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Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: secondcor521 on December 18, 2020, 01:01:45 AM

Title: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: secondcor521 on December 18, 2020, 01:01:45 AM
Hi all.

Next thing on the list.

You've heard people talk about their superpower is such-and-such.  My kryptonite is my ability to pick out a good bed.

The last time I bought a bed (5/2019 per Quicken) I went to two different mattress stores, told the salespeople the kind of mattress I thought I liked, then tried out about three to five mattresses in each store for 15 minutes at a time.  I did A-B comparisons and narrowed it down to the one I liked the best, then confirmed that one by trying it several times.

Bought it, got it home, and have had back pain ever since.  Too late to trade in, obviously.

The time before that, I went to one mattress store, tried out several, bought one, but that time I was also considering price.  Bought one, got it home, that one was not too bad actually.  Slept on that one for a number of years.

The only thing I know is that I generally like the beds in the hotels I stay in, which are usually midrange hotels like Marriott or Hyatt.  They seem to be fairly firm and usually have good sheets with comforters and pillows that you can shape.

OK, so what is the trick that I am missing?

Is it trying more mattresses?  I thought the one in the store felt comfortable.  Really comfortable.

Is it paying more?

Laying on them longer?

Getting more advice from a salesperson?

Getting a brand with a good reputation?

Buying a mattress from a hotel?  (I've seriously thought about this.)

I don't really need mattress recommendations - I know there's people out there who like Purple, and Sleep Number, and all the different brands.  I have not seen much to suggest that the mattresses other people like are ones that I'll like.

What I need is recommendations for *how* to buy a mattress.

Thanks.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Dicey on December 18, 2020, 01:12:55 AM
Going to follow along. We bought a high-ish quality foam mattress via Next Door. DH likes it, but for me it is too damn hot and my back always hurts when I get out of bed. I can use the same advice.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: BDWW on December 18, 2020, 02:00:01 AM
My anecdotal observations are that most people go far to soft. Too soft = back pain. Go 1 step or better 2 steps firmer than you think you want.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: MudPuppy on December 18, 2020, 02:06:20 AM
I think a firmer mattress is important, too. You can always add a squishy topper if you find in a couple months that itís still too firm (since foam mattresses, my preference, soften over time) but if itís too soft there is no fix. You only get one back and you have to be good to it! We have the firmest foam one by the brand and it has temp regulation gel stuff dispersed in it so it avoids to ďtoo hotĒ problem many people complain of with foam.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Roadrunner53 on December 18, 2020, 02:29:54 AM
I would like to know this information too. I used to go to Marriott's and high end hotels and those mattresses were fantastic! I always wondered how to buy them. Like sleeping on a cloud!

We have gone the whole route of mattresses and the one we have now I hate. Back in the day we had a 'normal' mattress and was probably cheap because we were newly married. Then we went to a water bed and I did love that for years. We sprung a leak and got a new one to replace it but it sprung a leak too very shortly after we installed it. The hub flipped out so we bought a mattress and it was horrid. Then we bought a Tempur-Pedic and it was great but we got really hot and then the mattress had ditches in it where we slept. Which meant we would roll into the ditches and then it was totally uncomfortable. Then we bought some brand of mattress that came in a box. That was good for a short while and it got ditches in it too and was hot. We bought another bed in a box thru Costco and same story, after a while ditches so we got rid of that. Now we have a Sealy mattress and it is a bit firm and was SUPER, SUPER expensive. Within one year my back was bothering me so I got a Tempur-Pedic topper for it. I still hate the mattress and would throw it in the dumpster if could. It also has formed ditches. So far, as long as I get in bed and fall asleep I am able to somewhat deal with it but OMG, I hate this bed too.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: cool7hand on December 18, 2020, 04:25:17 AM
Definitely lay on the mattress for a long time. Until you are completely relaxed. Then wait longer. And sadly, this is a purchase where I've never found a way to save money buying second hand. It's just too gross for us.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on December 18, 2020, 04:58:08 AM
First, you can just ask the hotel what kind of mattress they buy.

Second, you can often buy brand new mattresses from hotels for a discount when they have surplus to get rid of.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Eowynd on December 18, 2020, 05:06:16 AM
Have you tried a latex foam mattress?  In my experience, they are firm without being uncomfortable.  You have different firmness options to choose from as well.  I bought one from Savvy Rest in 2013 and it is still going strong.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: BlueHouse on December 18, 2020, 06:48:21 AM
I had the same problem and I am now on my 5th mattress in 8 years.  I'm very happy now. 

