I've had little success thus far with "convincing". I've changed myself and lead by example which has had some effect. Also, as blahblah just said I spend almost zero money on myself. This alone makes a very big difference. It can be hard lifting all the heavy weight yourself, but I don't mind. I have enjoyed the change in mindset quite a bit, and I see the end goal so I'm very motivated.
Hmm be careful. I tried that - spend zero- and it just meant more money to SO to spend. Then we set up separate allowances, so I can feel good about seeing savings grow, and not worry about his lunch spends so much. My mistake was not talking about it much with him, and only trying to set an example....he definitely prefers it when I talk to him. He spends more if i get busy and dont spend time with him or talk a lot...
Stacker-I think you have to do both, and from your other posts, I think you likely are.
goldielocks, thaks for your thoughts/advice. I guess I should clarify a bit. My wife is not super spendy shopaholic, she just likes convenience and doesn't mind being a mostly typical consumer. She also has no idea (and most of the time no care) how much money we have, what our bills are, or what I spend money on. So if I buy absolutely nothing, or I spend $1K in a day, she doesn't really know and it won't change her habits/patterns at all.
Also, I do talk about finances a lot with her, but either I'm doing it wrong or she just doesn't want to talk about it most of the time. It all comes off as complaining and only bringing up negative things, so I need to work on the strategy. For now though, I'm continuing to work on the big things I can change on my own, changing my outlook and attitude, and leading by example in the hopes she will be more frugal.
So I try, but I don't push too hard. We will get to FI either way, but I want to get there sooner than our current trajectory. I just don't want either of us to be unhappy along the way. So we're trying to find that "goldielocks" spot in our discussions vs. the hands-off approach.