It has taken me all these years to earn this type of money...and now that I have it...all I can do is daydream about spending more time outside, far away from any cubicle.
I can relate to this. A few months ago I got a good-paying job after years of underemployment, struggle, losing a condo, a failed attempt at self-employment, etc. I have a lot of savings catch-up to do, as I was just covering necessities for years. So I don't really feel like I can quit. My job is sort of a unicorn and I'm shocked that I even found this opening as they are very, very rare these days due to outsourcing overseas. To be honest, those lean years were really brutal on my mental health and my relationship with my partner (who is also underemployed), and I don't want to go through that again. Plus, the company is OK, as big companies go, and I really like my boss and co-workers. I'm just chafing at the ass-in-seat time.
I should be grateful, but all I can think about is how I'm watching life pass me by. Especially at this time of year when I'd rather be out in the garden and not stuck in a cubicle with AC blasting me to death. I've had losses in my life recently that have really made me think hard about how I'm spending my time. But, I am nowhere near close to FI, and am 44, so.... feeling kind of stuck. Really hard to avoid self-medicating by shopping, too, but so far I'm doing decently at that.
I have this problem too, which after spending my life in jobs that worked me to death, I'm finding a little bit disconcerting:
I was basically doing nothing for 40 hours a week. The boredom was absolutely soul crushing but I was making all this money and I was afraid another job hop might make me unattractive to potential employers. I mean it's not like you can tell someone in an interview that you do nothing all day because you ask for work and no one will give you any.
They keep telling me that it's going to get busy again (and maybe in a few months I'll be worked to death and exhausted) but in the meantime it is rough. I literally feel like I am serving time in exchange for money. I'm trying to focus on how I'm not worried about paying the bills any more, how I can save, how I can occasionally pay for a night out in cash. And on how awful it felt to have a minor emergency come up that I couldn't cash-flow.
This does make me more motivated to strive for FI, but I've got a grand total of $112k in my stash and FI just seems so far away. (RE is not even on the table due to my age. :( )