Author Topic: Got the advice ./ Should I use my F/U money?///  (Read 12694 times)

Mesmoiselle

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Got the advice ./ Should I use my F/U money?///
« on: October 09, 2015, 04:15:35 PM »
Some background: A coworker berated me for 20 minutes back in May. I applied for a lucrative temp job, got it, and put in my notice happily. At the last minute, the job and I mutually decided to keep me "on staff;" they liked me plenty even if my coworker didn't. I ended up doing temp jobs over the summer, made some really good money. But I came back because I had to take lab for chemistry to finish my degree. So, I came back, but told them I would probably leave again come December when classes ended.

Since I've come back, I've barely worked with the coworker but even so, she's managed to irritate me. She'd irritated me for years, but it wasn't until she berated me with witnesses that I just can't seem to emotionally deal with her at all. I immediately started collecting FU money, instead of paying down my pre MMM debt (39k mortgage/10k of school loans, no credit cards), because I thought being able to pull the trigger if it became too much would make me more patient about her. There's been some turnover lately, which means this coworker I don't get along with has been shifted to working with me. I was very alarmed about this, as I didn't look forward to 3 days a week of (working with her and then) needing to decompress after [each] day with her. So, I told management we needed to have a meeting so we could air the situation with management witnesses and maybe I could improve my working environment and stand to work with her. Today, I have my F.U. money. Today, we had that meeting.

The meeting involved my supervisors going in circles trying not to side with anyone and alienating me in the process. My manager lost his temper and raised his voice at me and said I was oversensitive. I am now more unhappy with my work and wished I hadn't bothered.

I have to stay in this city until December 14th at the latest due to class. All my bills are covered until the end of January and a little into February. If I put in my notice, I am walking away from about $4000-$5000 of earned income.

It's also very possible that I could go to weekends only, and due to the nature of weekends, pretty much never interact with any of these people again until I give them notice, whenever I land that temp job. The nature of the temp work, though, could mean I don't necessarily get it until March, because winter is a slow season.

TL;DR
Bad coworker and management yelled at me (literally.) I have F.U. money till February, but may need more than that due to erratic temp work. I'm seeking advice now, because I don't want to be so oversensitive I shoot myself in the foot, but I also don't want to be working with these people who cause me to feel like my work is low worth.

Edit add Explaination:

People have asked what she's done. She actively proselytized and brought up uncomfortable conservative politics e.g "baby murdering." The one time I asked her to stop discussing such topics she told me,"I wasn't talking to you." We're not in cubicles, she's 2 feet away from me. She accuses me of avoiding work, being inconsiderate, and compares me to others she likes more to my face on multiple occasions. She's homophobic, transphobic. I am completely self motivated and work independently often, but she feels the need to micro manage me anyway because she has opinions about what should be done in what order. And whereas I'm the sort to agree to disagree, (that's my default outside of personal intimate relationships) she feels the need to actively tell me I'm wrong. Has even sought management to side with her (they haven't in the things she's brought up). Her more recent annoyance was turning off the light in the office and assuming I can rely on a small lamp to do my paperwork. I considered this last part to be overly controlling of my work environment. And since her newly found preference deviated from the norm of years of well lit office, I thought this would merely be rectified with a complaint. Instead, I was told to compromise and they're getting me a brighter lamp. Which seems absurd. The default is lights on, and they're spending money to conform around her new found preference by getting a light when there are lights in the ceiling that are perfectly useable. I suppose the flipside is they're buying me a lamp so I can see better but I still shake my head.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2015, 12:39:28 PM by Mesmoiselle »

scottish

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2015, 04:21:31 PM »
Not sure.   When I was a software manager there was usually someone yelling at me.   I didn't take it to heart.

It might be  a good chance to learn to cope with difficult people.    You're going to be running into difficult people throughout life.  Learning to communicate with them and achieve something useful is a very good skill to have.    If it really doesn't work, then you can FU.

AZDude

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2015, 04:31:25 PM »
Manager yelled at you? That is bad news and you should not stand for it. Tell HR or upper management, see if you can straighten it out, but probably not much hope. Assess your prospects of another job, etc...


