Help Finding Banking Solution for Disabled Sibling

[NextTime]

I have a brother with schizophrenia. He refuses to take medicine (as so many do), so for all intents and purposes, he is disabled. It's probably been 7 years since he's taken medication.
The disease developed when he was around 16, but really got bad after he graduated from college.

It's a terrible, horrible disease that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but he does absolutely nothing to make his situation better and has been enabled his entire life. My parents have financially supported him with whatever he wants to supplement his SSI. With my father deceased and mother dealing with dementia, for the last four years my sister and I have had to deal with the situation.

Since he never really worked that much, he was getting the minimum for SSI, until a few days ago, when he let me know he lost the SSI benefits because he missed some meeting. My mother's credit card, which he had been using, also expired at the end of June. So currently he has no money coming in and is running out of cash. He spends quite a bit of money on cigarettes, alcohol, and weed. He is also entitled and doesn't appreciate a fucking thing anyone does for him.

I'm not sure why I needed to write all that out. I guess I just needed to vent.

Anyway, what I'm asking for, is help on finding some kind of debit card/credit card we could get for him, where he would only be allowed to spend a certain amount of money per month. It would have to be something that wouldn't charge an overage, but would basically just decline any transaction once he is out of money for the month.

Any suggestions?
Also, any type of professional that helps guide people through stuff like this?  I do not have the capacity to take care of this person right now, let alone for the rest of my life. I have my own mental health to take care of. I already have to run my own household (two young children) as well as take care of my mother and all her medical and financial affairs. I sympathize with his situation, but this is affecting my mental health and mood, which causes me to be short and angry with my wife and children at times. And that is something I do NOT want to continue, as my relationship with them is everything to me. I am taking an antidepressant for the first time in 15 years. I don't feel depressed (despair), just irritable a lot of the time, but I guess it manifests itself in different ways. I also need to start looking for a therapist again.

My mother has about $1.5M in investments, and brings in around $65k in pensions and social security per year, which is far more than she spends, even with my brother's mooching. So I am willing to pay a professional to help with all this, if such a person exists.

Options please?
I'm at my wits end.

[Paul der Krake]

There are prepaid card products for teenagers. Parents can set up controls and spending limits from a different interface. That could work as a low cost solution that doesn't involve lawyers. Here are a couple names to get you started: FamZoo, American Express Bluebird, Copper Banking. There are a lot out there.

I know it's easier said than done, but try to distance yourself from your sibling's failures. It's not your fault.

[Sugaree]

Greenlight, maybe?  I'm looking at something like this for my kid.  I think there are some debit cards specifically targeted towards people in drug recovery, but I've heard the fees on those are fairly high.

[Sibley]

You might see if you can find a case worker that could help, or at least give you some tips. However, you may be in a situation where not much can legally be done unless your brother wants it done.

My neighbor has schizophrenia. He's elderly now and poor health has decreased the behavior problems. Regardless, he has spent some time in the mental ward on several occasions. The police are well aware of him (he used to be quite disruptive, and violent at times). I know his siblings are involved, because they show up after the police show up. It appears to me that they've resigned themselves to the fact that they can't really fix things. If their brother chooses to get drunk or high, or go off his meds, it is what it is. The point is - take care of yourself. Your brother's problems will not go away until he dies. If he won't cooperate, then there isn't much you can do.

Mental illness sucks.

[NextTime]

There are prepaid card products for teenagers. Parents can set up controls and spending limits from a different interface. That could work as a low cost solution that doesn't involve lawyers. Here are a couple names to get you started: FamZoo, American Express Bluebird, Copper Banking. There are a lot out there.

I know it's easier said than done, but try to distance yourself from your sibling's failures. It's not your fault.

That AMEX bluebird looks like exactly what I was looking for.  Thank you.

I don't blame myself at all. I want to help, but not at the expense of my own health. And I won't continue the level of enabling to which he has grown accustomed.

[NextTime]

You might see if you can find a case worker that could help, or at least give you some tips. However, you may be in a situation where not much can legally be done unless your brother wants it done.

