The reality is, that when a server gets a shitty tip, they just assume you're a shitty tipper. So, if you are dissatisfied with the service you should definitely get a manager or tell them what you're unhappy about. Otherwise, they're just going to be pissed & assume you're an asshole & you've accomplished basically nothing.
Why would that be? They don't consider how their service could have been better? I keep hearing that I should talk to the manager, but I feel like that's the nuclear option.
Because it's easier to assume that the customer is an asshole than that you made a mistake I guess. I never really understood it.
No, I think it's because they think
if you were dissatisfied with something, you would have told them (so that they could fix the problem) or the manager (ditto). Therefore, if you acted perfectly fine throughout the meal, seemed to like your food but left a shitty tip, the natural conclusion is that you're a shitty tipper.
I mean, think about it this way: Does it make ANY sense to act fine, say nothing, and leave a shitty tip? You're basically assuming that the server
will be able to guess which of her many actions or inactions, or which aspects of the food or the presentation, bothered you. Apart from being completely passive-aggressive, as a method of making someone improve, that is just
idiotic. If you were trying to train your dog not to shit in the house, would you just go through your entire day, watch him shit in the house, say nothing, and then swat him with a newspaper three hours later?
You can't cultivate better service by NOT telling people what was wrong with their service. That simply doesn't work. Therefore, if you don't tell them what's wrong, but simply eat your food and seem fine and then leave a shitty tip, the conclusion is you're an asshole--either because you're a shitty tipper, or because you must have been displeased with something but were too wimpy and passive-aggressive to let them know, or a mix of both.