Sharing one of my favorite articles about making friends:
https://www.raptitude.com/2021/01/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/
Thank you it sounds just like what my neighbor did the other day when she came over and said I could text her if I wanted to take a walk.
I didn't follow up with her because my husband doesn't like her but she hasn't done anything to make me dislike her so I will take her up on her offer.
Do not get a pet if you don't like animals, and aren't willing to occasionally spend a couple hundred bucks. Domesticated animals are great, but I'd look for shorter term ways to get that interaction. Fostering animals might be fulfilling, but it won't likely lead to friendships with humans. You can socialize at the dog park or wherever, but that's just superficial like your chit chatty neighbors.
Volunteering at a local animal shelter would probably give you better chances for actual human friendship, while avoiding the less appealing parts of having a pet. Plus there's always need, so you could get some personal fulfillment from it as well.
Yeah I know it is a really bad idea, I'm glad I'm being called out on it
Check your local library’s website to see what sorts of things they offer. Many regular activities and meetups are on hold due to Covid but we can still get free tickets to local museums and the like. It helps to be able to go in the middle of the week as weekend ones go quickly. We went to the museum of flight recently for free thanks to our library.
I didn't go free, but I loved the Museum of Flight!
Here's a story that builds on ysette9's excellent suggestion.
I nabbed two free tickets the same way to the Oakland Museum of CA and brought my most frugal friend. She loved it so much she became a docent there. She did so well she was invited to be a docent at SF MOMA. When the pandemic hit, her job became 100% WFH. She quarantined very strictly and still does. She decided to schedule some virtual museum tours on her lunch hour. She invited a few docent friends to join her via Zoom. It kind of snowballed. Docents from the presenting museums wanted to join this group. There are now 80 people on her evite list and she has done over 100 virtual tours from museums all over the US and as far away as Australia. She typically schedules them three times a week and is currently booking into October. There are usually 12-20 people on each call. She now logs in 15 minutes early so everyone can chit-chat before the program begins. We all feel like we've made new friends.
All because we got some free museum passes from the library...
I love this story, and reminds me of my own perception of life, I have always been amazed by how unexpected it is, and this is a perfect example of that.
have you thought about growing flowers? either outside if you have a garden or indoor plants. Its very soothing to get your hands in the dirt and to nurture plants through to flowering, very satisfying and so many different type of plants, start small. Its a living thing but not as expensive as a pet.
We have so many flowers and plants in our back and front yard but my FIL used to take care of those, he has now sadly passed away and we are keeping the garden as best as we can, but I could certainly put more effort into it.
+1 for fostering pets. Most organizations will pay for all expenses so there is nothing you need to spend other than your time. And it is sooooo rewarding. Yes, saying goodbye is difficult when they get adopted, but you get used to it. And then you can help save another pet :).
I will think about it, other people in this thread think I might be a bad owner, and so do I, lol
The need for connection and community is very human, and I don't think it is anti-mustachian to spend your money on something that makes you happy or fills a core need in your life.
Gyms can be good if they are community centered places where people interact and don't just work out next to each other. Along the same lines, classes that are focused on enjoying life and connecting with others (art, music, theater, dance) can be really helpful if you are isolated and needing connection. Classes that are required for completing certain degrees or certifications tend to be less helpful seen as people like to keep their heads down and get through them as quickly as possible.
If you like animals maybe volunteering with a rescue organization or advocacy club would be a good fit?
I will think about it, I have never been too much of a pet person, but I wouldn't mind trying to have my own little friend to look after. I saw some zumba classes at a close by gym, those looked like fun, I never dance anymore but used to love it.
Taking care of your health is mustachian - if that means spending a little money for something you enjoy (gym or a class), then it could very well be a good value.
1000% agree with needing friends outside of your husband - make this a priority. Two free things that I did when I found myself in a place with no local friends was to join a library-sponsored book club and a women's MeetUp group. Both opened up tons of socialization options, and I made a few really close friends.
If you are a runner, or interested in getting into running, it's pretty easy to join runner groups and make friends that way (at least in my area).
If money wasn't a concern, would you have a pet now? Pets can be expensive, but also bring lots of value to many people. You could try fostering pets or volunteering with a shelter if you didn't want to commit to adopting.
Also, there are usually many free/low cost activities and gyms around if $ is a concern. But, really, I would find something you want to do first and only then consider the expense.
Definitely take advantage of free trial classes to try to find something you would find worthy of spending money on.
Thank you, I joined a local Buy Nothing group and it feels like a really good community, I will look up other groups in my area.
Money isn't really a problem, but a few weeks ago our friend paid $300 to have her cat checked and I can't see myself spending that amount on a pet
I've learned that the culture of BN groups varies greatly by location. But my previous one (which has several unofficial spin-off groups so I can stay a part of the community via those) has all sorts of gatherings and activities. if yours doesn't, you can try to start one.
the local art non-profit just had a big art auction thing and since it was virtual, those from the group who were participating had an online group to chat about it. Now, after the auction, someone is hosting a group art sale. Everyone brings any unwanted art and puts a sticker with the price they want and their Venmo or similar info. Things like that really build community. There are also coffees and days in the park and workout groups and walking 'clubs', all via BN or an unofficial BN spin-off (which isn't subject to the sometimes very restrictive rules of BN, especially if your moderators are sticklers.) So just posting an "ask" for people to form a book club, or to meet in the park this Tuesday for a BYO picnic, or whatever, can be a great start.
It sounds like a pet is *DEFINITELY* not for you, which is fine, but please don't talk yourself into getting one if you aren't willing to spend a lot more than $300 on it. That doesn't mean you can't walk dogs for a local shelter, or foster pets for a local rescue group (usually all more at least most expenses are paid in that case). The groups near me are always begging for foster homes. Just make 100% certain you aren't going to be a "foster fail" who ends up not able to give up the pet after it has been in your home for a while, because it sounds like paying for all the possible needs of a pet isn't comfortable for you.
Yeah I haven't really seen any community activities other than giving things away, but I have also seen only nice comments in the group, I am feeling kinda numb the past few days to start my own thing yet but I used to be the go-to person in some fun activities at work, so maybe I will eventually want to start something. Thank you.