My neighbor has schizophrenia. He's elderly now and poor health has decreased the behavior problems. Regardless, he has spent some time in the mental ward on several occasions. The police are well aware of him (he used to be quite disruptive, and violent at times). I know his siblings are involved, because they show up after the police show up. It appears to me that they've resigned themselves to the fact that they can't really fix things. If their brother chooses to get drunk or high, or go off his meds, it is what it is. The point is - take care of yourself. Your brother's problems will not go away until he dies. If he won't cooperate, then there isn't much you can do.

Mental illness sucks.

Yup.

My sister contacted the lawyer that helped him set up the SSI years ago. Hopefully they will be able to fix it. Otherwise we have to wait a year.

[Spiffy]

If you get a card meant for teens, be aware that they might not be able to be used everywhere. My kids have the Capitol One card and if you try to use it somewhere that serves alcohol, it might be declined. But not every time, which makes it more annoying because you never know.

[oldladystache]

Why not just open a regular checking account with an ATM card, then have your regular bank account automatically transfer a certain amount every day/week/month?

Probably be best to not have it at a bank where you have other accounts. And be sure they won't allow overdrafts.

[terran]

Prepaid cards won't work if you want him to get the full SSI benefit (although it sounds like there are other problems with that). If he receives "in-kind support or maintenance," (ISM) which means food or shelter or anything that could be used to buy food or shelter he'll lose 1/3 of the SSI he would otherwise be eligible for. If he lives with your parents this might already be happening, in which case it might not matter. There is also a $2000 asset limit that will cause him to completely lose SSI until he spends down below the limit. There are exclusions like a car, personal affects, or a house. Any kind of gift card or prepaid card can cause issues with both ISM and asset limits.

Since credit cards are debt, that's fine since you (or whoever) can pay them off after confirming they weren't used for food or housing. My American Express card appears to allow a spending limit to be set on authorized user cards, but I haven't tried it.

You or your mom might want to look into setting up both a special needs trust and an ABLE account before he might inherit anything as that can protect his benefits, and give you or another trustee control of the assets, but still help pay for things for him. A special needs trust has the same rules about not paying for ISM to avoid cutting benefits, but the ABLE account can pay for housing related expenses and maybe food too, and the trust can contribute to the ABLE account, so with some hoop jumping it's pretty unrestricted. You'd probably want to talk to an elder law attorney for this.

[Freedomin5]

You need more than just a banking solution for your brother. Even if you give him a prepaid card, he will spend it all on alcohol/cigs/weed, and then come to you for more money to pay for rent/food.

You need wraparound support services since your brother is non-compliant with medications. Check out the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). They have a helpline that you can call to ask for advice that is specific to your state.

The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.–8 p.m., ET.
1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org

The NAMI website is: https://www.nami.org/help

You can also look up your local NAMI chapter by state. Since your mother is no longer capable of being his legal guardian, and you're not able to take on the responsibility at the moment, the state may have to assign him a guardian. Your local NAMI chapter would be able to walk you through how to get that set up, as well as provide hospital and community resources to support not just your brother, but you as well.

For example, you may want to join the NAMI Family Support Group for adults with a family member who has a severe mental illness.

There are several other organizations out there to support family members and people with schizophrenia. I would start with NAMI and ask them to provide recommendations for local resources.

[NextTime]

Prepaid cards won't work if you want him to get the full SSI benefit (although it sounds like there are other problems with that). If he receives "in-kind support or maintenance," (ISM) which means food or shelter or anything that could be used to buy food or shelter he'll lose 1/3 of the SSI he would otherwise be eligible for. If he lives with your parents this might already be happening, in which case it might not matter. There is also a $2000 asset limit that will cause him to completely lose SSI until he spends down below the limit. There are exclusions like a car, personal affects, or a house. Any kind of gift card or prepaid card can cause issues with both ISM and asset limits.

Since credit cards are debt, that's fine since you (or whoever) can pay them off after confirming they weren't used for food or housing. My American Express card appears to allow a spending limit to be set on authorized user cards, but I haven't tried it.

