How's My Resume?

[Zalo]

I've attached a potential Resume for my work study applications; I'm wondering if you could read it and tell me what you think/provide suggestions for improvement in wording, omissions, inclusions, etc.

I plan to attach a cover letter to this emphasizing how my varied tastes in subject and activities go hand in hand only with my hard work, perseverance, and multi-faceted development; because of my varied, renaissance perspective, I'll adapt to the job quickly, yet be determined enough to work through long hours.

I don't yet know which work study job I'll choose as I find out what's on the board on the 25th.

[jfLip]

To be honest my first thought was, "Oh gosh..." because of the small margins with tons of text in the top portion of your resume.  If you could make language more concise and perhaps eliminate unrelated/unnecessary information (i.e. Elementary School portion), the better.  White space is a good thing :).  I think the average time a resume gets looked over is 12-15 seconds or something, so too much text "burdens" the reviewer.

Additionally beware of trying to emphasize your varied taste, a resume should be tailored for the position; some may view "varied" as "fluff."

Overall, nice resume.  Your GPA and leadership experience is great.  I see a lot of "initiated" and "executed" along with hard figures to back it up -- very good.  Your resume screams out, "I'm a leader and here's proof I work hard" -- this is really all I'd care about.  Once that thought enters my head, I'm ready to discuss moving forward if I like your vibe.  Also, if you have any further computer skills, list them.  Listing Photoshop immediately tells me you're more computer saavy than the person who puts the default "MS Office Suite."

P.S. I work in HR and have seen tons of resumes.

[Zalo]

Good tips, this looks better, though I'll try to cut things shorter and add in even more space.

[ch12]

I have around 5 years of experience doing job posting and screening candidates for my family's business.

I like your 2nd resume and I'd definitely bring you in for an interview. I will say that something you may want to highlight in a cover letter or during an interview is how exactly you have skills in Excel, because that can range for "I can autosum lists" to "I understand 3D formatting (=/= 3D effects) and can create risk models". I have a job at an unnamed software company in Madison for which my most relevant classes in school were learning the obscure functionalities of Excel and making databases in Access. If I hadn't decided to work where I am now, I probably could have gotten a job being an Excel monkey (Seth Godin's term) in a cube somewhere.

[Zalo]

Do any of you have a template I could use to start my cover letter?

[CDP45]

No template dude, just less than half page with word with formal formatting and proper grammar. I hope you've been accepted to college at this point...and that's all that really matters for the next 4 or less years for you.

[Zalo]

No template dude, just less than half page with word with formal formatting and proper grammar. I hope you've been accepted to college at this point...and that's all that really matters for the next 4 or less years for you.

I have been accepted to college, but a decent resume and cover letter are necessary for internships, work study, and other goodies.

...I'll figure something out.

[kkbmustang]

Off the top of my head:

Address/date/etc from template

Dear -----:

Paragraph 1
I recently learned of the --- position with -----(company). Insert sentence about how you heard about it, and any connections you have to the person or company.

Paragraph 2
Discuss all the reasons your skills and background would be a fit for the position.
Describe what you bring to the table, why they should hire you.

Paragraph 3
Closing with your next action. I would love to schedule a time to speak with you about this opportunity and how I may ----- (what you can do or them). I can be reached at ------.  If I don't hear back by ---, I will follow up via ---- then. I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,

[Zalo]

Off the top of my head:

Address/date/etc from template

Dear -----:

Paragraph 1
I recently learned of the --- position with -----(company). Insert sentence about how you heard about it, and any connections you have to the person or company.

Paragraph 2
Discuss all the reasons your skills and background would be a fit for the position.
Describe what you bring to the table, why they should hire you.

Paragraph 3
Closing with your next action. I would love to schedule a time to speak with you about this opportunity and how I may ----- (what you can do or them). I can be reached at ------.  If I don't hear back by ---, I will follow up via ---- then. I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,

Interesting, it's just like writing a formal e-mail. Thank you; knowing this, making a job specific cover letter shouldn't be too much trouble.

[ontheupandup]

Another option you have in tailoring for a specific position is to create a "Related Experience" category at the top (or you can label it "Administrative Experience" or "Customer Service Experience" or whatever is relevant to the particular work-study opportunity you are applying for). This frees you from having to lump ALL of your experience into one (or two) chronological list(s), and gives you a chance to put the most relevant experiences right at the top--where they are most likely to be seen. You can glean a lot of information about the skills someone is looking for based on a position description, so use those descriptions as a starting point to think about which of your experiences highlight these skills. This should shape your cover letter as well! Are they looking for someone with strong writing skills who has experience working on a team? Include those experiences in a "Related Experience" category right beneath your education information on your resume, and be sure to mention the most impressive one (or two) in your cover letter.

*Also, just fyi: the use of personal pronouns is generally avoided on resumes to keep entries brief and keep attention on the information rather than a narrative (I see some "I"s and "my"s in your current document). Ex: "presented my findings to" would be changed to "presented findings to".