JLee

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2015, 04:36:33 PM »
Sounds like it's time to go directly to HR and bypass the management chain.

kib

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2015, 04:40:11 PM »
My thought is that FU money is meant to say "FU" to a situation created by an employer that makes your actual job intolerable.  Isn't using it to say FU to a co-worker, thereby cutting off your income supply, basically cutting off your nose to spite your face?  Why not say FU to the co-worker by *staying*, haha?   ETA:  I do agree to bring a grievance with HR if you felt your manager was out of line.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2015, 04:41:53 PM by frufrau »

AZDude

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2015, 04:55:50 PM »
Just remember, HR is only looking to limit the liability of the company, not to "help" you. So be careful what you say.

scottish

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2015, 05:00:18 PM »
That's for sure.   The job of HR is to protect the company from its employees in these cases.

BPA

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2015, 05:48:44 PM »
I'd choose the work weekends option until you get something better. 

My department head, who is actually not my boss, drives me nuts with passive aggression and grandiose superiority.  I can't wait to get out, so I know how you feel.

Mesmoiselle

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2015, 05:50:39 PM »
I doubt HR would help the situation. Especially since it's once, and it's the first time. Hardly a recurring issue that would warrant them bothering.

Yes, frufrau, that would be kinda hurting myself to make a point no one cares about.

And Scottish, I can hope it would be a good learning experience. I'm thinking I will just handle the work like I always do it and let people complain about me instead of my doing the complaining. I think the manager's are tolerant of "bad behavior" so long as it doesn't effect patients.  I've just never had to work with someone I literally knew thought I was lazy. I admit to being abrasive. But lazy is not something I am so it rankles.

Kriegsspiel

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2015, 05:52:37 PM »
1. Shit on your coworkers desk.
2. Drop the mic.
3. Execute "FU Money" exit.

dess1313

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #10 on: October 09, 2015, 06:02:06 PM »
just as a side note, if they are saying things they shouldn't when no one is around, start playing with your phone lots and have a recording app available for easy turning on!

I would consider the weekend jobs.  My favorite at work is night shift.  Way less BS goes on at night.
HR can be great or it can suck.  hard to prove he said she said stuff.  got any emails and stuff to prove your point?

Can you go part time or to another area and still make some $ and get away from the situation?

James

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #11 on: October 09, 2015, 06:53:15 PM »
You sound like you are "guiding" us down a specific road, like you are coaching us to say "Yes, user your FU money and leave your job". You leave out all sorts of relevant information. How much debt do you have? Is the irritation you have from your coworkers reasonable? Are you being overly sensitive? It sounds that way to me, and I have no reason to think that other than a gut feeling. You say it takes three days to recover just working with her, what exactly is she doing to have that affect on you?

It really sounds to me like you have issues that should be addressed as much as your work place problem. That doesn't absolve your workplace, but it does sound like something you should work through for your own benefit. Maybe ask for HR to sit with you and explore the situation, and honestly listen to see what they think. Obviously they may not side with you, but they may have some good feedback for you and help out. If people are raising their voices then that should be stopped and you should stand up for yourself. That is worth working through, even if it means in the end leaving your job, at least make life difficult for them in the mean time by confronting what they are doing wrong. But make sure you have self reflection as well. Are you aggravating the situation? Are you frustrating your boss? Are you communicating well? Just because you have a valid issue against your work place doesn't mean they might not have a valid issue against you. Work to see their side and what you might be doing to create the situation, while also holding them to a fair standard. Politely and firmly stand up for yourself, going to HR and higher management as needed. What is the worst that can happen? Think of it as a learning experience if nothing else.

But don't do nothing. Resolve the situation one way or another, but I'm not convinced that just leaving and using up your savings is the right move. Emergency funds is not the same as Fuck You money, if you have substantial debt you really don't have Fuck You money.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2015, 06:55:20 PM by James »

lbmustache

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2015, 06:57:33 PM »
I dunno. I'm going to go against the grain and say to leave. Life's too short to be miserable at work every day. You can always earn more money.

Time to leave!

