I'm surprised at the narrow views on this. I get that it's a face punch type expense but you can't just generalize this with "I can do it so you can do it same as me" response. Cleaning is actually a very individualized thing. Cleaning (or the thought of) is very stressful for some. That doesn't mean they can't/shouldn't do it but just because you can suck it up and just get it done doesn't mean it's less stressful for them. Cleaning is as much mental as it is physical. Occasional vacuuming and toilet cleaning? I could say that's not even cleaning to me but clearly it is to some. It's fine to say that a cleaning service is a luxury expense and one to be avoided but do you really have to minimize someone's feeling to say that?
If the concept of taking basic care of themselves is extremely stressful to the point of causing mental problems, that person has much bigger issues than a dirty toilet and should seek professional help.
Just so we are clear, "taking care of oneself" =/= "taking care of a family of four, including a toddler"
What are the other three people doing? Being a doormat would definitely be a lot of work - good thing it's optional!
The 2 year old is really really awesome at making a huge mess in a very short period of time. He *is* very good at putting his shoes on the shelf, and sometimes cleaning up his blocks, and taking his leftover plate into the kitchen, though sometimes he throws it in the trash can.
Part of that is just teaching the toddler. He wants to feed himself. So we let him. He needs to practice. Of course it means that yogurt gets all over the floor, or the couch if you don't catch him fast enough, and cracker crumbs, and whatever else (hey, more cleanup!) He likes to drink water from a cup, but sometimes spills it (more cleanup!)
The 8 year old is really bad at his shoes, but is starting to make his own lunch (PB&J), and is starting to help with dishes (he's very short, and our counters are on the high side). Of course he can help "pick up toys", and does.
My husband does 100% of the laundry, the yard work, and the trash/recycling when he's not traveling (which really comes and goes).
This leaves me with 100% of the meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking.
What's left that isn't listed?
Piles of dishes from all of the cooking.
Putting away books and toys (see above: toddler)
Going through/ recycling the piles and piles of papers that come home from the school. I shudder at what it will be like when I have two in school.
Vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing the sinks, counters, toilets, bath tub. Washing the windows. Mopping floors, cleaning out the microwave, fridge, toaster oven. Changing sheets.
I'm sure I'm missing something. So: the three things above? Dishes, toys, papers...yeah, husband and I do that (with our very few hours in the day and weekend.)
The rest? I farm out. Look, pre-kid days, we did the "2-hours on Saturday" thing. Our rules were: laundry doesn't count, and dishes leftover from last night do not count (we did not have a dishwasher). After the first kid, and the second kid, we just cannot set aside two hours, or even one hour. Being at school and/or daycare for 40 hours a week, well you know, my kids want to hang out with me. Go to the park, the pool, play cards, or cars, or whatever. So do I sit at the table and color with my toddler? Do I take the kids to the pool? Or do I clean? I *already* feel like I'm kicking the little guy out of the kitchen so I can do my major cooking and prep, when all he really wants to do is play.
The baby/toddler years are short (relatively). When I find people commenting that "you should stop whining and do it, get everyone else to help!" It's never ever someone with a toddler and a full time job. And frankly, most people don't even remember the soul-crushing exhaustion that comes with having a toddler. Heck, I didn't remember between the two (it comes back when you do it again!) Something about how your memory recalls the good things and not the negative things.