My parents are in huge debt hole. My dad has been out of work, no pay for six months due to on the job injury. They are 2 months behind on mortgage. My mom brings home like $1,200 a month. He just got his L & I claim denial and we are meeting a lawyer next week.
Recently, we have been throwing around the idea that they build an ADU on my uncle's property. My uncle is homebound, and is getting worse. Disabled and needs more support. But they had 1,000 reasons not to and the way they get around things (the way they always get away with not making decisions) is lack of information.
I decided that wasn't going to work this time. I spent the last few days researching everything. I went to the county. I have the restrictions/allowances. I researched their home's value. I know their debt. I told them I was coming tonight to give them a 5-10 minute presentation. I'm trying to figure out how to make it really sink in.
Situation is thus: Uncle needs more support - they are broke. This will solve everything.
Current debt load:
235,000 mortgage
25,0000 credit cards
25,000 5th wheel.
Repayments approx $3,300 a month on $285,000 debt.
Sell house for $290,000 (possibly more. There have been bidding wars in their neighborhood). Walk away with $50,000. Pay off CC. Keep remaining $25,000 for site prep. Live in the 5th wheel during the building process. Buy small manufactured home for $60,000 or less.
Future debt load:
60,000 mortgage
25,000 5th wheel (which they can pay off quickly once $1,300 CC payments are gone).
Saved themselves $200,000. Help support my aging uncle, which they have to do anyway. Now the family has one lot to maintain instead of two (good for my brother who ends up doing most of the work). My uncle's property is set up in a way that is conducive to still feeling independent of each other, so private.
Can anyone tell me if there are issues with using the money from the home sale for CC/site prep? Do they have to pay taxes on that?
How can I make them really *get* this? My parents are children. I have been my parent's parent for most of my life. My uncle has enabled them for years by giving them $ off and on and supporting their horrible spending habits. My dad is now permanently disabled and is going to be unable to work. My mom works part time because of her health problems. They just seem to think they can float along and things will eventually work out - because they ALWAYS have due to enabler's intervention. And maybe my telling them to do this and doing the leg work is another example, but it's TOO STRESSFUL for me to constantly worry about them. My body is raging in protest (stomach/back problems from stress). I decided to set limits on what I would do. Complete the things I wanted, and then I'd leave them be. I got their CC's transferred to no interest for 20+ month CC's. I found info on their house, I did adu research, I helped clean out their garage and sell things. And after this presentation, I'm done. There is nothing else I can do. They now can make informed decisions on their own.
Am I being selfish in pushing this fix on them? I just want them safe and secure. My mom has no retirement. My dad has some, but he can't access it and the city is fighting him on his injury because it's cumulative and not like, one incident. It's really appalling. My dad walks hunched, can't stand long, can't sit long, can't sleep, and limps, has had unending injections in his spine and is on loads of pain meds, but the "independent" medical exams keep saying he is totally fine. FINE? I'm not a doctor, I can see he isn't FINE.
They have no real assets. They won't sell the 5th wheel because they are afraid they will end up living in it, but their inaction is why they would end up in there.
I just....how to convince the children/parents that they can't have everything they want/think they deserve? That this isn't a sacrifice, that it's a gain? Any advice would be appreciated. I'm so IN it, that I'm not sure I can present it in the best fashion.
*I know we'd have to get the house payments caught up to sell, and financing the mobile may not be straightforward with dad's issues right now, but we'd figure that out somehow. That could be managed in the future, over time.