Author Topic: How do you meet frugal people?  (Read 6451 times)

Murse

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How do you meet frugal people?
« on: November 16, 2014, 04:56:37 PM »
I posted awhile ago about not knowing what I want from life and wanting to enjoy life again. I mentioned school, and how grueling that can be, I chose not to mention the friend situation. I moved after graduating high school moving away from everyone I knew to go to school. I had a girlfriend who took up much of my time but after that ended I never made new friends in the area. I have always been an introvert but have come to realize that a large part of my misery is a non existent social life. Problem is I don't work either (literally no money,) so finding some mustachian friends in my area is now a priority and I don't know where to start, looking for ideas. Before everyone says college is the best place, I go to community college and am in nursing school at 22 years old. The majority of the students in my class are female. I am currently in a long distance relationship and can't really have female friends in our current long distance relationship. So to recap I am trying to find male friends in my area who don't go out spending money. Any advice where to start is appreciated!

iwasjustwondering

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2014, 06:29:03 PM »
So, there are some male students in your classes.  What about them?  You're seriously not allowed to have female friends in a long-distance relationship?  That is a bummer.

Gin1984

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2014, 06:30:22 PM »
You can't have female friends?  WTF?  Personally I'd be finding a new girlfriend, as well as new friends.

StartingEarly

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2014, 07:54:49 PM »
Yeah, find a new girlfriend, she has control issues.  Mustachianism is about freedom.  Controlling girlfriend is very unmustachian.

Nyarlathotep

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2014, 08:05:06 PM »
The girl friend thing aside I am kind of curious as well as to how you meet or find other like minded individuals. The best luck I have had was converting and teaching people how to be more frugal.

Murse

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2014, 08:26:51 PM »
The girlfriend thing isn't really her saying I can't have any female friends, it's more of it making her nervous and because of that I am choosing on my own to avoid seeking female friends. There is no need for it when 50% of human population are males. The males are all quite a bit older then me, with families. The only exception lives a 45 minute drive away which means the friendship would cost a good amount of gas money. Anyways, back to my question, any ideas on where to meet males in my area who are just as broke (or as frugal) as me?

acorn

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2014, 09:54:12 PM »
(There's got to be mutual trust for a LDR to work. It's ridiculous to rule out 50% of the human population because your gf gets nervous.)

Back to the main topic, go for free events at college esp anything that involves free food. You'll be sure to meet some other broke/frugal students there.
I won't rule out your older male classmates. Since you're all in the same classes, you're bound to have more in common than the rest of the student population. And you're going to want some company to get through those classes. And you're all on campus for classes anyway, who says you have to drive to their apartment to be friends. Just hang out after classes on campus or somewhere nearby.
Also, neighbors? Are you in some student dorm or in some rental with a bunch of other students? Start there.


DCJrMustachian

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2014, 10:22:20 PM »
Try meetup .com.  Lots of "free" events across a variety of interests, and people to do it with. 

Or join a more traditional club of people with compatible interests, for example biking or skateboarding.

milesdividendmd

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2014, 02:23:33 AM »
Dollar store.

(Kidding)

schimt

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2014, 08:21:07 AM »
There are probably several clubs and volunteer groups that you can get involved with for free and meet a ton of people. They might not all be frugal, but they probably are not be the kind to be going out drinking and spending a lot of money every night either.

pbkmaine

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2014, 08:35:41 AM »
Try the American Assembly for Men in Nursing. Great way to network, and you may find some frugal people there.

Murse

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2014, 08:44:29 AM »
Thanks everyone for the feedback, I'll get started!

yoga mama

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2014, 09:04:22 AM »
Just a couple things to add to above.  If you enjoy any type of activity (biking, hiking, etc) there are possibly groups in your area of people that get together to do those things.  meetup.com is a good resource as has been mentioned, but also check craigslist.  There is some sort of "social" heading there (don't exactly remember).  Another one that hasn't been mentioned is church/synagogue/house of worship.  Not sure how religious you are but many congregations offer singles groups, young adult groups, etc.  One more thing is to check out your local library, they often offer lots of different events that are free and even if you don't meet friends it gives you something stimulating to do for a couple of hours.  Look at bulletin boards at coffee shops, local markets, even the Whole Foods down the street from me has a bulletin board - you may find something interesting.  Good luck, its hard when you're reserved by nature (I know!). 

Kenoryn

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2014, 12:22:07 PM »
Not to beat a dead horse, but I agree with what others said about the girlfriend - if she doesn't trust you to have female friends now she probably never will and that will be a big headache. It will be pretty hard to avoid meeting women while you're meeting people in general.

Got any hobbies? If so, join groups related to those hobbies. If not, get some hobbies. :) Also, taking courses from local community organizations about things you're interested in, volunteering for causes you're interested in, etc. will result in like-minded people. Bear in mind that once you're there - you have to talk to people! This is the hard part for an introvert. Sit next to someone who's on their own instead of looking for an empty seat, etc. Small groups where you see the same people regularly and interact with them as part of the group are easier this way - like a book club, for example.

