The Money Mustache Community
Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: cbr shadow on November 25, 2013, 12:44:13 PM
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When my wife and I got married we had a private ceremony where the officiant read a quote from my parents. I recently found the quote and am going to print/frame it, but since it's sentimental and I'm going to have it for a long time I want to make sure formatting and punctuation are correct. This is clearly not my strong point.. Can someone help me with this?
"We are happy, honored, and extremely proud to see you ceremoniously united in this lovely setting, surrounded by its natural beauty.
Now you embark on life’s journey, sharing experiences, love, joy, pain, sadness, happiness…. And together, your spirits become part of the natural harmony surrounding you - the wind, the sun, the moon, the stars, life and the cosmos…. Together, your spirits are now part of this natural melody. Always follow your dreams in life’s wonderful adventure.
May the love you feel today be remembered and felt forever."
Thanks,
Ryan
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Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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I'll give it a stab. I'm not touching the wording as I assume that's original and part of what you want to keep.
I wanted to say replace the ellipses with dashes but you've already got a dash there.
You could format it in such a way that each clause/sentence has it's own line, much like a poem, which will let you get rid of the ellipses and the dash. The more I look at it the more I like formatting it to reduce the punctuation and let the words be the emphasis.
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I agree with Boz that you should format it with each "sentence" on a separate line and end each with a period (like a poem) :-)
And I don't see any grammar errors with your commas.
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Ditch the ellipses. Those are used to show that the thought continues on, with the rest of it unexpressed. It's like you didn't quite finish what you were going to...
While strict grammar rules would say you can't start a sentence with a common, in informal, non-professional writing, it is now extremely common to do just that. So I would change both ellipses into simple periods. Even if you don't change the formatting, I think that's the best way to go.