My update:
I sat down with dear daughter for a couple of hours last night. My tone was warm and respectful. I explained that I got into trouble with credit cards in my twenties and that I was really proud of her for asking for help. I started with asking her "What are you goals for money in 2017?
She said - "keep up my current savings, pay off at least half of the credit card, buy a new laptop and save for a down payment on a condo after the credit card is paid off (eventually, not necessarily this year)"
I then asked her "how do you feel about your credit card debt and how do you feel about your ability to manage money?" She said she felt anxious, that it really surprised her to look at how a bunch of little purchases (food, makeup, treats, shopping on Amazon) really added up. She then handed me her credit card (I didn't even have to ask!!!) and told me to hold onto it for her as she would not be charging anything until her debt was paid in full!!!
We then got into the weeds as she looked up her paystub online (I explained to her what each line item was -showed her the amount in gross pay, fed tax, her 401K savings, the amount already on autopilot ($400 biweekly) being directed to savings and finally told her what her take home pay was (an average of $450 biweekly was left after all the deductions). Then we looked up her savings account balances. She has about $400 in the "debit card" savings account and there is $3,000 in the savings account under my control (built from the autopilot "sweep" each pay period).
So she has $3,400 in savings, will continue to add $800 a month to savings, saves 10% into a company Roth 401k with a 4% company match and vows to cease all use of the credit card.
Then we looked at expenses. The good news was they were not awful. An $85 a month car insurance payment, and $85 a month cell phone bill (she is not interested in switching to Cricket - which is what I have - at this time as she is on a contract, etc.) plus she estimates she spends $80 a month on gas. She also had a $10 a month iTunes and a $10 a month HULU expense which she cancelled last night so they are both gone. She is keeping a $10 a month XBOX charge to game online with friends as this is something she does every day and brings her a lot of joy. She (for now) wants to budget $100 a week for fun (coffees, eating out, movies, hanging out with friends, etc.) She thinks this might be more than she needs but she is basically switching over to a cash based spending plan so she will take out $240 in cash each biweekly pay period for fun and gas, pay her three bills with her debit card and not touch her credit card. She also vowed not to ask me for $100 or $200 withdrawals from her savings account (which is in my name and which she does not have access to).
So - to summarize - average monthly take home:
$900
average monthly expenses:
$85 car insur
$85 phone
$400 fun
$80 gas
$10 XBOX
which leaves $240 a month for debt repayment (paying off the credit card) - which has zero interest until June, 2017 - which means it would take her a little over a year to pay off at that rate.
Two amazing things happened next:
DD said she was going to tell her friends that she was on a strict budget and her plan was to see if she could stay well under the $100 a week fun money line item (saying - "if I could not spend $100 a month on that I could put it on my credit card.) She said she could cook at home and invite friends over instead of always going out! (She already does this from time to time.)
and
she thought about taking on a weekend job (she used to be a grocery store cashier) - just for six months to speed up the debt payoff. She decided to hold on going back to the grocery store and opted to place an ad on our local town FaceBook advertising herself as a babysitter. Here where we live she can earn $12 an hour as a babysitter.
She thanked me for not being judgmental and for my help and we talked about it again briefly this morning. It was a great start. I am cautiously optimistic that she might really take off with this new way of thinking about spending and saving.
Thanks to all who weighed in - great input and advice!!