrating, but with time you will become so accustomed to traffic (especially on the rutes you take over and over again) that you could do it in your sleep.

etselec

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2013, 07:55:53 AM »
I concur with jradc - most of the times I get angry while biking are, at root, about fear, i.e. "I'm angry because you just did something illegal and/or stupid that almost got me killed!"

My first line of defense is to bike defensively, as others have mentioned, which dissolves some of those situations. Second line of defense, once my fear-chemicals have been triggered, is to immediately verbalize what happened (to myself - usually I am past the other person by this point or they are in their car & can't hear me). This help me to process the situation and calm down quickly. For some reason I find swearing helps with the catharsis, as well. So for instance, "Holy f*** you had a red light what the f*** did you think you were doing that was extremely unsafe!" Then, other stress-busting techniques like deep breathing if need be. Luckily, exercise is great at diffusing stress as well, and you're already on a bike so you're way ahead of the game!

(I'll admit, I have a harder time shaking it off when I get heckled or harassed on my bike, since I can't just tell myself that the driver/pedestrian was clueless or ignorant. But that's a different issue.)

Russ

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2013, 08:00:52 AM »
If they're not trying to piss you off on purpose, recognize that they don't know any better and are doing the best they can with what they know. Like others have said, defensive riding can help you see these things before they happen.

If they are trying to piss you off on purpose, don't let them win. A friendly wave, as contrary as it might feel to your natural reaction, usually "wins" the let's-make-the-other-person-angry game in my experience.

I doubt the above works for everybody, but it's what I do.

Nancy

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2013, 08:51:41 AM »
Firstly, good on ya for biking and following the rules of the road! I agree with Ozstache. I ride defensively and assume that others are going to make sudden and erratic moves. In your first example, I wouldn't assume that the seemingly safe bike lane is in fact safe, so I wouldn't   be riding so fast that I couldn't stop quickly, and I'd make sure to have a viable passing/exit strategy. I never get angry while riding in a car or on a bike because I'm not surprised by "bad" driving or traffic; they are well known aspects of commuting. I think it's easier to stop getting upset when you realize that everyone else's behavior is completely out of your control. I can only modify my reactions and actions. Since I view biking as a helluva lot of fun, I bike in a way that maximizes my fun. Works for me. YMMV

Eric

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2013, 09:08:11 AM »
I mostly just get pissed at the stop lights that turn yellow/red just before I get there.

For the inconsiderate or clueless cars, I just mutter dumbass under my breath, do my best to shake it off and try to watch out for the next guy.

For the inconsiderate or clueless bikers or pedestrians, those are much easier to spot so I'll usually yell out ahead of me "Heads up" or "Coming behind you" or something similar.

RhythmKats

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2013, 09:15:03 AM »
Katnina,

I bike in the city occasionally as well. It is frustrating...especially when pedestrians just walk in front of you, or wait for the walk signal 5 feet into the road where you are biking.

I'm hoping the bike share will raise general awareness and slowly (probably very slowly) things will start to improve. Keep being a model biker and peds and cars will have one less person to complain about and hopefully others will begin to pay attention. I do find there's a general lack of awareness here in the city. I notice it even when I'm walking on the sidewalk, which has its own set of rules here, as you know!

Stay safe!

sol

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2013, 10:01:07 AM »
People who get angry while biking are probably the same people who get angry in regular old life.  Changing how you bike isn't going to help with personal anger issues. 

I suggest therapy or pharmaceuticals.  Or my personal favorite homeopathic remedy, a big old bowl of chill the fuck out.

GuitarStv

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #15 on: August 24, 2013, 10:45:02 AM »
I try to remember that people make mistakes and don't always do dumb things out of maliciousness.  Pedestrians stepping in front of you for example . . . they may have no idea how quickly you're moving on your bike (not an excuse I know).  Sometimes the forces of stupid conspire against you so much that you will get angry though. 

