Things that make me an adult:
Being married
Living away from parents
Doing my own cleaning/laundry
Being responsible for paying my bills
Grocery shopping, cooking my own meals
Having a full time job doing something besides food/retail
Making my own doctor/dentist appointments
Etc
Basically doing the things for myself that my mom was still doing for me when I was a teenager.
I would argue that a couple of the things in your list are not necessary to "be an adult." I'm 29, unmarried, and live with my parents to help as a caretaker when needed. I take care of my own responsibilities (like the other things on your list) plus a few of theirs, and I don't think things like housing and marital status help determine whether you are an adult or not. I think it's all about maturity. As a matter of fact, I often feel like I went straight from childhood to adulthood -- no "typical teenager" or "young, carefree twenty-something/college student" phases here. For well over a decade now, I've had more responsibility on my shoulders than most of my peers.
I also feel compelled to add:
Having been FT food retail at one point, and still working there part-time, I have to disagree with the underlying assumption you've made that a FT job in those industries would somehow disqualify someone from "being an adult." They are real jobs, with just as many challenges and rewards as any white collar position. Many people without the technical skills (or desire) to be in, for example, IT or engineering make highly successful and enjoyable careers out of them. It can also be highly lucrative in some cases. At my company, department managers and higher typically make at or above $60K a year when you include their bonuses. Store managers can easily gross $100K+.
I think I was more of an adult when I was 15 than when I was in college.
Maturity and responsibility. Not necessarily life-experience, but that helps a bit.
+1
It's certainly not a list of "Things That Make All People Into Adults". It's just a list of "Things That Make Kayla Feel Like An Adult".
Re Living Away From Parents: My parents are pretty codependent, my mother especially in a way that included doing everything for me all the time, and then resenting me for having to do it. If I hadn't moved away, I wouldn't be doing my own dishes, cooking my own meals, doing my own chores. That's not true for everyone, but that's why it makes me into an adult. It makes me vacuum, and helps fight depression.
Re Married: Once again, codependent parents - Being successfully married in a non-codependent relationship (psychologist approved!) is high on my list of successes. That doesn't mean that unmarried (or unattached) people aren't adults - just that being in a healthy relationship encourages
me to feel more confident and self sustaining.
Re Fast Food/Retail Jobs: This opinion may have to do with my age range. It comes it two parts: Ability to moderate your use of drugs/alcohol, and ability to pursue better opportunities ("get-to-it-iveness").
A number of my peers (ages 18-25) refuse to seek better jobs due to excessive use of marijuana or alcohol. People who would make great salesmen, electricians, bakers, college students... But don't, because their priorities aren't in line. Include here a handful of older adults (25-40) whom make the same complaint. "I
hate working here! Maybe I should stop smoking pot for a bit, so I can find another job..." And yet, there they stay.
I'd also like to specify that I'm talking about low level or entry level positions - Cashier, Head Cashier, Associate, Crew, Shift Manager. The kind of person who has the gumption to pursue a department management or store management position is not really what I'm picturing when I'm picturing retail. I'm picturing a 24/7 stoned cart pusher at Sam's Club, such as those my DH used to work alongside.
Even then,
RE Department Managers: SIL currently makes about $10.25/hr - She's been working for McDonalds for 11+ years, and is a department manager in her store; it's not a job she enjoys or an environment that fosters her. Is she not an adult for working at McDonalds? No, she's certainly an adult. She's in her 30's, she even has a kid. Is she giving herself the shaft for not seeking a better job, when she certainly has the desire, skills and intelligence to do so? Absolutely.
Hopefully that's a little more clear... Didn't meant to insult anyone. :0
