Just a note, but I think scrubbyfish lives in Canada, where there are laws regarding common law marriage after two years I think.
Two years, one year, or a few months, depending on which set(s) of laws apply in one's situation, as well as which province they live in, etc.
Also, in the US, it generally requires more than just cohabitation, but also holding yourself out as a married couple.
The "presenting oneself as married" factors in somewhat here, too, but the various government departments can make a very loose case around this. My big, scary wake-up call was cemented for me when I read federal income tax court cases (details available online, free). It was mind-blowing what relationships the government was managing to reframe so as to reduce benefits or impose higher taxes. All totally well and good
if people know what they're getting into when they become "roommates" or "landlord/tenant" or "friends living together".
Same sex, opposite sex, no sex, past sex, future sex...presenting selves as roommates, presenting selves as friends, presenting selves as tenant/landlord...sharing finances, not sharing finances...all these nuances have been addressed. The Canadian government, at least, is now also onto the "Living Alone Together" (LAT) approach. If the government believes two people are merged in even the loosest variation of "marriage-like", it can dictate financial rules accordingly. This can quite dramatically impact a person's finances.
In at least one case, two people lived in a big house with a bunch of others, eventually became a couple and moved into their own place, and declared themselves common law (reducing their tax benefits) upon a year of living together in a marriage-like relationship, as required by the relevant law. The government sued them for
past tax liabilities on the presentation that they were really common law the years they had both been in a shared house -despite their protestations that they hadn't been a couple during those years.
Reading the cases made clear for me that the government is serious about increasing a tax liability for couples, and will get very, er, stretchy in interpreting two people's relationship in order to be able to do so. That is to say, it's not just how we see or present ourselves, or what relationship we negotiate privately with a partner. In some regions, there's a third character in the cohabitation/finances picture, whether we want there to be or not.
And then, all the same cautions apply if we're establishing a landlord/tenant relationship! We can become responsible for things we may not want to be responsible for, required to give a person oodles of notice if we want to take the space back to ourselves or be penalized heftily, etc.
A primary criteria for me now in living with someone is that they are willing to know the laws that apply in any potential scenario, rather than just wing it, assume laws don't apply or ignore them, etc. Just too risky in my case, and I think for at least a few others, too.