Kriegsspiel

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #13 on: October 09, 2015, 06:58:07 PM »
You sound like you are "guiding" us down a specific road, like you are coaching us to say "Yes, user your FU money and leave your job". You leave out all sorts of relevant information. How much debt do you have? Is the irritation you have from your coworkers reasonable? Are you being overly sensitive? It sounds that way to me, and I have no reason to think that other than a gut feeling. You say it takes three days to recover just working with her, what exactly is she doing to have that affect on you?

It really sounds to me like you have issues that should be addressed as much as your work place problem. That doesn't absolve your workplace, but it does sound like something you should work through for your own benefit. Maybe ask for HR to sit with you and explore the situation, and honestly listen to see what they think. Obviously they may not side with you, but they may have some good feedback for you and help out. If people are raising their voices then that should be stopped and you should stand up for yourself. That is worth working through, even if it means in the end leaving your job, at least make life difficult for them in the mean time by confronting what they are doing wrong. But make sure you have self reflection as well. Are you aggravating the situation? Are you frustrating your boss? Are you communicating well? Just because you have a valid issue against your work place doesn't mean they might not have a valid issue against you. Work to see their side and what you might be doing to create the situation, while also holding them to a fair standard. Politely and firmly stand up for yourself, going to HR and higher management as needed. What is the worst that can happen? Think of it as a learning experience if nothing else.

But don't do nothing. Resolve the situation one way or another, but I'm not convinced that just leaving and using up your savings is the right move. Emergency funds is not the same as Fuck You money, if you have substantial debt you really don't have Fuck You money.

STOP THINKING IT THROUGH

A DESK-SHITTING IS INEVITABLE

Jakejake

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #14 on: October 09, 2015, 07:06:37 PM »
Emergency funds is not the same as Fuck You money, if you have substantial debt you really don't have Fuck You money.
THIS.

My advice is to stay, while working your ass off to line up the next job. Lining that job up will be infinitely easier if you already have a job, vs. trying to get one while being unemployed, because that will automatically make you look desperate - and in truth, you will be. I know it sucks and is horribly unfair and is no reflection of anyone's actual job skills, but many employers will not even consider hiring someone who is currently unemployed. No matter how much of an intolerable jerk your coworker is, you should give her the power to potentially screw up your future job opportunities for years to come.

I'm not saying stay there indefinitely - just stay there while you are aggressively job hunting.

Kaikou

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #15 on: October 09, 2015, 07:43:38 PM »
I'm curious too. What is she doing?

cchrissyy

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #16 on: October 09, 2015, 07:51:08 PM »
You stopped paying down debt in order to have some months of living expenses saved up. OK fine. That's NOT FU money.

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #17 on: October 09, 2015, 08:13:35 PM »
You have F-me money. Just enough to do something stupid with.

Mesmoiselle

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #18 on: October 09, 2015, 08:18:18 PM »
Fuck you money is not financial independence, it's "can afford to seek happier situations without financial desperation guiding your decisions."

People have that money and keep working. People have that money, quit, and still actually still need to work again because they're not FI.

Kriegsspiel

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #19 on: October 09, 2015, 08:19:37 PM »
100% of people who have shit on someone's desk are happier with their situation.

Fact.

Blatant

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #20 on: October 09, 2015, 08:38:34 PM »
OMG!! My co-worker doesn't like me. OMG!! Management doesn't understand me.

Let me guess, you're 22?

I think you should stay and learn to work with difficult people. It's great experience for the real world.

Astatine

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2015, 08:44:48 PM »
OMG!! My co-worker doesn't like me. OMG!! Management doesn't understand me.

Let me guess, you're 22?

I think you should stay and learn to work with difficult people. It's great experience for the real world.

Eh, I disagree. I'm in my early 40s and well-respected in my current job, and many years in the corporate world under my belt, and I would find the situation she (he?) described very stressful and upsetting. I personally wouldn't quit without finding a new job first, but in this situation I would do everything I could to get moved to a different shift/different days (with perhaps using studies as the reason why I needed to work different days) as well as putting my heart and soul into finding a new job asap.

G-dog

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #22 on: October 09, 2015, 08:48:35 PM »
1. Shit on your coworkers desk.
2. Drop the mic.
3. Execute "FU Money" exit.

