Author Topic: Help me help my mother?  (Read 768 times)

Tango-16

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Help me help my mother?
« on: April 12, 2019, 07:24:36 PM »
[EDIT]Folks,

Thank you both very much for your replies. Looks like I'm going to have to knock out the nitty gritty with both of them in very frank discussions before approaching you all in a request for a plan. That's my fault, I should have realized that.

I will be back with more information at a future date. Until then, cannot wait to keep learning from everyone on the forum and from the blogs!

Thanks again guys!
« Last Edit: April 13, 2019, 06:37:18 AM by Tango-16 »

Frankies Girl

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Re: Help me help my mother?
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2019, 07:57:05 PM »
1. This was not a long post. Actually, MORE details are needed to provide any real help.

2. NO. NO RAMSEY. Dave Ramsey is okay for getting people out of debt if they are terrible with debt. But he is absolute garbage with investing and retirement. He shills for high fee/loaded funds and he's just.... say no to Ramsey for investing/retirement planning, okay?



Your mom first off would need to ask you for help. Do not presume to step in and direct if your help isn't actually wanted. Second, you need real data. HOW MUCH does she actually have, and WHERE is it all located, and WHAT it is invested in (stocks/bonds/annuities - tickers would be great if you can find them).

Your mom needs to also provide things like:

working? Income currently?

expenses? Does she have a real budget that shows actual tracking of all things going out, or is it vauge and sort of just willy-nilly?

will she collect social security? was she married long enough to get social security from her former spouse?

despite her not wanting any of her ex's money, she may be entitled to things like 401ks legally. It's foolish to not take what is rightfully hers and earned as part of being married to a person and splitting their assets and all. Find out if there is anything like this, and then think HARD about turning this down.


So really, we need a budget, expenses, asset breakdown (in detail), debts, and future plans. You may even want to check out how to do a full case study and get real insight and a good gameplan in place for her.

Another Reader

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Re: Help me help my mother?
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2019, 08:27:13 PM »
So, what does dad have to say about the situation?  Was the split mutually decided or did she just walk away?  If the divorce order is finalized and she got nothing, she and you will have a lot of problems to solve.  Since you will bear the burden of caring for her at least in part, perhaps a detailed and frank discussion with dad is in order.

It will be a lot easier for you to figure out her options once you figure out what she has.  In the meantime, stay away from those Dave Ramsey ELP's.  They will line their pockets at your mom's expense. 

Tango-16

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Re: Help me help my mother?
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2019, 08:33:58 PM »
Folks,

Thank you both very much for your replies. Looks like I'm going to have to knock out the nitty gritty with both of them in very frank discussions before approaching you all in a request for a plan. That's my fault, I should have realized that.

I will be back with more information at a future date. Until then, cannot wait to keep learning from everyone on the forum and from the blogs!

Thanks again guys,
Tango-16
« Last Edit: April 13, 2019, 06:37:05 AM by Tango-16 »

MayDay

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Re: Help me help my mother?
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2019, 05:52:06 AM »
Gentlemen?

Tango-16

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Re: Help me help my mother?
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2019, 06:37:52 AM »
Gentlemen?

Changed my original ignorant and politically incorrect term.

plog

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Re: Help me help my mother?
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2019, 06:47:15 AM »
Changed everything about this post and now this thread has no value.

Big disservice to the community and those in the future who might face a similar situation.