I realized that the best I've ever slept was on thin camping mats on hard ground.  So I went for the firmest mattress and bought the old-fashioned (medical grade) egg-crate type of foam topper.  (NOT memory foam).  The egg crate topper seems to have some magical properties for me and my joints.  I love them, but they're harder to find now that memory foam is so popular. 

I can now report that when I slip into bed, I smile and let out a big "Ahhhhh" because it feels so good.  When I wake up in the middle of the night, I often think "Oh, I love my bed".  It's that much of a difference! 
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on December 18, 2020, 07:18:52 AM
Oh, I also wanted to note that I can't not read this thread title as "how do I get good in bed"

That is all.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: MudPuppy on December 18, 2020, 07:29:38 AM
So glad Iím not the only one!
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: GuitarStv on December 18, 2020, 07:30:07 AM
Beds are a scam.

Your back will feel much better if you just lay a thin (1-2 cm) camping type pad on the floor (if you have carpet you can skip the pad entirely).  Humans weren't designed to sleep on soft surfaces, and beds only cause problems.  There's an adjustment period, but once you get used to it you'll never go back.

If you absolutely have to buy a bed for some weird reason, get the hardest bed possible.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: yachi on December 18, 2020, 09:47:16 AM
Next time you're at a hotel, try removing the fitted sheet.  The mattress might very well have a label from the manufacturer.  I stayed at a hotel once that had marketing material in the room for the bed and pillows they used in case you liked it enough to buy for yourself.  I actually did not like that mattress much - it had an unexpected foam top that made it hot to sleep in.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: lhamo on December 18, 2020, 10:23:23 AM
Many of the hotel brands have already recognized this as a marketing opportunity, including Marriot:

https://www.shopmarriott.com/product.aspx?Foam-Mattress-Box-Spring-Set

When we were in Beijing a few times people in the expat community got together to place a bulk order at a discount.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: mozar on December 18, 2020, 11:30:29 AM
I bought a piece of foam from foambymail.com for 90 bucks and put a mattress topper on it. It's the best I've ever slept.

There are lots of videos online on how to diy your own bed. It's shockingly easy. You could experiment with different layers and even use different mattress toppers for different sides of the bed. So easy!

I agree that its better to sleep on a pad on a floor but no thanks. I'm too bougie for that.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: TrMama on December 18, 2020, 11:52:45 AM
Last time I bought a mattress I used this site to help me figure out what I wanted, https://www.sleeplikethedead.com/mattress-selector.html. I didn't end up buying a mattress from the site, but it did help me figure things out.

When you try mattresses at a store remember that they're already "broken in" from all the people who come in to try them. The mattress you order will be brand new and will therefore feel much firmer. The mattress I have now is like a concrete block. It's not nearly as soft as the one I tried in the shop. So I just bought a topper for it and it's fine. The topper itself is actually getting a bit worn and I'll probably replace it this year, but that'll be way cheaper than replacing the entire mattress (which looks and feels like new because it's been protected by the topper).
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: secondcor521 on December 18, 2020, 01:14:44 PM
Thanks all.

I've tried a foam topper on this mattress - it made it worse for me.

I think I may take more seriously the idea of buying a hotel mattress somehow.  Maybe not one that was actually in one of the rooms, but the same make/model from a hotel I know I like.

I wonder why the hotel mattresses usually are good for me.  Higher quality than what I have?

I notice a common thread of firmer mattresses are usually better.  I almost bought an "extra firm" mattress once but the store didn't actually have one and they said it was non-returnable because they're not a high volume item.  I think I do need a firmer one as that seems to be the common thread among the mattresses I like.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on December 18, 2020, 01:21:42 PM
Thanks all.

I've tried a foam topper on this mattress - it made it worse for me.

I think I may take more seriously the idea of buying a hotel mattress somehow.  Maybe not one that was actually in one of the rooms, but the same make/model from a hotel I know I like.

I wonder why the hotel mattresses usually are good for me.  Higher quality than what I have?

I notice a common thread of firmer mattresses are usually better.  I almost bought an "extra firm" mattress once but the store didn't actually have one and they said it was non-returnable because they're not a high volume item.  I think I do need a firmer one as that seems to be the common thread among the mattresses I like.

You can't buy a used mattress directly from hotel chains, that's not a thing and not what any of us are talking about, lol. They sell brand new mattresses, either because they have too many because they buy them in massive bulk, or because they've decided to get in the business of selling mattresses because there's demand.

