You are not alone! My husband won't give up on cable, either. I could go with zero TV and be fine (and I was while I lived on my own). My husband is horrible about going out to eat, etc. and often I get drawn into it because of our busy lives (business owners).
However, I found that you definitely CAN make a big difference just keeping your own stash. However, because of it being a marriage, sometimes you may have to jointly contribute or contribute MORE on your end to some sort of emergency.
I am learning how to keep my emotions out of it as best as I can. It is still a learning process, and I'd love to hear of others' experiences!
For example, my husband still has some stupid, idiotic CC debt. It was mostly to furnish a home we bought in AZ a few years ago. Now, could be angry about this; however, this particular home was bought for $94K in 2011. Now it is worth about $190K (pretty accurate as the exact homes/exact floorplans in our immediate street are selling for this). It is only about $7k in CC debt. I transferred it to my discover (has a 0% transfer fee & 4.25% APR). He's paying me $500/month to pay it off. I could pay it off immediately, but I keep my stash separate.
He's more of a gambler/risk taker. We've had huge ups & downs but overall his risk taking has been beneficial. However, by flexing my frugal muscles, it is vastly improving our financial situation as a couple over only the last 6 months or so.