A thing to note: You can always change the way you handle joint finances. It may take a little doing to switch things around, but if the way finances being run isn't working for your relationship you can always try a different way.
When my DH and I first got married we still had separate-ish finances. We each had our own accounts, but the other had access. This really didn't work for us. He was primary on the credit card (linked to his accounts) and I never remembered to check the balance (because I didn't use it). Unfortunately, the only interest in money/budgeting my husband had was making sure he didn't spend more than we had. He is also a "stress shopper"; rough day at work? buy something, bad news about moms health? buy something. And every month it would be the same, I would have to take the money set aside to go into savings and pay off the credit card. We were always able to pay it off, and didn't pay any interest but we weren't really saving anything. So then we completely joined, one checking, one saving, one joint credit card. Which made it much easier for me to track everything we were spending, and cut back on certain areas. However, my husbands limited interest in money/budgeting plummeted to zero. We started saving more, but we also had way more fights. Because " we have the money, why won't you let me buy this thing that will make me happy?" Eventually, he quit his stressful job and I paid all the bills (including gas for his car) gave him a monthly stipend (in cash) for dining out and any of his wants. This also didn't work. So now he has his own checking acct, that I transfer money into every month, he pays for his own gas and he can only spend money from the joint acct with prior approval from me.