Coming up on our 1 yr anniversary! Our wedding cost ~$7k total, but my mom was able to resell a lot of the decor, etc, so it's more like $5k (including helping several relatives with travel and lodging costs). Also included a faaaaaaaancy-ass dress, since that was my one "fantasy" area. I set my priorities as such: "wear a pretty dress, and get married to DH". Check and check!
-Vistaprint for invites, which I did calligraphy on the envelopes
-Small guest list
-DH wore a suit he already owned
-Brother was officiant
-Married in parent's back yard... instead of a venue fee, that cost went toward improvements to their (new to them) home, which is a value that will last much longer! Part of them revamping a foreclosure, and it's been revalued at $45k more than all the $ they have put in. Bonus: the concrete work was done by a relative, so cost much less than it would have otherwise, and was incredible quality of work
-Built the wedding arch ourselves
-Bought the groomsmen suits on super sale at JC Penny, I think black friday? Anyway, all the brothers, so we paid for everyone, but for nice suits it was like $10 for the pants and $15 for the jackets. The ties were $10 but were buy one get one free. We went with charcoal so they're easily reusable for everyone.
-Went dumpster diving with my parents the winter before the wedding to find abandoned plants. Were able to nurse quite a few back to health, so we had some incredible cactus blooms for the wedding! For free! Plus, pretty sure that's good karma ;)
-Mom bought the chairs from a rental company auction and then resold on CL for a profit
-wore shoes I already owned, and jewelry I (or my mom) already owned
-I did a mismatched china for place settings, all bought from CL, and several free- all told about $20 for 50 place settings of nice china... could have resold these, but instead they are part of the family "wedding circuit" now (we have a big family!)
-Wholesale flowers and did all the arrangements ourselves, including my bouquet
-Family connections for the professional photographer, and DH and Brother bartered some of the services for his... we just paid airfare, shipping for his equipment, and tipped him as a gift for his time. ~$400 for a photographer who generally charges $3-5k for the level of package we got. Incredible.
-Spotify for the music, and DH installed the outdoor sound system, and we used a USB microphone for all the vows, etc
-Great local grocery store did our catering and our wedding cake, which was just a little 8" round- otherwise we did little individual deserts. People loved it.
-Costco for alcohol, and in the state we got married, you can return unopened alcohol, so we had no extras
-Diamond was inherited, DH had a custom ring made to remount it- had an artificial diamond put in the old mounting, so that Relative could still wear the previous ring (This didn't really save money, but I thought it was incredibly sweet)
-Cousin did my hair, makeup, and nails
-Parent's friends did the serving, are experienced servers, and were excited to see the wedding... they didn't want paid, but we gave them thank you cards with tips anyway. Still way less than hiring a service formally though!
Best way to save money, make damn sure the two of you are compatible. Divorces usually cost more than weddings.
+1. Make sure you're getting married for the marriage, NOT for the wedding.
As for keeping the important things in perspective, I found this website super helpful:
http://apracticalwedding.com/2009/04/wedding-industrial-complex-as-it-were/http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/01/your-wedding-is-not-show/http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/01/you-guys/It also helped that I was in nursing school up for the planning, so I didn't have time to dwell or overly complicate things. And my graduation was exactly one week before the wedding, in a different state, which I drove between (26hr drive). Insane? Yes. Help with wedding stress? Also yes, it compressed it all into like 3 days! We wrote our vows on the road trip down, and frankly, that journal with our hand lettered vows is my favorite piece of "memorabilia" I could possibly have.