Have you ever convinced someone to change their non-mustachian ways?

[Omy]

I have a family member who spends everything she earns...and then some. She buys into every MLM scheme, she leases an expensive car, she buys gifts for everyone (she's extremely generous)...and so many shoes and articles of clothing for herself. She has a ton of home decorations. And she regularly complains about having no money and that she'll never be able to retire (age 57 now).

I'd love to coach her into mustachian ways, but it seems impossible when she's so invested in spending every penny.

Have you ever gotten through to someone like this? If so, what did you say or do that made an impact?

[HPstache]

I facilitate the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University.  I have seen about 1/3-1/2 of the 100 or so students I've worked with over the last 5 years or so make really meaningful shifts from their non-mustachian ways to a life of spending less than they make, paying down debt and saving for the future.  I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to show someone the basics of personal finance.

[DaMa]

Have you ever gotten through to someone like this? If so, what did you say or do that made an impact?

No.  My SIL is much as you described.  Last year, she decided to keep her mini-Christmas tree up and change newly bought decorations on it monthly.  She spent over $300 doing a little fairy garden in her background.

I do have friends that I have helped, but they were all somewhat frugal already.

[cool7hand]

One rarely convinces another to make radical changes. It's much more likely that you serve as an example to those who have suffered enough doing things one way to try another.

[SwordGuy]

I've shown a number of people the MMM information and they've run with it.   But they already had their act together and just needed a better plan than they already had.

I have no idea how to get thru to people who don't already want a change for the better.

[DaTrill]

Two to five.  I only share FI status/techniques when asked.  One person paid off student loans in 4 months they had carried for 10 years. Another increased savings from 20% to 80% after I shared my savings rate.  A few others changed investments from terrible default option to only low-cost option at one employer.   

Never heard/observed a successful "Financial Intervention" usually the opposite transpires after an attempted intervention.  Maybe need a FI 12-step program? 

From people asking for help, most common response is "That won't work for me".  Can't speculate on the success rate for unrequested help.       

[TheAnonOne]

Two to five.  I only share FI status/techniques when asked.  One person paid off student loans in 4 months they had carried for 10 years. Another increased savings from 20% to 80% after I shared my savings rate.  A few others changed investments from terrible default option to only low-cost option at one employer.   

Never heard/observed a successful "Financial Intervention" usually the opposite transpires after an attempted intervention.  Maybe need a FI 12-step program? 

From people asking for help, most common response is "That won't work for me".  Can't speculate on the success rate for unrequested help.       

I can: 0%

[goat_music_generator]

Yes, I have a friend who became more Mustachian and eventually retired.

We were coworkers and earning the same amount of money when we met. I explained our early-retirement plans to them (not trying to convert, just telling them how we were doing it). They found that extremely convincing, and eventually decided to go down the same path.

[herbgeek]

I don't understand why someone would insert themself without being asked.   Because it sounds pompous and presumptuous to me that someone would tell me how I should be living my life.  Unless your money/reputation/future  was on the line, why would you do this?

[Omy]

Because I love her and she has anxiety about not having enough money.

[SailingOnASmallSailboat]

Maybe one way to open a conversation is just to state what you did here. "I love you and you seem to be perpetually worried about money. Do you want me to see if I can help?"

[Adventine]

Maybe one way to open a conversation is just to state what you did here. "I love you and you seem to be perpetually worried about money. Do you want me to see if I can help?"

This is a good way to gently open up the conversation.


People don't change unless they're ready. And even then, the changes they make may not be to a degree that would satisfy a Mustachian.

[Omy]

Maybe one way to open a conversation is just to state what you did here. "I love you and you seem to be perpetually worried about money. Do you want me to see if I can help?"

That is a lovely way to state it. I will try that next time she brings it up.

[SailingOnASmallSailboat]

I hope it helps. Please keep us posted.

[FLBiker]

Maybe one way to open a conversation is just to state what you did here. "I love you and you seem to be perpetually worried about money. Do you want me to see if I can help?"

That is a lovely way to state it. I will try that next time she brings it up.

This is good.  For me (someone in recovery) this always feels very analogous to addiction.  If someone truly wants to help themselves, it's possible to help them.  However, not everyone who complains about an area of their life being out of control really wants to help themselves, though.  Sometimes, they just want to complain.  It sucks to watch someone you love engage in harmful behaviors, but it ultimately isn't in our control.

That being said, I think the above approach is a good one.  You can open the door, but they have to walk through it.