Starting a Career Dilemma

[Cwadda]

Removed.

[MDM]

Could the company your BIL is starting use an office in the south or midwest?  You did say "the opportunity at hand would lock me into living where I am" - just asking if there is a creative way around that...?

[TerriM]

1. Do you need to leave school to work with his company?  If so, given your doubts, I'd finish your degree.  If he's still going strong in a year, you can still come on board while the company is small, reap the benefits of being an early staff member (i.e., stock if it goes public) without  worrying about finishing the degree.  The problem is that if you jump now before finishing the degree, if things work out, you will just keep on putting off the degree, and eventually credits expire, curriculums are changed, and it can be harder to fulfill the requirements. You only have a year left which is great.

Another option is to see if you can work through the summer and then fall for his company and get some sort of internships credits, and then finish in spring with remaining classwork--this would depend on what you have left to do. Or do thesis work at his company in Spring. 

2.  Only you know your relationship with your BIL.  If you think it'll work, great.  If it'll mean you never showing your face at a family reunion if things go sour, think hard and long about it.

3.  I hate the NE as well, but if an opportunity were good enough (like being a co-founder at a major company), I'd go ahead and stay.  I know it feels like shooting yourself in the foot, but ten years from now, you could move and retire or move and get any job you want, and you won't have regrets.  If you move somewhere now and get a mediocre job, you will have regrets.  The thing that ties you down is marriage and kids, not a job. 

For 15 years I thought I'd be leaving Boston.  By the time I left, I'd pretty much gotten settled.  Now I'm glad I left, and I have a lot of regrets from being there, but if I'd had a super opportunity to be a founder at a great company, I wouldn't have regrets, I just wouldn't miss the weather.

[TerriM]

PS:  Where does your SO want to settle?  If you get married and have kids, you/your SO will be the one who chooses most where you eventually settle.  So if they have family in the NE, you may already be pointing towards staying or even returning.  If both of you are excited to leave, you'll be more likely to do so.

[GizmoTX]

Finish your degrees. There will never be an easier time, & completing them is important.

Generally mixing business with family is not a good idea. Compounding this risk with the considerable risk of a new startup is not where I'd want to be, let alone starting a career. A "founder" is one who actually starts & runs a business; in your case, it sounds like an ego boost. An intern, however successful, is still a beginner.

The best time to relocate is when you are starting your career after your graduation. Pick a successful company to do what you studied for in a place that offers you excellent quality of life -- this is your post-graduate education. Save the startup for later when you have more experience. You can always move back to the NE if you find you miss it.

My DH & I moved to Texas from Illinois after graduation decades ago & will never move back. After working for large companies, we have each founded (separate) businesses & run them successfully. 

[Cwadda]

Could the company your BIL is starting use an office in the south or midwest?  You did say "the opportunity at hand would lock me into living where I am" - just asking if there is a creative way around that...?

Good idea that I didn't consider, but the nature of the work is state specific because it is regulatory work.

1. Do you need to leave school to work with his company?  If so, given your doubts, I'd finish your degree.  If he's still going strong in a year, you can still come on board while the company is small, reap the benefits of being an early staff member (i.e., stock if it goes public) without  worrying about finishing the degree.  The problem is that if you jump now before finishing the degree, if things work out, you will just keep on putting off the degree, and eventually credits expire, curriculums are changed, and it can be harder to fulfill the requirements. You only have a year left which is great.

Another option is to see if you can work through the summer and then fall for his company and get some sort of internships credits, and then finish in spring with remaining classwork--this would depend on what you have left to do. Or do thesis work at his company in Spring. 

2.  Only you know your relationship with your BIL.  If you think it'll work, great.  If it'll mean you never showing your face at a family reunion if things go sour, think hard and long about it.

3.  I hate the NE as well, but if an opportunity were good enough (like being a co-founder at a major company), I'd go ahead and stay.  I know it feels like shooting yourself in the foot, but ten years from now, you could move and retire or move and get any job you want, and you won't have regrets.  If you move somewhere now and get a mediocre job, you will have regrets.  The thing that ties you down is marriage and kids, not a job. 

For 15 years I thought I'd be leaving Boston.  By the time I left, I'd pretty much gotten settled.  Now I'm glad I left, and I have a lot of regrets from being there, but if I'd had a super opportunity to be a founder at a great company, I wouldn't have regrets, I just wouldn't miss the weather.

1. No, it doesn't require me to get out of school. I am finishing school and then getting a Master's afterward. This is a private company that will never reach a public level. It's not the right type of industry. The current size is just 30 employees.
2. Good angle. I think my BIL will be accepting of any decision I make.
3. I know the company will not turn major, and by that I mean stock shares, private investors, national, etc. Would it still be worth staying if there are other job prospects out there?

PS:  Where does your SO want to settle?  If you get married and have kids, you/your SO will be the one who chooses most where you eventually settle.  So if they have family in the NE, you may already be pointing towards staying or even returning.  If both of you are excited to leave, you'll be more likely to do so.

S/O has all of family in NE but has no intent on staying. She wants to do her grad school in a different part of the country.

Finish your degrees. There will never be an easier time, & completing them is important.

Generally mixing business with family is not a good idea. Compounding this risk with the considerable risk of a new startup is not where I'd want to be, let alone starting a career. A "founder" is one who actually starts & runs a business; in your case, it sounds like an ego boost. An intern, however successful, is still a beginner.

The best time to relocate is when you are starting your career after your graduation. Pick a successful company to do what you studied for in a place that offers you excellent quality of life -- this is your post-graduate education. Save the startup for later when you have more experience. You can always move back to the NE if you find you miss it.

My DH & I moved to Texas from Illinois after graduation decades ago & will never move back. After working for large companies, we have each founded (separate) businesses & run them successfully. 

I never imagined starting up a business. I wouldn't mind just working for a place either. The experience is a good point.
I hear Texas is beautiful. Definitely on my list of places I'd love to visit and check out.