I was cycling to work today (need to finish something for next week)  . . . I came across another cyclist heading towards me, going the up the street opposing traffic.  There was a line of traffic zipping by on my left, so I couldn't avoid him.  I had to come to a complete stop in front of the guy.  At which point he yelled at me to get out of the way. . .

FFS, I can understand the idea that riding on the sidewalk is safer (it isn't), but riding against the flow of traffic?


Sigh . . . people.

Katnina

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #16 on: August 24, 2013, 11:34:53 AM »
Just like MMM says: fear is a chemical, and so is anger.

The times I get angry on a bike are usually the times when someone cuts me off or passes too close, or otherwise triggers my fear of getting hit - and the reaction is to lash out in anger. I think the fear and anger are tied together.


Yes, this is exactly it!  I was terrified I was going to either hurt myself, or hurt them in case 1, and in case 2, there were bikers coming down the opposing lane (which one of the guys was riding in) who kept dinging their bells at him and he refused to move over- and with a blind curve coming, that is fucking terrifying.  Right after we passed them, I saw a guy in the opposite lane with no helmet AND no light- mind you this was AT NIGHT.  the guy riding in the wrong lane could have zoomed right into him without seeing him and really hurt the guy with no helmet- who yes, should have a helmet and light, but who was minding his own business in his own lane.  I've seen some really scary bike accidents and when I am scared, I get PISSED.  So I guess I will get better at anticipating what people will do as I have more experience biking-just like with driving-I've been driving for 16 years and the first 2 were definitely the scariest.

As for people riding on the sidewalk, and going the wrong way on one-way streets, that drives me CRAZY! It's a sideWALK.  Just like how walking in the BIKE lane drives me crazy.  Follow the rules, people, and everyone will be safer!!!!   The citibikes say "Stay off the sidewalk.  Obey traffic rules." RIGHT on them, between the handlebars and people still don't do it. 
I hope as more people try out the bikeshare, awareness and safety will increase.

Thank you all.

willn

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2013, 01:05:27 PM »
Meditation.

Get older.

Forgive them.

These all help the rush of anger from asshole drivers.

I strive to take a bemused attitude, they are pathetic, unworthy of even my contempt type deal.

Face the reality that they exist, they are going to nearly squash you, and the best defense is to stay out of their way.  Sometimes a good offense helps.  Cut wide and don't allow passing in a narrow spot, hold your lane when prudent and you know you are seen.  Join the local pedestrian/cycling town advisory committee.  Or form one.  Get signs put up. 

Undecided

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #18 on: August 24, 2013, 03:10:47 PM »
Just let it go. Accept that your health and safety are not important to other people (some other cultures are much more realistic about that, I think). Accept that your anger and frustration do nothing.

But do improve your ability to keep yourself safe.

I ride a lot (on the order of 1,000 hours/year) (and I rode in Manhattan for a few years before the push to make it bike friendly, so I have some idea of riding in city auto/pedestrian/horse traffic), and I've had a tremendous number of "encounters" with others while riding. But other than a small handful that were unquestionably intentionally hostile "attacks" by drivers, these encounters are just the unfortunate result of how people live; they feel more threatening when you're exposed on a bike and the other party is pushing two tons of steel and glass, but as far as being an expression of how people interact, they're just like all the other incidents that are the unfortunate result of people's self-centerdness, stress, impatience, etc.

For full disclosure, what I've said above has always been my general attitude about this, but until a few years ago (covering a span of close to 20 years from my early teens until shortly after I had my first child), I would periodically respond to especially reckless driver behavior (and intentionally dangerous driver behavior) by catching the offending car (the average driver has no idea how fast a bike racer can be) and inflicting some measure of retribution. It's been a couple of years, so I think I've mostly aged out of that (to the disappointment of some of my long-time riding friends).

Jamesqf

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #19 on: August 25, 2013, 12:57:20 PM »
Why on earth should you not get angry?  As long as you can control that anger well enough that you don't start shooting those who anger you (or at least can avoid being caught :-)), then to me it seems a perfectly sensible reaction.  I would hate to become the sort of person who really thinks the anger-provoking behavior of others is perfectly acceptable, any more than I would want to be the sort of person who thinks e.g. bigotry is acceptable.

