Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm a wimp. But I want this lifestyle to be one that is sustainable and enjoyable to us, and so I prioritize accordingly.
While I have conflicted thoughts and feelings on the matter, at the end of the day actions are what counts, and my actions are consistent with this. But if I had to wager a guess, I suspect MMM would call us wimps. In
this post I talked about looking at this in terms of a continuum, with Jacob (ERE) and MMM far to one end, and debt-laden spendypants consumerist at the other extreme. I liken my current situation to the "25th percentile", which is somewhere between the midpoint and the MMM end.
But in that post, I was talking about the "overall MMM factor", for lack of better word. In other words, all the attributes that make up a MMM/non-MMM person are arguably continuums themselves:
3. When you undo the layers of hedonic adaptation you actually don't miss the luxuries you take for granted. Luxuries are more fun when you don't do/have them all the time.
Agreed, but what is luxury? Take the microwave for example. Nobody really
needs one if they have an oven, but they are so damn convenient. Nobody really needs an oven, when you could just start a fire for cooking. If you eat only fruits, nuts and vegetables, you theoretically don't even need to cook anything. I'm admittedly being a bit hyperbolic, but the point is, everyone will define "luxury" differently.
4.Being able to live frugally is the best insurance policy against all sorts of unavoidable events that might threaten your middle class comfort: you truly don't have to worry anymore because you know how to survive on very little very happily. It takes time to learn these skills. Best learn them before you need them.
Also agree, and this actually has a huge appeal to me. I can do financial planning until I'm blue in the face, but the further into the future I look, the more uncertain things become, and the more likely black swan events become. I think William Bernstein said something to the effect of "80% is as good as it gets when it comes to long term predictions". Meaning, you could have Carlos Slim's bankroll, and MMM's spending, and still only have, at best, an 80% chance of financial success in the long run.
So again, it's a question of degree. Why not spend a year or two living in the wilderness, completely on the land (like one of those extreme survivor shows)? Again, it's hyperbole, but anyone who can pull that off is definitely
badass, and is certainly better suited than most when it comes to extremely dire unpredictable future scenarios.
Trouble is, they are so dependent on their bedpans and catheters that their rehabilitation is much more difficult.
And that's really the gist of my question. But take a less hyperbolic example: air conditioning. Normal, healthy people don't
need it. Even if you're 100% off-grid, renewable energy, manufacturing the AC unit has an environmental cost. And for that matter, so does the manufacturing of your solar panels, wind/water turbines, etc. Yes, I know running the AC is detrimental to the environment, but it's not immediately obvious---it's an abstract concept. And just my AC alone isn't harming the environment, it's everyone's in aggregate. If the world population was only 1000 people, surely we could all run our ACs full blast and have virtually no impact. I grew up with AC, find it hard to sleep if I'm too hot, can easily afford it, why give it up? I'm happy to run it a little lighter than most people, and use a smart thermostat to only run it when necessary. Relatively speaking, I define my AC usage as moderate relative to the average American, but still indulgent luxury when compared to MMM.
Millionaire Next Door is a good one to get you thinking.
I've read MND, and waiting to get it back from my parents so my wife can read it. But, my impression was that many of the people profiled in that book (with possibly the exception of the Scots) is that they are more like me ("25th percentile") than they are like MMM. That is, "smart conscientious consumers", but not "hyper-optimizers". Maybe the obvious example is cars: MND millionaires typically drive $30k-ish domestic cars, rather than luxury imports. But they're not riding bikes or even getting tiny 10 year old hatchbacks.
Based on what you've said, you don't have the $$$ to retire at your current spending level / "standard of living". You do have enough to retire at a much more frugal spending level. I wouldn't agree to that either, in your wife's shoes, because there's too much uncertainty involved in retiring and similtaneously cutting your expenses dramatically.
And for the record, I'm not suggesting that. Too many big changes at once! I was trying to minimize the rambling in the initial post, but what I'm doing is to take the slow and steady approach. That is, slowly adopt changes that keep us moving in the right direction in terms of lifestyle. But, I kind of feel like we've reached a standstill. We've picked all the low-hanging fruit. The next steps are more challenging, and mere suggestions are met with trepidation.
How much longer do you need to work to build up the 'stache enough to retire at your current spending level? Is it worth holding on for another few years for a happy wife? Don't forget that happy wife = happy life.
A couple more years may also give you the time to slowly build a shared vision together that fits better with your preferred lifestyle than the current one.
That's exactly what I'm doing. But some days it gets frustrating to think, "If only we were already at the MMM level, I'd be at home playing with my kids right now."