You crack me up. I think I would like to work with you, even with a chance of finding shit on my desk.

I advise shitting on their chair, or in a desk drawer - they may not notice in time....

sheepstache

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #23 on: October 09, 2015, 08:58:48 PM »
You sound like you are "guiding" us down a specific road, like you are coaching us to say "Yes, user your FU money and leave your job". You leave out all sorts of relevant information. How much debt do you have? Is the irritation you have from your coworkers reasonable? Are you being overly sensitive? It sounds that way to me, and I have no reason to think that other than a gut feeling. You say it takes three days to recover just working with her, what exactly is she doing to have that affect on you?

It really sounds to me like you have issues that should be addressed as much as your work place problem. That doesn't absolve your workplace, but it does sound like something you should work through for your own benefit. Maybe ask for HR to sit with you and explore the situation, and honestly listen to see what they think. Obviously they may not side with you, but they may have some good feedback for you and help out. If people are raising their voices then that should be stopped and you should stand up for yourself. That is worth working through, even if it means in the end leaving your job, at least make life difficult for them in the mean time by confronting what they are doing wrong. But make sure you have self reflection as well. Are you aggravating the situation? Are you frustrating your boss? Are you communicating well? Just because you have a valid issue against your work place doesn't mean they might not have a valid issue against you. Work to see their side and what you might be doing to create the situation, while also holding them to a fair standard. Politely and firmly stand up for yourself, going to HR and higher management as needed. What is the worst that can happen? Think of it as a learning experience if nothing else.

But don't do nothing. Resolve the situation one way or another, but I'm not convinced that just leaving and using up your savings is the right move. Emergency funds is not the same as Fuck You money, if you have substantial debt you really don't have Fuck You money.

STOP THINKING IT THROUGH

A DESK-SHITTING IS INEVITABLE

I like when I read through the replies to a post and everything important has already been said.

BPA

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #24 on: October 09, 2015, 09:18:18 PM »
I'm sorry, OP.

The desk shitting has made this my favourite thread.  Maybe ever.

Mesmoiselle

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #25 on: October 09, 2015, 09:38:33 PM »
OMG!! My co-worker doesn't like me. OMG!! Management doesn't understand me.

Let me guess, you're 22?

I think you should stay and learn to work with difficult people. It's great experience for the real world.

No. I'm 28, and 7 years into this career. This is the first time I've worked with someone I didn't get along with on so many levels but she's also the first one to micro manage me.

Kriegsspiel

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2015, 09:42:12 PM »
OMG!! My co-worker doesn't like me. OMG!! Management doesn't understand me.

Let me guess, you're 22?

I think you should stay and learn to work with difficult people. It's great experience for the real world.

No. I'm 28, and 7 years into this career. This is the first time I've worked with someone I didn't get along with on so many levels but she's also the first one to micro manage me.

Yeesh, you're such a Millennial.

Mesmoiselle

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #27 on: October 09, 2015, 09:47:12 PM »
OMG!! My co-worker doesn't like me. OMG!! Management doesn't understand me.

Let me guess, you're 22?

I think you should stay and learn to work with difficult people. It's great experience for the real world.

No. I'm 28, and 7 years into this career. This is the first time I've worked with someone I didn't get along with on so many levels but she's also the first one to micro manage me.

Yeesh, you're such a Millennial.

I also worked in a similar field for 4 years before that. I didn't know one had to work 20+ years before they're justified in complaining about a poor work environment.

okits

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #28 on: October 09, 2015, 10:25:35 PM »
OMG!! My co-worker doesn't like me. OMG!! Management doesn't understand me.

Let me guess, you're 22?

I think you should stay and learn to work with difficult people. It's great experience for the real world.

No. I'm 28, and 7 years into this career. This is the first time I've worked with someone I didn't get along with on so many levels but she's also the first one to micro manage me.

Yeesh, you're such a Millennial.

I also worked in a similar field for 4 years before that. I didn't know one had to work 20+ years before they're justified in complaining about a poor work environment.

