So, to put it in perspective, you wrote "$15k left, it's almost paid off" for the expensive car.
$15k is not almost paid off. As a percentage of the purchase price, maybe. But dollar value, no. (For the record, the most I've ever spend on any car was $18k, for a new Honda Civic).
Break the lease, sell the car with the big payment, replace with a used smaller vehicle. Civic. Maybe a Matrix (the two cars we own). Matrix has more space and gets better gas mileage for us.
I'd stay where you are renting, especially if you've been there awhile. I'd suggest a 1BR, but often once you've been in a place, your rent hasn't gone up like market rents, and going to market is worse.
Otherwise, I'd aim for the following:
Cut out cable and replace with Netflix.
Cut down on personal care. $160 for two people? That's awfully high. We spend way less than that for four people.
Cut your eating out in half.
Do some research on salary.com on what your wife should be making, and have her go in armed with info on the next review. I did that for my husband on his first review, and after the boss grumbled and suggested he look elsewhere - he slept on it overnight - and doubled the raise. Sadly, it's never worked for me. My bosses are either the go-getter types who treat their people well and pay them, or misers who say FU. (Right now I'm looking for a new boss.)