Author Topic: How do I stop wasting money at bars?  (Read 37934 times)

Dianas Report

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #50 on: March 23, 2013, 11:28:04 PM »
DebtDerp, you are making some great changes! Way to Go!

I recently read a new bestseller on "Habits" and it explains step by step how to identify cues and rewards, etc. Have you thought about just getting together with friends homes. For instance, rotate the home every month, so that it's not a burden to the same friend over and over. Play some fun games together, while listening to your favorite music and bringing your own drinks & appetizers. I find that those times are more fun and relaxing to my friends than actually going out somewhere and trying to find parking, dealing with unpleasant people or unintentionally sending out the wrong messages. 

Question: Are you really only going to bars to see your friends or everyone who happens to create the atmosphere you are attracted too (like girls)?

SwordGuy

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #51 on: March 25, 2013, 07:36:02 PM »

I guess I should address this as others seem to have the impression that I go out to drink to get drunk. This is not the case at all! I am strictly a social drinker. In fact the last time I had a drink in my apartment was about six weeks ago. I do get drunk from time to time when I go out with friends but I don't get wasted drunk.

I know my limits and I am in control of myself. I did the crazy binge drinking thing in college and I will never do that again. Those days are behind me. I really meant it when I said I only go out drinking a couple times a month. This is not a weekly or nightly thing. I may have six or seven (sometimes more) drinks when I go out but these are spread out over several hours.

I enjoy drinking with my friends but I am in no way a heavy drinker as some may define it. Just wanted to clear the air.

Permission to be blunt, sir?

Honestly, it sounds like a drinking problem to me.  And not just me.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100601112400AA7y3tc

Do with the information what you will, and God bless.

PS - the best way to stop wasting money in bars is to shack up with a sweetheart, one you can't live without, who doesn't like hanging out in bars. 

PPS - you won't find that kind if sweetheart in a bar...

Kriegsspiel

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #52 on: March 25, 2013, 08:14:40 PM »

I guess I should address this as others seem to have the impression that I go out to drink to get drunk. This is not the case at all! I am strictly a social drinker. In fact the last time I had a drink in my apartment was about six weeks ago. I do get drunk from time to time when I go out with friends but I don't get wasted drunk.

I know my limits and I am in control of myself. I did the crazy binge drinking thing in college and I will never do that again. Those days are behind me. I really meant it when I said I only go out drinking a couple times a month. This is not a weekly or nightly thing. I may have six or seven (sometimes more) drinks when I go out but these are spread out over several hours.

I enjoy drinking with my friends but I am in no way a heavy drinker as some may define it. Just wanted to clear the air.

Permission to be blunt, sir?

Honestly, it sounds like a drinking problem to me.  And not just me.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100601112400AA7y3tc

Do with the information what you will, and God bless.

PS - the best way to stop wasting money in bars is to shack up with a sweetheart, one you can't live without, who doesn't like hanging out in bars. 

PPS - you won't find that kind if sweetheart in a bar...

LOL... c'mon guys.

tylerherman

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #53 on: March 25, 2013, 08:33:03 PM »
When I was in college I used to beer bong 5-6 beers, then take a quick shot at the door before heading out for the night. Preferably Naty/Keystone Light and a shot of something nasty like gin or cheap tequila. Its cheap and anything you buy at the bar will taste better, even if its just a Budweiser.

At this point you've got a little buzz going and your stomaches a little full so you don't need to drink those first 3-4 expensive bar beers so quickly (or at all). And hopefully you can just sip one or two for a while.





GoStumpy

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #54 on: March 25, 2013, 08:35:14 PM »
lol.

I don't think 'alcoholic' is the right term...

'beer connoisseur' sounds better to me :)

c

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #55 on: March 25, 2013, 08:58:57 PM »
Let me know when you find the answer ;)

DebtDerp

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #56 on: March 25, 2013, 11:16:00 PM »
Permission to be blunt, sir?

Honestly, it sounds like a drinking problem to me.  And not just me.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100601112400AA7y3tc

Do with the information what you will, and God bless.

PS - the best way to stop wasting money in bars is to shack up with a sweetheart, one you can't live without, who doesn't like hanging out in bars. 

PPS - you won't find that kind if sweetheart in a bar...

HAHA, not sure that would save me any money but thanks for the suggestion.

GoStumpy

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #57 on: March 25, 2013, 11:32:20 PM »
Yeah, I don't really take advice from yahoo answers ;)

3-5 tasty beers once a week is not 'binge drinking', it's setting aside a night per week to drink beer after beer :)

DebtDerp

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #58 on: March 25, 2013, 11:41:03 PM »
Yeah, I don't really take advice from yahoo answers ;)

3-5 tasty beers once a week is not 'binge drinking', it's setting aside a night per week to drink beer after beer :)

Love it, but I was referring to shacking up with a sweetheart as not being the smartest decision on the pocket book ;)

kevinasher

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #59 on: March 26, 2013, 12:21:12 AM »
However, there is one habit that I seem unable to change. I still spend way too much money when I head out to the bars with friends. Two or three times a month my friends and I get together and I will easily drop $50, $60, or $70 on food and beverages. This past Saturday my tab came to a Benjamin.

