Author Topic: Mustachian adoption?  (Read 3153 times)

shusherstache

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Mustachian adoption?
« on: February 28, 2013, 10:41:39 AM »
Following up from the Divorce Disaster thread, I'd love to hear about your experiences and/or plans to adopt.  If you did it in the past, what considerations did you make for expenses and how did you do it?  If you're planning on it, how are your goals coming along?

As previously mentioned, we're planning on a US state foster care adoption and working with a local group that directly works with foster agencies to reduce expenses.  They provide support and services leading up to and following after adoption, and I've been volunteering with them for over a year now to get an idea of their sensibilities.

Norman Johnson

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Re: Mustachian adoption?
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2013, 10:49:33 AM »
I can not comment on the US systems as I'm from Canada, but I wanted to wish you luck and speed on your journey! :D

AJ

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Re: Mustachian adoption?
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2013, 11:05:40 AM »
Have you ever had foster kids? If so, and you know what you're getting in to, then adopting from the foster care system is a GREAT way to go. It is far and away the cheapest option for adoption, and those are the kids that really do have a true NEED (as opposed to infant adoption or even overseas <5 yrs adoption, for which there are massive wait lists).

But I would strongly encourage you to foster first if you haven't done so already. While we'd all love to believe that "all kids need is love" it just isn't reality. These kids have suffered so much - first, by whatever trauma caused them to enter the foster system, and then again by being ripped away from their bio-parent(s), and maybe even again by being bumped from home to home within the system. Even the more mild stories are utterly heart-wrenching.

No amount of classes or instruction can prepare you for what it will be like the way that actually fostering can. Plus there is a huge need for good quality foster care parents.

shusherstache

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Re: Mustachian adoption?
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2013, 01:46:47 PM »
I've been directly volunteering with the agency I'd be working with for over a year now.  The kids I work with are the ones with severe attachment issues that are in the process of reestablishing trust, and I would be doing a basic foster-to-adopt program as opposed to foster-to-adopt from the pool of children I work with.  It's been a seriously eye-opening journey and not one to be taken lightly.

In addition, there are people in my family who were older foster-to-adopt children (keeping this anonymous, thanks for understanding) and I have had an intimate look into the frustrations, abandonment and trust issues, and so on that come with the territory.  What I like about the group I'm working with is that they provide therapy for all children and foster/adopt parents before and after adoption and work on creating a really amazing environment for a successful transition.

So, the next step for us is to start formally talking with the agency and discovering the timetable, estimated costs, and of course a TON of training that comes with being a foster parent.  I'd be happy to report back if there is interest on the subject as we proceed, though we've got a time table of about two years before we'd like to be fully ready.