You or your mom might want to look into setting up both a special needs trust and an ABLE account before he might inherit anything as that can protect his benefits, and give you or another trustee control of the assets, but still help pay for things for him. A special needs trust has the same rules about not paying for ISM to avoid cutting benefits, but the ABLE account can pay for housing related expenses and maybe food too, and the trust can contribute to the ABLE account, so with some hoop jumping it's pretty unrestricted. You'd probably want to talk to an elder law attorney for this.

I don't have all of the details, but my brother called and somehow got his SSI reinstated. So that's good.
I still want to limit the amount my mother gives him each month because when she is gone, he will have to live on much less than he currently does.
He previously had my mother's credit card which he used for whatever. It expired at the end of June and I want to give him something with more limits.

I didn't know about the ISM thing. So anything grocery store/restaurant related he put on my mother's credit card goes against ISM?

My parents set up a trust 6 or 7 years ago that kicks in once both of them are gone.  I am not an expert on the trust and admit I should probably brush up on it a little more.
But there is something in the trust that states upon their deaths that a special needs trust will be set up for my brother. My sister is the executor.

The ABLE account sounds interesting. I've never heard of it. But does it apply to my brother's situation?  The schizophrenia emerged when he was around 15-16. However, he was able to graduate from college (after many years) and didn't go on SSI until about 4 years ago (well past the onset age of 26 for the ABLE account), as he was living with my parents and they took care of everything. He's 36 years old now. So what would be his onset of disability?

[kite]

Get started on the special needs trust now, or at minimum find out if it is indeed already established and just gets funded when your mother dies.  If he inherits directly, it could eff up his Medicaid eligibility.  If that’s what he’s using for health insurance (and I’d expect so if he’s getting SSI) that can be more valuable than his SSI stipend.   

My sympathies. We’ve dealt with this in family members and with dementia.  Oh, and the alcoholism that is oh so common, too.  It’s an endless challenge to remain 3 steps ahead and prevent or put out all the little fires. Take care of your health and wellbeing above all else and go easy on yourself when you don’t get it all done.

[NextTime]

Get started on the special needs trust now, or at minimum find out if it is indeed already established and just gets funded when your mother dies.  If he inherits directly, it could eff up his Medicaid eligibility.  If that’s what he’s using for health insurance (and I’d expect so if he’s getting SSI) that can be more valuable than his SSI stipend.   

My sympathies. We’ve dealt with this in family members and with dementia.  Oh, and the alcoholism that is oh so common, too.  It’s an endless challenge to remain 3 steps ahead and prevent or put out all the little fires. Take care of your health and wellbeing above all else and go easy on yourself when you don’t get it all done.

Reading the trust document is like trying to decipher another language to me.

In the Article that refers to the death of both "settlors", is a section called "Brother's Name Special Needs Trust".

It's about 5 pages long and states the following:
The special needs trust assets are not intended to be and are not brother's assets.
Brother has no right to revoke the trust or direct the use of the trust assets for his own support or maintenance.

So this means it is established, correct?

[terran]

I didn't know about the ISM thing. So anything grocery store/restaurant related he put on my mother's credit card goes against ISM?

Yes. I don't know how closely they look, but at least if they're caught then it would apply. It only results in a 1/3rd reduction (so from $794 down to $529 or thereabouts), so it might not be the end of the world if there are other resources available. If he's living with your mom he might already be receiving the reduced amount, in which case it wouldn't matter.

My parents set up a trust 6 or 7 years ago that kicks in once both of them are gone.  I am not an expert on the trust and admit I should probably brush up on it a little more.
But there is something in the trust that states upon their deaths that a special needs trust will be set up for my brother. My sister is the executor.

It sounds like they've probably already taken care of it then. Your sister should at least familiarize herself with it since she'll be trustee, especially the rules about ISM that apply just as much to the trust as they would to an individual giving assistance.

The ABLE account sounds interesting. I've never heard of it. But does it apply to my brother's situation?  The schizophrenia emerged when he was around 15-16. However, he was able to graduate from college (after many years) and didn't go on SSI until about 4 years ago (well past the onset age of 26 for the ABLE account), as he was living with my parents and they took care of everything. He's 36 years old now. So what would be his onset of disability?