So I know my trigger point is going to the bars with friends. I order a beer and then another, and then another. Before you know it Iím getting food as well. Then we head to another bar and I order a pitcher, round of drinks, more food, etc. I rationalize this by telling myself that I deserve to have a good night out.

I think I found the problem.  If you've already did some heavy thinking on the alcoholism angle and ruled it out, it's a perceptions problem.  I highlighted the words that stood out to me in your initial post, and didn't read much from there.  You're rationalizing.  You said it yourself.  Rationalizing means that you've got a notion that it might be bad or counterproductive for you, but you've convinced yourself that you're not harming yourself as badly as you are by doing it, whatever IT is.  In this case, you're drinking and eating out at the bar.  Is it fun?  Sometimes, sure.  Do you need it every weekend?  Probably not.  I'm not really gonna wrestle too much with the part about whether you deserve to have a fun time or not, because I'm not retired yet myself and there's room for me to improve on that exact same issue myself, but the question you can ask yourself is "do I need to go to the bar to have a good night with the boys?"  I doubt that, on your deathbed years down the road you'll regret not going to the bar every weekend with the buds.  Thinking about it in that context may help you defeat that sense of being unable to change this.  Change your mindset about what the bar does for you, and you change your mindset about being powerless to change yourself to rid yourself of it.

Fletch

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #60 on: March 26, 2013, 10:19:43 AM »
What has been working for me recently is I stop after the first bar. My friends have a similar pattern of starting at happy hour, snacking, drinking more, and inevitably someone brings up a game they want to watch, or a coworkers party, or they want to go dancing, or whatever. So we dutifully all get in a cab, usually to go across town, and by that point all self control was lost.

If you can view at least some of your nights as 'one bar only' nights, you cut the cost of the night in half by spending less time out (if you start at 6pm and don't get home til 2 in the morning, even at a non-alcoholic pace of 1 drink/hour will end up with you drunk and broke). Once I broke the habit loop of hopping around town by going home in the bar transition, which was easy because I had the excuse of needing to let my dog out, I am typically home a little bit before midnight. By getting home at midnight I reclaimed my weekends because I don't need to sleep until noon, and I still get the fun of going out and seeing my friends regularly.

AJ

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #61 on: March 26, 2013, 10:55:42 AM »
Permission to be blunt, sir?

Honestly, it sounds like a drinking problem to me.  And not just me.

Umm...just, wow. Having worked with a number of addicts, and helping my mother through numerous attempts to get sober, including inpatient rehab, I can tell you that NOTHING DebtDerp has said indicates alcoholism. Alcoholics don't have a few beers twice a month at the bar. It always amazes me the skewed perception some people have regarding alcohol and addiction. Alcoholism is a very serious disease, and throwing the term around on people that are clearly social drinkers trivializes the issue. </rant>

DebtDerp

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #62 on: March 26, 2013, 01:44:34 PM »
Permission to be blunt, sir?

Honestly, it sounds like a drinking problem to me.  And not just me.

Umm...just, wow. Having worked with a number of addicts, and helping my mother through numerous attempts to get sober, including inpatient rehab, I can tell you that NOTHING DebtDerp has said indicates alcoholism. Alcoholics don't have a few beers twice a month at the bar. It always amazes me the skewed perception some people have regarding alcohol and addiction. Alcoholism is a very serious disease, and throwing the term around on people that are clearly social drinkers trivializes the issue. </rant>

Thanks for clarifying that I'm not an alcoholic ;) but I'm pretty sure SwordGuy was being sarcastic hence the link to Yahoo Answers.

Freda

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #63 on: March 27, 2013, 11:06:29 AM »
All I can tell ya is what works for me.  Since I sing and play music, I go to open mic about every other Tuesday night and that's also my time with my girlfriends.  I bring twenty bucks in cash.  I eat a big late lunch at work, then at the bar I get a pitcher of rootbeer and a basket of chips and tip my waiter.   That's it, no more dough.

I go home between 10 and 10:30, as people only get drunker/stupider after that and I have to keep my sleep schedule on track or I get all jacked up.

A couple of my friends have started drinking rootbeer with me, and having booze-free or reduced-booze evenings.  It's nice. :D  And everyone knows my routine after so long, so no one tries to buy me drinks or anything.  (I stopped drinking alcohol about a year ago.)

jpo

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #64 on: March 27, 2013, 11:23:54 AM »
It seems like most of OP's post could be answered by the MMM classic: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/02/13/understand-the-marginal-utility-of-booze-and-drugs/

Have a few beers, then switch to water. At $1 tip/glass, you're still saving quite a bit while getting the benefits of buzzing with your buddies.

grantmeaname

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #65 on: March 27, 2013, 01:04:33 PM »
Love it, but I was referring to shacking up with a sweetheart as not being the smartest decision on the pocket book ;)
My sweetheart saves me $75/month in rent, grocery shops, coupons, makes laundry detergent from scratch, and trims a giant costco steak with the best of 'em. If you spend more money on your woman than she saves you, and you're serious about this mustache thing, she may not be the one.