BooksAreNerdy

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2014, 12:58:49 PM »
I respect the OP for his stance on having female friends.

I have always trusted my DH. He is loyal to the core. He works with women. I'm fine with that. There are women in the group when their dept goes out to lunch.

Would I be OK with him going out for coffee or a drink one on one with another woman? Hell no. I'm not nervous, paranoid, or jealous. I just require that my spouse and partner respect our relationship by not socializing alone with other women. I pay him the same courtesy. I talk to the dads at preschool drop off, but I would never go get coffee with one.

Bob W

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #15 on: November 17, 2014, 02:07:20 PM »
I respect the OP for his stance on having female friends.

I have always trusted my DH. He is loyal to the core. He works with women. I'm fine with that. There are women in the group when their dept goes out to lunch.

Would I be OK with him going out for coffee or a drink one on one with another woman? Hell no. I'm not nervous, paranoid, or jealous. I just require that my spouse and partner respect our relationship by not socializing alone with other women. I pay him the same courtesy. I talk to the dads at preschool drop off, but I would never go get coffee with one.

Agreed,  22 year old male with a girlfriend should stick to his knitting.   That said, you are at an awkward stage and it is really difficult to meet true friends.   Dam near impossible in your situation.  I was never very good at it.   Try volunteering at a young adults type of club perhaps.   

Eric

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #16 on: November 17, 2014, 02:19:38 PM »
I respect the OP for his stance on having female friends.

I have always trusted my DH. He is loyal to the core. He works with women. I'm fine with that. There are women in the group when their dept goes out to lunch.

Would I be OK with him going out for coffee or a drink one on one with another woman? Hell no. I'm not nervous, paranoid, or jealous. I just require that my spouse and partner respect our relationship by not socializing alone with other women. I pay him the same courtesy. I talk to the dads at preschool drop off, but I would never go get coffee with one.

Huh?  How does your husband having friends of the opposite sex disrespect your relationship?  Setting arbitrary boundaries simply based on gender sounds pretty paranoid and jealous to me.  You either have trust, or you don't, there is no "sort of".

Zikoris

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #17 on: November 17, 2014, 02:23:44 PM »
I respect the OP for his stance on having female friends.

I have always trusted my DH. He is loyal to the core. He works with women. I'm fine with that. There are women in the group when their dept goes out to lunch.

Would I be OK with him going out for coffee or a drink one on one with another woman? Hell no. I'm not nervous, paranoid, or jealous. I just require that my spouse and partner respect our relationship by not socializing alone with other women. I pay him the same courtesy. I talk to the dads at preschool drop off, but I would never go get coffee with one.

This sentiment is so strange to me. Most of my friends are guys, especially guys I met through ballroom dance. Sometimes I take classes or go to social events with them, because that's the nature of partner dancing, which my boyfriend doesn't do. I've also gone to symphonies or ballet with other guy friends when my boyfriend doesn't want to. It would be so weird if he was against either of those or felt they were disrespectful to him.

Beric01

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #18 on: November 17, 2014, 03:27:09 PM »
I respect the OP for his stance on having female friends.

I have always trusted my DH. He is loyal to the core. He works with women. I'm fine with that. There are women in the group when their dept goes out to lunch.

Would I be OK with him going out for coffee or a drink one on one with another woman? Hell no. I'm not nervous, paranoid, or jealous. I just require that my spouse and partner respect our relationship by not socializing alone with other women. I pay him the same courtesy. I talk to the dads at preschool drop off, but I would never go get coffee with one.

This is beyond my comprehension. It sounds like there are serious trust issues, having to rule out 50% of the world's population as a potential friend. What's wrong with socializing with a friend alone? Do you or your partner not have any self control? Meeting a friend for coffee alone (regardless of gender) is in my books always a perfectly acceptable thing to do, regardless of one's relationship status.

Back to the OP, meeting frugal people is not always so easy, particularly as frugality is not always a trait that is easy to recognize. Additionally, the fact that I am frugal for financial reasons (and not necessarily environment reasons) gives me a different perspective than some. I have a frugal coworker I get along really well with, but for the rest of my real-life frugal friends, I first met them online.

tmac

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Re: How do you meet frugal people?
« Reply #19 on: November 18, 2014, 07:26:20 AM »
I echo the suggestion to get involved in interest groups. We've just moved to a new state, and our first action was to seek out a musical performance group. Rehearsals are once a week and there are monthly weekend trips during the warmer months. There are people of all ages, sexes, marital statuses. Instant, regular socializing. So maybe music isn't your thing, but maybe board games, hiking, woodworking, politics, movies, video games, or whatever would work.