It wouldn't be as clear cut as if he'd been on SSI since before he turned 26 since that would mean the government was the one that had confirmed his diagnoses young enough, but as long as you can assemble documentation like medical records that he was disabled by age 26 then you should be fine. I think I've seen that ABLE account providers only request a self certification. Just like with a retirement plan I wouldn't want to get into the mess that would surely ensue if it was later determined he wasn't eligible, so I'd want to make sure appropriate documentation was assembled before opening/using the account.

One thing to note is that and ABLE account, like a self settled special needs trust can be taken by the government at death to pay for medicaid benefits provided during the persons lifetime. This isn't true for a 3rd party special needs trust (meaning funded with someone else's money) like what your parents have set up, so while the trust can be more work/money to set up and manage it is better for money that might outlast the disabled person. Even if the ABLE account isn't funded most of the time, it can still be useful as a conduit since it gets around some (all?) of the ISM issues.

Sorry I'm a little foggy on some of this. My sister is disabled and I'm the trustee of a special needs trust my grandparents set up, but we haven't yet set up an ABLE account since so far it hasn't been necessary.

[kite]

Get started on the special needs trust now, or at minimum find out if it is indeed already established and just gets funded when your mother dies.  If he inherits directly, it could eff up his Medicaid eligibility.  If that’s what he’s using for health insurance (and I’d expect so if he’s getting SSI) that can be more valuable than his SSI stipend.   

My sympathies. We’ve dealt with this in family members and with dementia.  Oh, and the alcoholism that is oh so common, too.  It’s an endless challenge to remain 3 steps ahead and prevent or put out all the little fires. Take care of your health and wellbeing above all else and go easy on yourself when you don’t get it all done.

Reading the trust document is like trying to decipher another language to me.

In the Article that refers to the death of both "settlors", is a section called "Brother's Name Special Needs Trust".

It's about 5 pages long and states the following:
The special needs trust assets are not intended to be and are not brother's assets.
Brother has no right to revoke the trust or direct the use of the trust assets for his own support or maintenance.

So this means it is established, correct?

Seems that way.  I'm not a lawyer.
Probably worth the cost of a visit with the lawyer who set up the trust to understand how it is meant to work. And to ensure your own financial affairs are as as firmly established.

[Dicey]

PTF, because except for age and gender, we are about to face this in DH's family, now that his mother and her pal, Al Z. Heimer, have passed. Ugh. You have my deepest sympathies.

[luchorpan]

You or your mom might want to look into setting up both a special needs trust and an ABLE account before he might inherit anything as that can protect his benefits, and give you or another trustee control of the assets, but still help pay for things for him. A special needs trust has the same rules about not paying for ISM to avoid cutting benefits, but the ABLE account can pay for housing related expenses and maybe food too, and the trust can contribute to the ABLE account, so with some hoop jumping it's pretty unrestricted. You'd probably want to talk to an elder law attorney for this.

This! Make sure your mother’s estate planning is all set. SSI will be jeopardized if your brother has too many assets. You and your sister can be set up as trustees for the special needs trust. The attorney who helped get SSI set up could be helpful, or there may be resources through your local advocacy orgs (e.g. ARC)

[NextTime]

You or your mom might want to look into setting up both a special needs trust and an ABLE account before he might inherit anything as that can protect his benefits, and give you or another trustee control of the assets, but still help pay for things for him. A special needs trust has the same rules about not paying for ISM to avoid cutting benefits, but the ABLE account can pay for housing related expenses and maybe food too, and the trust can contribute to the ABLE account, so with some hoop jumping it's pretty unrestricted. You'd probably want to talk to an elder law attorney for this.

This! Make sure your mother’s estate planning is all set. SSI will be jeopardized if your brother has too many assets. You and your sister can be set up as trustees for the special needs trust. The attorney who helped get SSI set up could be helpful, or there may be resources through your local advocacy orgs (e.g. ARC)

Estate planning, including the special needs trust are already set up.