Here's the TLDR version: I'm going to be working at a job that is a 2-hr drive away from a hospital where my very sick infant son will be located for some time. a) Should my family (wife and 3 daughters) live close to where I will be working - and then making about twice a-week visits to our son in the hospital? Or b) should we live in between the hospital and work, making daily hospital visits possible for my wife? Option 'a' would require less driving and would allow some semblance of permanence, but it comes at a cost of being located further from our son. Option 'b' would allow us to have something of a consistent routine including daily hospital visits, but would require upwards of 20 hours of driving in a week between my wife and myself.
Please offer any advice, especially if you have ever been in a similar situation. Advice such as what to drive, how to maximize time, etc... would be appreciated. I am looking into whether I can do parts of my job remotely, but it is not likely. For a longer version, feel free to continue reading....
-Long Version-
My son was born at 24 weeks gestation due to some complications in the pregnancy. His road was rocky, but okay, until about 3 weeks ago when he took a strong turn for the worse and we came to understand he suffers from pulmonary hypertension. This condition is often fatal, as it commonly leads to heart failure. But there is still some hope of a full recovery. Right now, everything is on edge.
I finished grad school a few years ago, accepted a teaching position at a small college in Iowa 3 years ago, and life has been good. I never imagined myself teaching when I started school, but it has become something I'm passionate about, to my own surprise. I've been biking to school and then work for about 10 years and can't imagine a better way to get around. I think I love finding ways of living efficiently about as much as MMM does. We don't make much money, but as a family of five I don't think we spend more than 30k a year - including a house mortgage payment. And yet we have so many awesome opportunities that we feel absurdly rich. But in the last few months, the arrival of our son has made it clear that life has a lesson or two to teach us.
A few months ago, we realized that it would be a good idea to move to a different part of the country, closer to extended family (both sets of grandparents, multiple siblings, etc..). I found, was offered, and accepted a job at a great small college. Our house just sold and we are planning to move in the next couple of months. A few weeks ago, we thought our son would be home soon, and we would buy a home in the town where the college is found. But then everything got flushed down the toilet, our son started doing very badly, and we found that he has pulmonary hypertension (high blood pressure in the lung part of the circulatory system due to resistance to flow from his crappy lungs). This diagnosis means that he will be in a hospital 2-hr drive from where I work.
We could live close to my sister, who is about 40 min. drive from the hospital, making a daily visit possible. This would make a super-hellish drive for me to get to work. And I don't really want to be apart from my three young girls for extended periods either. Or we could live by where I work, making weekend trips to visit my son, and my wife could make another mid-week trip as well. I can provide more details for anyone that has the time to respond. How are we going to continue to live an efficient life with this sorts of constraints? How will I not be driven crazy with 1000's of miles of commuting?