Does anyone have any other suggestions or words of encouragement?
If it counts for anything, I am not going to jump on the divorce train, or the marriage counseling train. As someone who has experienced a negative spiral of disastrous attitudes (like your wife), I think what she really needs is some good luck. Ideally, a well-paying job in your area.
Of course, your communication does need to improve, which is why marriage counseling has been suggested so much, but there are many ways to accomplish that. Step one is never to say the first thing that pops into your head ("Can my mother teach you finances?") and don't try to practice tough love ("You are on an allowance missy!"). Step two is to learn the proper way to communicate with someone who's in a downward spiral ("Here are some of my best memories of you. I'd like to get back to that.") - basically, follow the advice of experts who lead drug addiction interventions. Watch an episode or two of that tv show
Intervention and you'll learn a lot about how to only say positive things to a person in chaos who needs help but doesn't want help.
As for never having loved your wife, perhaps you shouldn't worry about that right now. It's best not to get emotional about stuff like that sometimes. Romantic love is just a Western concept anyway. There are tons of people in Eastern cultures who get married through arranged marriages to people they never fell in love with and who are happy with the results. Just do what you've been doing so far and enjoy the company of your son with her.
My perspective on divorce is that it's too soon to be thinking about that. This is one hiccup. I think you said $12k in debt, right? There are people who don't realize they're in trouble until they are $100k in debt. THEN, they realize the error of their ways and become debt fighting machines. People DO change, it's just usually slowly over time. It might end up that divorce is the right option, but part of being a responsible adult is being patient. And, right now, in this instance, it is YOUR responsibility to be the responsible adult. I think you'd be surprised how quickly her getting a $40k/yr job she LIKES will make a difference.
Anyway, that's the perspective of someone who has been through a downward spiral before. A good job fixed it temporarily. Better communication fixed it later on in a more permanent manner. And I didn't have to pay a psychologist.