The key, I think, is recognizing how to usefully channel that anger.  When biking, a good bit of anger-produced adrenaline helps keep my speed up, and the stress of doing so helps me get into better physical condition.

CJMcF

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2013, 04:11:59 AM »
I'm afraid that 90% of my swearing is done when I'm on my bike!

Nudelkopf

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2013, 04:26:59 AM »
I had a great experience on the road today -- I was going to cross a bridge with another car coming in the opposite direction, and a caravan was behind me.. So I just confidently took to the centre of my lane.. Voila, no caravan trying to overtake me on a skinny bridge :) I was proud of myself for not being a wuss. Because I would have gotten angry if he had tried to overtake me on the bridge.


... But then I almost ran down one of my students cos she was texting and stepped out in front of me. Grrr. I gave her a talking to when I had her for maths later that day!

NinetyFour

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2013, 05:49:00 AM »
Yesterday, I was biking slowly on a very quiet residential block in my small town.  I was in my lane, but close to the yellow (middle) line.  There was no traffic in front of in either direction.  I was just taking my time, happy to be going home from work.  I was vaguely aware of the sound of a car behind me.  As I was turning my head to see if there was indeed a car behind me, it passed me *on my right*!!!  Yikes!  I was so surprised!  I didn't swear at her, but I did say, "You've got to be kidding me!!"  (I know I was in the wrong for taking up the whole lane, and for daydreaming a bit, but she could have done a little tap on the horn and given me a chance to get out her way!)

stevesteve

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #23 on: August 26, 2013, 05:58:05 AM »
I get less angry because I don't find it helpful.  Now I generally reserve it for those who directly endangered my life.  I've also found once you get over the nerves you get far better responses talking to people.  This kid was texting while driving so I rode up to his window and told him he had almost hit me.  You could see the shame since he obviously didn't realize how dangerous his actions were (hence, the problem).  Sometimes people yell back and tell me to get off the road to which I just stare silently at them.

I also find driving on I-95 in the northeast more enraging.  That guy risking an accident when he's vacillating between 45 and 85mph weaving in and out of traffic and tailgating me then cutting me off while I'm using cruise control at 60mph (well, not during rush hour) makes me far angrier.  I really think every driver's ed class needs a section on traffic system efficiencies and why free flow at lower, steady speeds in congested areas can lead to greater throughput (and higher average speed) since clearly the safety messages don't stick.

I had a great experience on the road today -- I was going to cross a bridge with another car coming in the opposite direction, and a caravan was behind me.. So I just confidently took to the centre of my lane.. Voila, no caravan trying to overtake me on a skinny bridge :) I was proud of myself for not being a wuss. Because I would have gotten angry if he had tried to overtake me on the bridge.


... But then I almost ran down one of my students cos she was texting and stepped out in front of me. Grrr. I gave her a talking to when I had her for maths later that day!

This solves SO many problems and it gives you room to safely swerve right if someone is really endangering you.  I constantly right about 1/3 if the way to the right in the lane.

fuzzed

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #24 on: August 26, 2013, 06:14:59 AM »
Or my personal favorite homeopathic remedy, a big old bowl of chill the fuck out.

I almost spit out my coffee when I read that.

Can I get this at any health food store or do i need to order it online only??


mpbaker22

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #25 on: August 26, 2013, 09:32:20 AM »
The first time I biked to work I played yo-yo with a bus for about 5 miles straight on the way home.  He'd pass me within 1-2 feet, go 1/10 of a mile up the road, hit his brakes, pick up passengers, I'd pass him on his left ... repeat.

He passed me probably 5 or 6 times.  Each time leaving only a foot or two.  By the time he stopped to pick up passengers he was usually only 25-50 feet in front of me.

Russ

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #26 on: August 26, 2013, 10:00:24 AM »
The first time I biked to work I played yo-yo with a bus for about 5 miles straight on the way home.  He'd pass me within 1-2 feet, go 1/10 of a mile up the road, hit his brakes, pick up passengers, I'd pass him on his left ... repeat.