ETA: hotels do sell their used mattresses, but not to the public.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: SunnyDays on December 18, 2020, 03:21:32 PM
I love a firm mattress too.  Iíve always bought Simmons Beauty Rest and they work well for me.  They have models in stores that are half firm and half regular, so it makes it easy to feel the difference.  A tight top mattress is also going to be firmer than a pillow top.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: jamesbond007 on December 18, 2020, 03:26:06 PM
We sleep on the floor. Great sleep night after night. Can't go wrong.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on December 18, 2020, 03:54:19 PM
Not everyone can sleep on the floor, but yes, more people can than most people realize.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Treb3 on December 18, 2020, 07:34:04 PM
I was having back pain due to some non-bed related issues. My bed had a luxurious, soft mattress that I bought in 2015. I used to wake up in the morning with back pain. Due to the back pain, I found myself getting out of bed some nights and sleeping on the floor for a few hours until it got too hard and woke me up. In my guest room, I had a 30 year old hand me down mattress that I slept on for a time as a kid. Old, but still firm and decently soft. Not a pretty mattress at all. That switch alone MADE SUCH A DIFFERENCE. (I also do yoga, use a foam roller, etc.)

So funny that a 30-year-old standard mattress is making my back feel so much better than a 5-year-old deluxe one did.

Iím with the others about trying a firm mattress.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: red_pill on December 18, 2020, 07:53:04 PM
Have you tried a latex foam mattress?  In my experience, they are firm without being uncomfortable.  You have different firmness options to choose from as well.  I bought one from Savvy Rest in 2013 and it is still going strong.

I can confirm this.  We love ours and they last forever.  Like 20+ years from what I have read.  Expensive, but buy once, cry once.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: AccidentialMustache on December 18, 2020, 11:04:45 PM
On the "try something firmer" line -- OP have you slept on a futon? I used to do that in high school/college/grad school. Bunk futon = storage up top, nice firm yet thick probably-cotton mattress so you didn't feel the frame. If you flop onto it, you'd better approach the fall like the floor, because it isn't gonna give.

See if you can borrow one from a friend and try it on the floor.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: secondcor521 on December 18, 2020, 11:40:36 PM
^ I haven't.  We used to own a futon but got rid of it somewhere along the way.  I'm not sure I recall whether it was comfortable or not.

I did stop by a bed store today.  One potential realization is that the box spring I'm using is from two mattresses ago and is probably a super cheap box spring.  That might explain why the current mattress doesn't feel like it did in the store.  It also might explain my back pain and poor sleep.

I'm trying an experiment suggested by the mattress salesguy -- put cardboard between the mattress and box spring.  My box spring has some sort of large grid wire mesh thing and is not a solid support.  Who knows if this is a good idea or just some sales trick, but it's easy and fast to try.

When I said I wanted firm and not memory foam, the guy pointed out about four options, so I'll go back sometime soon and try those out.  He also claimed that softer might be better, that I might like an adjustable base (not really), and a couple of other things that, now that I think about it, probably means he's not someone I should expect to truly help me get a good mattress.  I probably did not do myself any favors by saying "Not really concerned about price".  Live and learn.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on December 19, 2020, 02:46:51 PM
Oh, I also wanted to note that I can't not read this thread title as "how do I get good in bed"

That is all.

So glad Iím not the only one!

+1
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: FIFoFum on December 19, 2020, 04:42:52 PM
I've purchased latex layers that come in different firmness & that can be rearranged to change the overall firmness of the mattress. This has worked well for me for 10+ years.

I used https://sleepez.com. They have a 90 day trial period where you can exchange layer or return for a shipping fee. They also will talk to you in advance about your preferences to help figure out which configuration is likely to be best, because they don't want you to have to return either.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: TrMama on December 20, 2020, 10:50:18 AM
Since you mention the box spring, I'll add one more caveat. It's not uncommon for them to break, usually in the centre. This causes the mattress to sag and will give you wicked back pain. It's not totally obvious until you take the mattress off. It's also why you shouldn't jump on the bed. To check, take the mattress off and examine the top of the box spring. Also check the frame underneath to make sure it's still supporting things too. If you're not sure about the box spring, get some kind of long straight edge and lay it on top. There shouldn't be any dent between the edge and the box spring. You can do the same check on the mattress to check for wear too.

IME spending more on a box spring doesn't get you a sturdier or longer lasting product. We skip them and go with a very sturdy bed frame.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: RedmondStash on December 20, 2020, 04:43:08 PM
I bought a piece of foam from foambymail.com for 90 bucks and put a mattress topper on it. It's the best I've ever slept.

There are lots of videos online on how to diy your own bed. It's shockingly easy. You could experiment with different layers and even use different mattress toppers for different sides of the bed. So easy!

I agree that its better to sleep on a pad on a floor but no thanks. I'm too bougie for that.

