DH and I went through this same philosophical conundrum when we got out of college (both engineering degrees, tail end of Gen X). What we saw was that the big money came from going into management, but then your hours skyrocketed, and neither one of us was into that. So, we decided to work hard while we were at work, but keep it at 40-45 hours a week, barring actual emergencies. And if the emergencies were more like the normal state of affairs, find a new job where that isn't the case.
We got a lot of flak about not being ambitious when we were young. A lot of negative talk about how our careers would be limited if we only worked 40 hours a week, etc. It all sounded kind of fake and peer-pressure-y. We figured that if it hampered our careers, we'd adjust as needed.
20 years later, we're both in principal-level engineer positions. We've advanced a little farther than optimal, since the largest number of jobs in our profession is one level down, but we also have years of living expenses saved, so taking a longer time to find a job isn't a concern.
You can find your own middle ground, and while there are eventually points of no return in your career, they take a while to show up. You can be a little ambitious, then stop and assess if you want to move on or remain. And have FU money ready, so your employer can't bully you into taking on more than you want.