Considering 75% of Kriegsspiel's comments in this thread have been about desk-shitting, I don't think you need to take him making fun of you too seriously. :-)

Since you're on your way out of this job soon, anyway, I'd try to work the weekend shifts and avoid the lousy people.  Yes, you can afford to not work for a while, but since you have debt it would be much, much better to have the $4-5k to reduce what you owe.  It's only another two months.

You asked if you were over-sensitive.  It sounds like this coworker is bonkers.  It would bother me.  Your management sounds shitty.  If you want to be less passive about it, start documenting and audio-recording the incidents and what management hasn't done to improve things.  Find out if there are any worker protection laws in your area regarding hostile work environments.  At the very least, having evidence should enable you to pressure management into getting her to leave you alone.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2015, 10:36:42 PM by okits »

Kaikou

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #29 on: October 09, 2015, 11:10:45 PM »
Can you actually relay what she is doing? besides a personality clash...is she doing those things on purpose?

Bearded Man

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #30 on: October 09, 2015, 11:20:06 PM »
Tough it out for a few months and move on. I've stayed at jobs worse than the one described for years. I make me, though if really bad I move on sooner. Gain skills, education , certs, find another enemy of hers who you can vent to. This wont be important five years from now. You will have moved on many times over and be doing better than her. Key is to keep working and saving.

tvan

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #31 on: October 09, 2015, 11:24:18 PM »
You sound overly sensitive.

You are going to be working with way more people with different political views over your lifetime.  The homophobic thing is bad but that shit is half normal too.

And then some shit about a lamp pretty much confirmed to me that you are in fact a crying baby.


Blatant

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #32 on: October 10, 2015, 06:06:15 AM »
This person is a co-worker. If she's micro-managing you, tell her to fuck off. Jesus, how hard can it be? You already told us you were abrasive, so be abrasive. Or keep complaining about it on the Internet.

I work in a very stressful field with many/mostly/all Type A personalities. People can be assholes. I can be an asshole. The OP clearly can be an asshole, though it sounds like a passive-aggressive one. There is a real art -- and an important one -- to getting along with people you don't agree with and/or like.

If all else fails, I'm warming up to the desk shitting thing ...

Mesmoiselle

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #33 on: October 10, 2015, 07:20:18 AM »
I have people to vent to in person, I'm not just venting to the internet. The point is, I recognize that my loved ones will be biased towards, "Whatever makes you happy." And maybe shitting on someone's desk and quitting on the spot would give me immediate and deep satisfaction, but that still doesn't make it a wise or fiscal move to make.

I have closely read the Epic F.U. Money thread, and not everyone QUITS with it (and all of them NEEDED a paycheck, even if it wasn't right away, so none of them was FI). Sometimes they simply and firmly reject anything displeasing to them, not caring if they're let go. Sometimes they actively use it as a bargaining chip to make their work environment better. I tried the latter by going to management to have it all out.

I think now I will do the former, and come end of scheduled month, I will simply go weekends only. I still make some money, I get more time for end of semester coursework, I still look responsible by giving them time to find someone else to cover the shifts I was doing during the week, and best of all, I see absolutely nothing of the coworker I dislike or the manager that enabled her.

I never brought it up because I thought it was irrelevant, but this a medical job that doesn't pay PTO or insurance for my position. I'm not promised any hours, and what hours I do get are irregular and middle of the night/evening with 1 hour notice. Although my coworker was a catalyst, I was on my way out from this job for a while even as I enjoyed the "over time" paychecks. This is not a great job, turnover for the position is usually 3-6 months, and only because I value more free time have I lasted the near 4 years I've been here. At evaluations, I am told I perform above and beyond the expectations of the position.

On a related note, I like MMM because although he might have put up with boredom for a paycheck, I never understood that he was inclined towards people working while miserable for a paycheck. I thought he was always, "Seek independence, true non material happiness. strive for optimization towards those goals."  Hunkering down and shutting up while your coworker snidely implies that you're a bad employee doesn't seem to fit those suggestions.

Jakejake

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #34 on: October 10, 2015, 08:12:54 AM »
FU money does give you a better negotiating position. Just keep in mind that being unemployed gives you a much much worse negotiating position, and as has been said - many of us wouldn't consider it FU money if it belongs to someone else (money you still have to pay for things you've already bought).