@mozar, may I ask what piece of foam you bought? I'm thinking about going a similar DIY route and am looking for recommendations for a good firm foam base. Thanks.

The best I've slept in years was when I flipped over my saggy bed-in-a-box and put a 2-inch memory foam topper on what had been the base. If it had lasted, it would've been great. I'd like to replicate that experience with a better foam base.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: RedmondStash on December 20, 2020, 04:44:11 PM
Also, if anyone else is interested, I started a mattress-related thread today before someone pointed me toward this one.

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/do-it-yourself-forum!/has-anyone-made-a-diy-foam-mattress
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: jac941 on December 23, 2020, 08:11:24 AM
We have a firm synthetic latex foam mattress. We got it 6-7 yrs ago I think. It is extremely comfortable and nowhere near needing replacement. Our friendís 70 yr old parents stayed at our place while we were out of town a few years ago, and they still talk about how comfortable the bed was. A side bonus is that it doesnít transfer movement so if my spouse moves, I canít feel it across the mattress - great for light sleepers. It was expensive, but it has been worth every penny.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: socaso on December 23, 2020, 03:32:44 PM
We bought our last mattress 5 years ago and have been very happy with it. We went to 3-4 stores trying mattresses and ended up choosing one from a store that had a satisfaction guarantee and return policy. I don't remember the exact parameters of the policy, I think it was 3 months. I set a reminder on my phone a week before it was due to run out to remind myself in case I wanted to return it. So I'd say look for a generous return policy and set a reminder.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: MilesTeg on December 23, 2020, 10:35:41 PM
Hi all.

Next thing on the list.

You've heard people talk about their superpower is such-and-such.  My kryptonite is my ability to pick out a good bed.

The last time I bought a bed (5/2019 per Quicken) I went to two different mattress stores, told the salespeople the kind of mattress I thought I liked, then tried out about three to five mattresses in each store for 15 minutes at a time.  I did A-B comparisons and narrowed it down to the one I liked the best, then confirmed that one by trying it several times.

Bought it, got it home, and have had back pain ever since.  Too late to trade in, obviously.

The time before that, I went to one mattress store, tried out several, bought one, but that time I was also considering price.  Bought one, got it home, that one was not too bad actually.  Slept on that one for a number of years.

The only thing I know is that I generally like the beds in the hotels I stay in, which are usually midrange hotels like Marriott or Hyatt.  They seem to be fairly firm and usually have good sheets with comforters and pillows that you can shape.

OK, so what is the trick that I am missing?

Is it trying more mattresses?  I thought the one in the store felt comfortable.  Really comfortable.

Is it paying more?

Laying on them longer?

Getting more advice from a salesperson?

Getting a brand with a good reputation?

Buying a mattress from a hotel?  (I've seriously thought about this.)

I don't really need mattress recommendations - I know there's people out there who like Purple, and Sleep Number, and all the different brands.  I have not seen much to suggest that the mattresses other people like are ones that I'll like.

What I need is recommendations for *how* to buy a mattress.

Thanks.

Buy a mattress from a company with at least a 30 day money back guarantee. The only way you are going to know if a mattress is good is if you sleep on it a lot.

Also: memory foam ftw.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Cranky on December 24, 2020, 05:39:55 AM
I feel like the secret is identifying exactly what you want from a bed? Firm or soft? Are you a side sleeper or back sleeper? Do you want foam or traditional or both?

Iíve recently bought a hybrid mattress from Amazon and love it, but I narrowed done what I wanted - pretty firm, no bounciness, but foam on the top because I sleep on my side...
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: partgypsy on December 24, 2020, 05:46:56 AM
I've been pretty good at picking out beds, but I did the same that you did, which is lay on beds and try them out. I like innerspring beds, individual coils with a padded top (but not pillow top) but are otherwise firm with a bounce (last one is simmons beauty rest) I also liked how latex felt (but they are pricey) but memory foam a no go (I want to sleep on top of my mattress, not in it). If you know you like a specific hotel bed there is a way to buy them now.  https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/best-hotel-beds-where-to-buy/index.html. I do suggest any place you buy, it has a 30-45 day return policy just in case. Another thing that made a difference with my sleep is to get a different pillow (one that has a cooling side) I got this pillow from Costco and like it.  //www.costco.com/novaform-lasting-cool-queen-pillow.product.100474451.html
 