He passed me probably 5 or 6 times.  Each time leaving only a foot or two.  By the time he stopped to pick up passengers he was usually only 25-50 feet in front of me.

If you reach up and bump one of the bus's mirrors, the driver is usually required to stop the bus, get out, and fix it on the spot. Just sayin' ;-)

galliver

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #27 on: August 26, 2013, 11:49:56 AM »
I prefer the roll-eyes and sarcasm method for anything that's a douche move but doesn't get my adrenaline up. It means I say something fairly nice/polite, which is calming (same way smiling when you're down helps you cheer up), but sarcasm makes it cathartic same way as swearing/yelling. Or, alternately, I'll say "f*ck you, a**hole" to myself in the calmest tone possible. :)

Also is passing on the right such a huge problem? I only hang out on the left of the lane/road when I'm within a block of a left turn, but I'm perfectly happy for people to pass me then if they have the space.

GuitarStv

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #28 on: August 26, 2013, 12:35:15 PM »
I'm afraid that 90% of my swearing is done when I'm on my bike!

This post simply indicates that you are slacking in your non-bike related swearing activities . . .

mindaugas

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #29 on: August 26, 2013, 12:38:46 PM »
I used to just stay off the road and take trails in to keep calm, but now my route is all road. Fortunately it's low traffic residential roads so incidents are pretty rare. Although I was just cut off by a guy this morning that was very close to a crash, enough to make me yell, "COME ON!" but still no cursing or middle fingers.

ThatsMyOtter

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #30 on: August 26, 2013, 01:08:47 PM »
I used to vent to my husband but found that the cat has a much higher tolerance for hearing about drivers passing too close or whatever. I also keep a record of problem areas where the infrastructure could be improved and then call various people at local department of public works and county or state department of transportation to let them know what the problem is (I usually call a few times a year to make new requests, check on the status of previous requests, and thank the people who helped make a request happen). Ultimately it's the responsibility of the people using the roads to drive/bike/walk legally and safely, but it's the government's job to design the roads so that everyone can get where they're going safely.

fallstoclimb

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #31 on: August 28, 2013, 07:01:29 AM »
People who get angry while biking are probably the same people who get angry in regular old life.  Changing how you bike isn't going to help with personal anger issues. 

Disagree with this entirely.  As others as said, anger while biking tends to be driven by fear.  Your life really is at risk out there. 

I used to do most of my biking with my husband.  Now that I'm bike commuting, I'm out there alone most of the time.  I find myself talking to myself *a lot* about idiot drivers/pedestrians/whatever.  Pretty much keeping up a running commentary:  "3 feet would've been nice" "Care to look where you're going?" "Watch it, dumbass" etc, etc.  I think it helps me process / keep calm / probably look crazy but that's most likely a benefit!

I also spend a lot of time daydreaming about catching up with drivers at lights and politely informing them that the law in fact mandates drivers to give bikes 3 feet, and to cross lane markers if necessary.  I get angriest when cars seem more concerned about staying in the lines than not hitting me.

And when someone really pulls a dumb move, I sure do yell.  The one time I saw my husband almost get hit, the adrenaline rush meant I DID catch up with the driver and went into total mama bear mode on him.

BlueMR2

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #32 on: August 28, 2013, 10:08:27 AM »
I don't really know how I would *get* angry while biking?

I find it really relaxing.  Even when I'm fighting my way through traffic it's pretty relaxing.  I enjoy the challenge, and really, I kind of forget that there are people driving those pesky cars.  They simply become random objects to avoid rather than people out to do me harm.

PindyStache

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #33 on: August 28, 2013, 01:10:41 PM »
Wow, I read this thread at just the right time--really needed this nudge back towards sensibility and mindfulness. Thanks!

