Congratulations on your new daughter! I am glad to hear that mom and baby are doing well.
My husband and I ran in to something similar when our son was born in 2014. First, on a separate note, this is going to be a hard time for you and your wife as everything feels so out of your control. If you have someone who can come and help out on the home front- cooking meals to eat when you get home at 10pm, freezer meals, cleaning, setting up crib/items at home, etc it makes this time a little easier. Also, no matter how well you think your wife is doing, please be there for her emotionally and urge her to talk to someone if needed. I still tear up to this day thinking about leaving my son in the NICU, while I was discharged from the hospital. It was one of the worst days of my life- I blamed myself for his NICU stay and was physically and emotionally drained with the expectations of new motherhood. Please take care of your wife and yourself, I am sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!
**Disclaimer: Please make sure to call your company to figure your own policies out.** On the insurance side, my husband and I also had separate health insurance policies; I decided to add my son to my insurance and everything bumped up to the family deductibles (for the 2 of us): $4500 ded/ $11,000 max OOP. In the end, we had to pay *only* the $11k max OOP for my family deductible. Everything that I had paid toward my individual deductible, was moved to the family deductible once my son was added. Also, I am sure you know, but make sure you add your daughter within the allotted time frame for life events.
Finally, as a small heads up. Even though I delivered at an in-network hospital, the NICU was run by another company who was considered out of network; meaning I received a NICU bill in the mid 6 figures. I called my insurance company and explained that I had no choice of NICU, as it was in the hospital where I delivered. They told me that I had to dispute the bill twice and then they will generally accept the charges as in-network- which worked!! PM me if you have any other questions :)