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: mountain mustache on December 24, 2020, 07:40:10 AM
I have a natural latex bed that was $$$$ and it was worth every penny. I got it on super closeout at a Mattress firm clearance center and it was still very expensive, but it's the most incredible feeling bed. It is very soft to the touch, but when you lay down it firms up to support your body. Before I found it I was doing a lot of research about Avocado mattresses, and similar. Mine is the same idea (natural latex/wool casing) but I was really nervous about a bed in a box situation and not being able to lay on it first.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: startingsmall on December 24, 2020, 02:39:08 PM
We ordered a mattress from Tuft & Needle last month. Great reviews, highly ranked in Consumer Reports, and a 100-day trial/guarantee (if you don't like it, they'll send a charity to pick it up at your house and refund your money) made it a no-brainer for us. Not the cheapest option out there (I think we paid $1050?), but we LOOOOVE it and are both sleeping much better now.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Gronnie on December 24, 2020, 03:42:36 PM
My wife REALLY wants to get a Sleep Number mattress but I just don't know if I can bring myself to spend $3800 on a mattress.

When people say "$$$$$" or "it was really expensive" or even "got a great deal" I wish they would be a bit more specific on numbers -- those things mean way different things to different people.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: mozar on December 24, 2020, 03:55:29 PM
@RedmondStash  https://www.foambymail.com/HDR_2/hd36-r-foam-mattress.html
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: RedmondStash on December 25, 2020, 01:29:18 PM
@RedmondStash  https://www.foambymail.com/HDR_2/hd36-r-foam-mattress.html

@mozar , thank you!
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: jrhampt on December 29, 2020, 07:20:46 AM
My wife REALLY wants to get a Sleep Number mattress but I just don't know if I can bring myself to spend $3800 on a mattress.

When people say "$$$$$" or "it was really expensive" or even "got a great deal" I wish they would be a bit more specific on numbers -- those things mean way different things to different people.

I have no qualms about spending a few thousand dollars on a mattress because that's where I spend most of my time (I work from home). 
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on December 29, 2020, 10:13:53 AM
We ordered a mattress from Tuft & Needle last month. Great reviews, highly ranked in Consumer Reports, and a 100-day trial/guarantee (if you don't like it, they'll send a charity to pick it up at your house and refund your money) made it a no-brainer for us. Not the cheapest option out there (I think we paid $1050?), but we LOOOOVE it and are both sleeping much better now.

Which one did you get, Original, Mint, or Hybrid?
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: goat_music_generator on December 29, 2020, 10:42:42 AM
I'll just drop this website here: https://www.sleeplikethedead.com/

They post not only mattress ratings, but also detailed breakdowns of the properties of each mattress and the pros/cons
of different materials, suitability for different types of sleepers, etc. I found it very helpful when making a mattress purchase a few years ago.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: MissPeach on December 29, 2020, 11:18:44 AM
I have a friend who has a lot of back problems. He swears by putting a feather bed on a firm mattress. The ones on QVC are his favorite but I'm sure you can find these elsewhere.
https://www.qvc.com/qvc.product.H225379.html?colorId=000&sizeId=000&ref=GBA&cm_mmc=GOOGLESHOPPINGFEED-_-GShopping|L|All+Products-_-General-_-dc_24633700947_pla-298446599881__H225379-000-000&cm_mmca1=c&cm_mmca2=24633700947&cm_mmca3=pla-298446599881&cm_mmca4=H225379-000-000&cm_mmca5=pla&cm_mmca6=293030547&cm_mmca7=Acquisition&cm_mmca8=Acq&cm_mmca9=CjwKCAiAxKv_BRBdEiwAyd40N-rPEGwN8HD79JDwrQZkgig7MwmIgwtfsHKxrb84tETfriYCSXGdsxoC8HUQAvD_BwE&cm_mmca12=General&cm_mmca13=General&gclid=CjwKCAiAxKv_BRBdEiwAyd40N-rPEGwN8HD79JDwrQZkgig7MwmIgwtfsHKxrb84tETfriYCSXGdsxoC8HUQAvD_BwE

Since you mentioned liking hotel beds with comforters that shape I thought I would mention it. We live in a warmer area and it seems breathable and adaptable to hot or cold weather.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: yachi on December 29, 2020, 12:56:19 PM
Oh, I also wanted to note that I can't not read this thread title as "how do I get good in bed"

That is all.

So glad Iím not the only one!

It's all I see when I look at the Ask a Mustachian board now.  To answer this off topic question:  Practice, practice, practice and ask for feedback.  If you're still really lost you might be able to find some tutorials online.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: former player on December 29, 2020, 02:17:40 PM
A question to all those whose mattresses don't last: do you turn/flip your mattress regularly?  Every three months or so?  It makes a considerable difference.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: RedmondStash on December 29, 2020, 06:54:32 PM
A question to all those whose mattresses don't last: do you turn/flip your mattress regularly?  Every three months or so?  It makes a considerable difference.