Usually I just have silly and amusing fantasies about things that I would do to ignorant or a**hole drivers:
-controlling a giant laser beam that blasts cars to smithereens
-slapping some sort of revenge bumper sticker onto cars
-smashing mirrors with bike lock
-looking up license plate and booting/decorating car

None of these ever come to fruition, but I had a unusual number of incidents over the past couple weeks that made me more seriously contemplate some sort of retribution or confrontation. At the end of the day I usually can recognize that the vast majority of drivers are courteous and safe, and that retribution against some stranger on the road isn't productive--a compassionate response is much more likely to get them to rethink their behavior.

GuitarStv

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #34 on: August 28, 2013, 02:06:18 PM »
If all else fails . . .

chardog

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #35 on: August 28, 2013, 04:29:57 PM »
On a bike commute home one afternoon, I had a full size pick-up almost back into me as he backed out of his driveway from the other side of the street.

I was in the left lane preparing to turn left and had to swerve to the right to avoid the truck.  Luckily, I was able to maintain control and not get hit.

Moments later, while waiting in the que to turn left at the light, the truck creeped up along side me in the right lane and the window rolled down. 

I was expecting to be shouted at my some clueless idiot with the typical "get off the road"

But instead, it was a kind elderly man who gave a sincere apology for the infraction.

I could think of nothing to say but a simple "Thank You."

His choosing to apologize was heartfelt and touching.

And the incident was a good reminder to be ready for anything that can happen on the road.

mindaugas

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #36 on: August 28, 2013, 04:40:22 PM »
On a bike commute home one afternoon, I had a full size pick-up almost back into me as he backed out of his driveway from the other side of the street.

I was in the left lane preparing to turn left and had to swerve to the right to avoid the truck.  Luckily, I was able to maintain control and not get hit.

Moments later, while waiting in the que to turn left at the light, the truck creeped up along side me in the right lane and the window rolled down. 

I was expecting to be shouted at my some clueless idiot with the typical "get off the road"

But instead, it was a kind elderly man who gave a sincere apology for the infraction.

I could think of nothing to say but a simple "Thank You."

His choosing to apologize was heartfelt and touching.

And the incident was a good reminder to be ready for anything that can happen on the road.

Stuff like that doesn't make me mad, backing out and being able to see everything is tough regardless. It was nice he apologized and I've had drivers apologize to me before as well.

willn

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #37 on: August 29, 2013, 09:40:41 AM »
What I've been annoyed by more lately than aggressive or inattentive drivers, are those that are too polite.

Say a biker comes to a 4 way stop--a car arrives first, and biker slows his roll or stops, so driver can take his right of way and then the biker can zip through in the right order.

But no. Driver sits there, mouth agape, finger in nose.  Politely waiting, perhaps, or perhaps he's just stoned or texting.  ARrrrrgh.

Drivers! Take your right of way and get the hell out of my way, please. 




mindaugas

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #38 on: August 29, 2013, 09:54:24 AM »
What I've been annoyed by more lately than aggressive or inattentive drivers, are those that are too polite.

Say a biker comes to a 4 way stop--a car arrives first, and biker slows his roll or stops, so driver can take his right of way and then the biker can zip through in the right order.

But no. Driver sits there, mouth agape, finger in nose.  Politely waiting, perhaps, or perhaps he's just stoned or texting.  ARrrrrgh.

Drivers! Take your right of way and get the hell out of my way, please.
This happens to me ALL THE TIME. Drivers sit there waiting for me. But it's not the driver's fault, we cyclists blow through these stops so they are just being extra cautious. Don't deny it, we ALL do it. I will roll to a near stop when there is a car waiting but that's even worse because they can't tell if I am going to fully stop. I just don't want to unclip ...

BlueMR2

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #39 on: August 29, 2013, 10:11:02 AM »
If all else fails . . .


Funny you mention that...  I hadn't considered that angle.  The weight of responsibility for the firearm in my holster, on the occasions that I carry one (which is quite often when cycling), really keeps me centered and relaxed.  I do still get annoyed with people, but it never goes above "mildly annoyed", and I have a much easier time seeing their POV and making extra allowances for boorish behaviour.

etselec

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #40 on: August 29, 2013, 10:41:23 AM »
What I've been annoyed by more lately than aggressive or inattentive drivers, are those that are too polite.