Back on topic: What about packing lunch and dinner to work on the nights you're going out, then ordering less food?

kisserofsinners

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #66 on: March 27, 2013, 02:02:23 PM »
Permission to be blunt, sir?

Honestly, it sounds like a drinking problem to me.  And not just me.

Umm...just, wow. Having worked with a number of addicts, and helping my mother through numerous attempts to get sober, including inpatient rehab, I can tell you that NOTHING DebtDerp has said indicates alcoholism. Alcoholics don't have a few beers twice a month at the bar. It always amazes me the skewed perception some people have regarding alcohol and addiction. Alcoholism is a very serious disease, and throwing the term around on people that are clearly social drinkers trivializes the issue. </rant>

Thanks for clarifying that I'm not an alcoholic ;) but I'm pretty sure SwordGuy was being sarcastic hence the link to Yahoo Answers.

The info thrown around that Yahoo "answer" is pretty common stuff. It sounded serious to me, if perhaps mis-guided. I've always found it entertaining listening to what people think is safe, acceptable, or self destructive. It's this amorphous pile of judgement that gets thrown around in very unhelpful ways. Ironic as the people spreading it want so very much to be helpful.

What's more helpful to me is thinking about cause and effect VS labels.

There are two types of people both labeled as "Alcoholics" there's people like my Dad and I assume AJ's Mom who really struggle with substances. He drank wine and my step mother had no idea how much he was drinking because he was hiding the empties behind a work shed she never went into. The change from drunk dad to sober dad makes me so happy i weep. It's amazing. Alcoholics are able to maintain very little self control or reflection. Being here on this forum and asking this question would except you from that label in my book.

The other group of people that get saddled with the same label are functional alcoholics. There are plenty of people who would assume I'm a functional alcoholic, but there's not always separated on yahoo queries. I feel like the accusation is about functional alcoholism. Not really as bad. Maybe not great, but not even close to an agreement about what that even means. I don't think it's about full on alcoholism as stated. More a mention of the "slippery slope" so popular online.

C40

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #67 on: March 27, 2013, 09:45:31 PM »
1 - Flask
2 - Drink Less
3 - Grow some balls


BlueMR2

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #68 on: March 28, 2013, 07:13:24 AM »
If you're going out and doing things you don't want to (spending lots of money) to keep your friends happy, well, they won't be your friends for a whole lot longer.  Sounds like you're starting down the road towards losing those friends.  Time to start looking for some new ones that are a better fit for the "you" that you want to be.

It's normal.  I've been through a number of sets of friends in my life.

DebtDerp

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #69 on: March 30, 2013, 11:39:58 AM »
Check out my frugality muscle: Only spent five bucks at the bar last night.

I had one beer and two glasses of water (granted we were only out for about two hours). Still pretty great though!


arebelspy

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #70 on: March 30, 2013, 12:53:04 PM »
That's progress!

Sometimes it will be less, sometimes more.  But when you reset your "baseline" to lower, you'll average much less, and when you spend more than your new average, it'll feel lavish (even though a few months before it would have felt frugal).

Way to go.

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savingtofreedom

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #71 on: March 30, 2013, 05:32:41 PM »
Good for you Debt Derp!

My husband plays basketball/soccer a couple of times a week and will then go out with the guys sometimes to the bar.   While he has never been a big drinker even 10 -20 dollars in alcohol in my book is a lot of money.  I try to remind him now to be mustachian before he goes out and he can typically get 2 beers for $5 - $6 dollars.

You do have to flex that frugality muscle but the other good thing is you are reducing the amount of empty calories you take in and decreasing the likelihood of a DUI if you drive.


GoStumpy

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #72 on: March 30, 2013, 09:11:01 PM »
I completely agree with Arebelspy... Once you've lowered the 'normal', spending $30 will feel like a really expensive night... $10-$20 will feel like a good night out... and under $10 is a cheap night :)

The trick as always is not to get a meal at the pub!  If you need something to much on, I suggest a side of fries, or a side of anything... they're usually $4.95 which is better than $9.95 for a meal when you don't need one!

mm1970

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #73 on: March 31, 2013, 01:26:55 PM »
Totally Mrs. MM took my answers.

1.  Drink water between beers.  I used to do this because I'm a lightweight.  Also I don't like being drunk nor having a hangover.  Especially now that I have kids, but even before.

2.  Take cash and no credit cards.  Set your limit.

3.  Have a beer before you go.

4.  Eat before you go.  Something substantial and delicious so you won't be tempted.

Seriously drinking that much beer regularly is NOT good for you.

kisserofsinners

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #74 on: April 01, 2013, 10:46:12 AM »
Check out my frugality muscle: Only spent five bucks at the bar last night.

Fuck Yea!!! Indeed. High5!

Ambition89

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #75 on: April 08, 2014, 10:04:56 PM »
Flask

marty998

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Re: How do I stop wasting money at bars?
« Reply #76 on: April 09, 2014, 03:03:02 AM »
necro zombie thread!