Yes. I regularly rotate mattresses unless there's an explicit instruction from the manufacturer not to (like from Tempur-pedic). And I've flipped flippable mattresses, though the ones I've gotten recently haven't been double-sided. I even flipped a non-flip Leesa mattress and used a topper with it upside-down; that extended its lifespan from 2 years to about 2 years and 3 months. And that's the best a mattress has done for me in the past 10 years.

It seems that mattress quality has just gone way downhill. They feel great for the first few weeks, or maybe a couple of months, but they just don't retain their lumbar support. Or so I've found.

That's why I'm going to try making my own from individual foam layers. At least that way, I can just replace whichever piece gets worn out without spending so much $$ every year or two.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: RetirementDreaming on December 29, 2020, 07:04:30 PM
My husband complained of back pain for years.  He wanted a Sleep Number bed and said "no way I'm I paying that much".   I few years pass and the back pain continues.  I was out walking with a friend and she mentioned they had a Sleep Number Bed and had for years after sleeping on her in-laws bed.  She apparently had back pain too and but hadn't in years.  Well, I came home and told the husband we were shopping for a new bed.  That was 4 years ago.  No pain since.  As a side note he has lost 30 pounds recently and we adjusted his number to better support his new size.  Best purchase.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: GreenQueen on December 29, 2020, 07:11:38 PM
We sleep on a tatami bed frame on a firm IKEA mattress. My partner has scoliosis and back pain and itís great for him for 12 years now. I rotate/flip it but itís the foam kind with layers so itís not necessary I think, but I do anyway.

As an aside, if you can work on lower core strength, that helps overall with back pain.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: CupcakeGuru on December 30, 2020, 04:10:10 AM
My husband complained of back pain for years.  He wanted a Sleep Number bed and said "no way I'm I paying that much".   I few years pass and the back pain continues.  I was out walking with a friend and she mentioned they had a Sleep Number Bed and had for years after sleeping on her in-laws bed.  She apparently had back pain too and but hadn't in years.  Well, I came home and told the husband we were shopping for a new bed.  That was 4 years ago.  No pain since.  As a side note he has lost 30 pounds recently and we adjusted his number to better support his new size.  Best purchase.

We are on year 21 with our sleep number bed. We both had back pain with our old mattress. Nothing since. Well worth the money.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Fomerly known as something on December 30, 2020, 04:32:40 AM
Many of the hotel brands have already recognized this as a marketing opportunity, including Marriot:

https://www.shopmarriott.com/product.aspx?Foam-Mattress-Box-Spring-Set

When we were in Beijing a few times people in the expat community got together to place a bulk order at a discount.

A 40% discount is one of the elite member benefits you can choose from when you reach the upper level tiers.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: the_hobbitish on December 30, 2020, 07:38:24 AM
Everything about buying a bed is about knowing what you like in a mattress. Are you a back or side sleeper? That and your weight can make a big difference in what you want in a bed.

I recommend the website https://sleepopolis.com/

They have two tests that are really useful: 1) a pressure map that shows where you'll feel the most pressure for each sleep position (side, back, stomach) and 2) motion transfer comparison using sensors and dropped weights. They also do thorough discussions on whether beds sleep hot and relative comparisons of firmness.

I'm a light-weight side sleeper. I like a mattress that allows my should and hip to sink, but is has a firm supportive base layer. I looked for low pressure ratings in the hip and shoulder area and a bed with a soft top layer. I tried the casper and returned it after 30 days. I don't weigh enough to be able to sink my should and hip into the mattress resulting in sleeping more on my stomach than side. I used the reviews on sleepopolis to find a bed with more cushion in the first 3 inches while keeping the firm base. I ended up with a nectar a love it.

Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Mariko on December 30, 2020, 08:02:19 PM
Agree with the rest about going towards the firmer end of the spectrum due to back pain issues, as others mentioned this depends on your sleeping position though.

Also, maybe see if there are any local makers with good reviews.  We found a little mom and pop shop that got all the materials from big brands but had them assembled in shop.  Cost hundreds of dollars less and I only heard good things about the quality.  Been very happy with it.

My siblings almost all own futon beds (like the traditional fold up style) and love them as well.  Depending on what youíre looking for.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: FI45RE on December 31, 2020, 01:46:59 PM
We have a Purple mattress, and will never purchase anything else again. Firm, supportive, doesn't get hot at all. The platform is also well worth it, and the newly designed platforms (came out sometime in 2018-19) don't make any noise whatsoever and are very sturdy. We went from firm memory foam (hated it) to Purple about 5 years ago and never looked back.