Say a biker comes to a 4 way stop--a car arrives first, and biker slows his roll or stops, so driver can take his right of way and then the biker can zip through in the right order.

But no. Driver sits there, mouth agape, finger in nose.  Politely waiting, perhaps, or perhaps he's just stoned or texting.  ARrrrrgh.

Drivers! Take your right of way and get the hell out of my way, please.
This happens to me ALL THE TIME. Drivers sit there waiting for me. But it's not the driver's fault, we cyclists blow through these stops so they are just being extra cautious. Don't deny it, we ALL do it. I will roll to a near stop when there is a car waiting but that's even worse because they can't tell if I am going to fully stop. I just don't want to unclip ...

Yep, yep, and yep. I usually just end up going on through (with a little "thank you!" wave to the driver) because that's what gets everyone out of the intersection the fastest.

hybrid

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #41 on: August 29, 2013, 11:14:46 AM »
To the OP:  Say what?  I'm biking.  It's one of my favorites part of the day.  Yeah, someone is going to do something stupid now and then, that's just part of the cost of doing business. Just know stupid stuff is going to happen now and then and move on.

The thing that irritates me most about biking is watching other cyclists blatantly ignoring traffic laws in downtown traffic, giving the rest of us commuters that play by the rules a bad name.   

 

chardog

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #42 on: August 29, 2013, 03:20:07 PM »
What I've been annoyed by more lately than aggressive or inattentive drivers, are those that are too polite.

Say a biker comes to a 4 way stop--a car arrives first, and biker slows his roll or stops, so driver can take his right of way and then the biker can zip through in the right order.

But no. Driver sits there, mouth agape, finger in nose.  Politely waiting, perhaps, or perhaps he's just stoned or texting.  ARrrrrgh.

Drivers! Take your right of way and get the hell out of my way, please.
This happens to me ALL THE TIME. Drivers sit there waiting for me. But it's not the driver's fault, we cyclists blow through these stops so they are just being extra cautious. Don't deny it, we ALL do it. I will roll to a near stop when there is a car waiting but that's even worse because they can't tell if I am going to fully stop. I just don't want to unclip ...

Yep, yep, and yep. I usually just end up going on through (with a little "thank you!" wave to the driver) because that's what gets everyone out of the intersection the fastest.

Ditto to all comments.  I think the drivers are just trying to ber nice and get you across and out of the way so they don't have to worry about you anymore.

Like you, rather than yet into a "No, you go first..." back and forth, I nod/smile and otherwise acknowledge the offer and proceed.  (while keeping my eyes on any other cars as well)

Not that big a deal.  It happens so often (almost all the time) that I am just used to it and have come to expect it now.

I guess it's kind of like a very independant, able bodied woman who doesn't see the need for doors being opened for her.  Even though it may not your preference, it's not worth making an issue of.

Mike

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #43 on: August 30, 2013, 01:49:29 AM »
Worry about that which you can control and don't worry / get upset about that which you cannot.

All you really need to do is ask yourself the question, "what good does it do to get pissed off about this?" 

If you're not willing to back up your anger with some sort of constructive action, then letting the anger dominate your thinking is pointless.  If these driver behaviors are widespread, perhaps you should talk to members of the city council / mayor's office and try to push for stricter enforcement of traffic laws.  Talk to other cyclists, form an advocacy group, campaign for new laws or to strengthen existing ones to protect cyclists on the roads. 

Simply bitching about / ranting about things that bother you without acting on them does no good whatsoever.

Just my $0.02.

NinetyFour

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Re: How do you not get angry when biking?
« Reply #44 on: August 30, 2013, 06:13:50 AM »
Over the past few years, my attitude as a cyclist has mellowed.  I used to hardly ever acknowledge cars/drivers.  Now I wave or smile a "thank you" at almost every interaction.  I think that this sends positive messages to the drivers about cyclists (that we appreciate it when we are not run over) and makes me a happier cyclist.