I will say it takes about ~10 nights to get used to the way the mattress supports you, but once your body adjusts, it's heaven. I think they also have a 100 night return policy.

For you (or anyone) who is thinking about a Purple...they are heavy, like it's difficult for two people to move/carry them heavy because they aren't rigid at the edges/corners. We just moved 2 weeks ago and can confirm they are not pleasant to move. Otherwise, stellar mattress. We have even switched to the Purple pillows and love them. I've had a lot of trouble over the years finding a pillow that doesn't kink my neck and the Purple pillows we've had for 4ish months are great as well.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Gronnie on January 01, 2021, 09:20:50 AM
Sleep Number was having an end of year sale and I did some research and it appears this is the best price they ever have so we went ahead and pulled the trigger.

I hope it's worth it!
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Roadrunner53 on February 27, 2021, 05:35:25 AM
We have a Purple mattress, and will never purchase anything else again. Firm, supportive, doesn't get hot at all. The platform is also well worth it, and the newly designed platforms (came out sometime in 2018-19) don't make any noise whatsoever and are very sturdy. We went from firm memory foam (hated it) to Purple about 5 years ago and never looked back.

I will say it takes about ~10 nights to get used to the way the mattress supports you, but once your body adjusts, it's heaven. I think they also have a 100 night return policy.

For you (or anyone) who is thinking about a Purple...they are heavy, like it's difficult for two people to move/carry them heavy because they aren't rigid at the edges/corners. We just moved 2 weeks ago and can confirm they are not pleasant to move. Otherwise, stellar mattress. We have even switched to the Purple pillows and love them. I've had a lot of trouble over the years finding a pillow that doesn't kink my neck and the Purple pillows we've had for 4ish months are great as well.

FI45RE I read your review about Purple but would like to know more! I have been looking at Purple on line for a while and am intriqued by it. Can you give some more details like what model did you buy, approx. cost, did you go to a store to try it out or did you order it on line, how long have you had your bed. I have got to buy a new bed very soon. I have purchased so many beds over the years and they have all been mostly terrible. They always start out comfortable, then within no time the all seem to develop ditches. Right now my back is killing me and I have to make a decision soon. The mattress I have now cost around $5,000 and within a years time, it became a bit uncomfortable for me so I bought a Tempurpedic topper and that helped for a while but I think the mattress is continuing to deterorate by the day. Oh, one more question, did the bed come in a box? How did you get delivery? How long have you owned it?

Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: meghan88 on February 27, 2021, 06:27:05 PM
In case it helps anyone, I'd advise against Logan and Cove, or any other premium mattress.  Too deep for regular sheets, heavy as all heck.  Switched from GOOD quality futons and I would go back to a really good quality futon in a heartbeat.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Anon in Alaska on February 27, 2021, 06:57:23 PM
It's worth considering your box spring as well as your mattress. When I had my current bed on a new stiff cheap box spring it was horrible. When I switched it over to an old, sagging, box spring my bed suddenly became comfortable.

On the other hand some people don't even want a box spring.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: norajean on February 27, 2021, 08:51:32 PM
 Visit 4-5 different mattress stores in your area. Describe your problem in detail. Provide info on the mattresses which did and did not work for you. Choose the salesman you like the best. Try lots of mattresses. Purchase a mattress. Keep in mind mattresses can be marked up 300-500% retail so huge room to negotiate.

Last year I found a local guy I trusted. Told him our stuff is in transit and need a short term quality mattress that wonít break my back for under $300. He called all around and found us one. It is great. Quite an adventure getting it home strapped loosely to the roof.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Roadrunner53 on February 28, 2021, 03:59:49 AM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on February 28, 2021, 05:59:23 AM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: SavinMaven on February 28, 2021, 08:05:39 AM
If you're willing to put up with a little hassle, I suggest trial-and-error.

There are so many internet bed-in-a-box companies out there that allow 90 or 120 day trial periods that if you're willing to put up with a little churn, you can just keep trying until you find what works for you. It helps if you have a decent guest bed in case you end up with a day or two gap between pickup of one and the delivery of the next, or, just keep track of dates carefully and order the next before you return the current. It's a pain, but sometimes it's hard to predict what you'll like, and once you find the right one, it can be life-changing!
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Gronnie on February 28, 2021, 02:36:22 PM
Sleep Number was having an end of year sale and I did some research and it appears this is the best price they ever have so we went ahead and pulled the trigger.

I hope it's worth it!

Update: We absolutely hated it and ended up returning it. Cost us $400 to find out.

Bought a $400 mattress in a box and a nice topper and it's orders of magnitude more comfortable than the glorified air mattress Sleep Number.

DW and I are both in the middle of substantial weight loss so we may revisitit in a year or two.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Roadrunner53 on February 28, 2021, 02:41:10 PM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???

Then I sleep on the floor for a week or two till I buy another bed?
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Gronnie on February 28, 2021, 02:59:02 PM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???

Then I sleep on the floor for a week or two till I buy another bed?

Buy another prior to returning the purple.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Michael in ABQ on February 28, 2021, 03:14:13 PM
My wife worked at a hotel in college and we were able to buy a queen size mattress through her work for $400-500. We're still using that same mattress 13+ years later. It's the kind that is double-sided so every three months we rotate it and/or flip it over (it has the months listed at the foot of the mattress). It's a Serta brand and the model is slightly worn off but I think it's something like "Presidential Suite". Of course that's meaningless as Serta will make 100 different-named models so that it's impossible to compare as no two mattress stores will carry the same model.

We've considered buying a new mattress, but frankly this one is still working fine for me. Also, I don't really want to spend another $500 - $1,000 right now.

Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Dreamer40 on February 28, 2021, 05:45:24 PM
I read independent reviews of mattresses. I ended up buying the one that the New York Times recommended and absolutely love it (Leesa Hybrid) but there are also probably consumer reports and other sources. These are more useful to me because people are putting them through an actual testing process versus random people on the internet who bought one bed and either liked it or didnít like it.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on March 01, 2021, 01:02:12 PM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???

Then I sleep on the floor for a week or two till I buy another bed?

What? No. You buy a new one before you return the old one.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: GuitarStv on March 01, 2021, 01:33:57 PM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???

Then I sleep on the floor for a week or two till I buy another bed?

What? No. You buy a new one before you return the old one.

No.  Sleep on the floor.  It'll help you realize the needlessness of having a bed at all.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on March 01, 2021, 02:04:41 PM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???

Then I sleep on the floor for a week or two till I buy another bed?

What? No. You buy a new one before you return the old one.

No.  Sleep on the floor.  It'll help you realize the needlessness of having a bed at all.

Yeah, if you're Steve, you sleep on the floor. If you're me, you buy a second mattress before returning the first one.

Either way, it's very manageable.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: GuitarStv on March 01, 2021, 02:28:27 PM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???

Then I sleep on the floor for a week or two till I buy another bed?

What? No. You buy a new one before you return the old one.

No.  Sleep on the floor.  It'll help you realize the needlessness of having a bed at all.

Yeah, if you're Steve, you sleep on the floor. If you're me, you buy a second mattress before returning the first one.

Either way, it's very manageable.

I've gone soft and have a bit of carpet with under pad rather than straight laminate.  :P
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: Malcat on March 01, 2021, 02:30:58 PM
I went to a Purple website and some people love it and some people hate it. Just like anything else. However, If I go for the top of the line with the  mattress and foundation with tax close to or over  $4,000.

Seems to me in the 'olden days' people just bought mattresses and not rocket ship beds and were happy!

I don't even mind spending $4,000 but I want to fall in love with it and have it last for a long time.

You really can't depend on reviews because people want different things. Firmness, softness, some sleep on their backs, sides, stomach. People are tall, short, lightweight, heavyweight.  What works for me might not work for you. UGH!

So what if I get a Purple mattress and in 100 days decide I don't like it and they honor the 100 day guarantee. Now, I have no bed at all!

Then you buy a different mattress???

Then I sleep on the floor for a week or two till I buy another bed?

What? No. You buy a new one before you return the old one.

No.  Sleep on the floor.  It'll help you realize the needlessness of having a bed at all.

Yeah, if you're Steve, you sleep on the floor. If you're me, you buy a second mattress before returning the first one.

Either way, it's very manageable.

I've gone soft and have a bit of carpet with under pad rather than straight laminate.  :P

Wimp.
We can't be friends anymore.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: centwise on March 01, 2021, 02:33:42 PM
Great info.
ptf.
Title: Re: How do I get a good bed?
Post by: ChpBstrd on March 01, 2021, 02:45:45 PM
I've been pretty good at picking out beds, but I did the same that you did, which is lay on beds and try them out. I like innerspring beds, individual coils with a padded top (but not pillow top) but are otherwise firm with a bounce (last one is simmons beauty rest) I also liked how latex felt (but they are pricey) but memory foam a no go (I want to sleep on top of my mattress, not in it). If you know you like a specific hotel bed there is a way to buy them now.  https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/best-hotel-beds-where-to-buy/index.html.

This confirms it. The hotels are spending ~$1500 on a mattress. They're probably replacing them every 3-5 years too.