The lamp fight's a bit weird, but it sounds like management found a solution. Out of curiosity, what was her reason for the lights being off? I keep my overhead flourescent lights off in my classroom because they give me headaches. I'm wondering if it was triggering them for her, or if her argument was purely energy-usage related.

BetsyS

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #35 on: October 10, 2015, 08:39:05 AM »
So you have already left and then come back to this work place, and it looks like now you are ready to leave again. There's not much management is going to be willing to do for you since you've already made it clear you are probably going to leave in December anyways. That gives them every incentive to not resolve the situation because you have already offered the resolution for them - voluntarily leaving, which costs them nothing. Intervening too much would alienate your co-worker, which would mean they have to replace two people instead of one.

Discrimination and harassment in the workplace is dead wrong, and you shouldn't have to deal with it. But it sounds to me like you already have one foot out the door, and your best course of action is to complete the move. Financially, you've mitigated the worst possible outcome, and that's a good thing.

Kaikou

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #36 on: October 10, 2015, 08:46:18 AM »
Edit add Explaination:

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People have asked what she's done. She actively proselytized and brought up uncomfortable conservative politics e.g "baby murdering." The one time I asked her to stop discussing such topics she told me,"I wasn't talking to you." We're not in cubicles, she's 2 feet away from me. She accuses me of avoiding work, being inconsiderate, and compares me to others she likes more to my face on multiple occasions. She's homophobic, transphobic. I am completely self motivated and work independently often, but she feels the need to micro manage me anyway because she has opinions about what should be done in what order. And whereas I'm the sort to agree to disagree, (that's my default outside of personal intimate relationships) she feels the need to actively tell me I'm wrong. Has even sought management to side with her (they haven't in the things she's brought up). Her more recent annoyance was turning off the light in the office and assuming I can rely on a small lamp to do my paperwork. I considered this last part to be overly controlling of my work environment. And since her newly found preference deviated from the norm of years of well lit office, I thought this would merely be rectified with a complaint. Instead, I was told to compromise and they're getting me a brighter lamp. Which seems absurd. The default is lights on, and they're spending money to conform around her new found preference by getting a light when there are lights in the ceiling that are perfectly usable. I suppose the flipside is they're buying me a lamp so I can see better but I still shake my head.

Sorry just go or stay. Does it matter? We are taking about 2 months. Like BetsyS says, they know you are leaving by December at the latest, sooooo I mean.....yeah. Who cares.

If it helps any, I am a loyal employee too, but that is not being valued where you are, so move on. You time, commitment, loyalty, hard work, seniority, and attendance to "a job nobody wants" means nothing. Sorry. Just move on and make sure that your next place is satisfying for you monetarily and personally. I understand, but that isn't going to change the scenario and taking it to management probably just made them see less value in you. But do you really care what they think? Start looking for your next position now. This situation is not going to get any better. 2 months to go. I support you OP. If your gut is telling you to go then go.

Easye418

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2015, 10:35:24 AM »
I thought FU money was someone who has all the money in the world and can use FU money to buy luxury items like a Porsche and said "Fuck you world"

Kaikou

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #38 on: October 10, 2015, 10:54:04 AM »
I thought FU money was someone who has all the money in the world and can use FU money to buy luxury items like a Porsche and said "Fuck you world"

lol

Catbert

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2015, 12:00:05 PM »
Thoughts from a grumpy, old, retired HR manager:

You have an irritating co-worker you don't get along with.  You hoped/expected that your boss would ride in on a white horse and save you.  Didn't work.  Going to HR won't do any good.  We have no magic dust that makes people get along.  It's exactly the kind of situation that isn't really fixable - how do you make people like and respect each other?  I'm sure the co-worker has a slightly different version of events that's just a believable as yours which makes you the villain.

If you want to keep the job for awhile longer, tell the co-worker to fuck off and then otherwise ignore her.  Try to work shifts she's not on.  Suck it up.    If you can't ignore her, then quit (with or without shitting on her desk) and put management and HR out of their misery.

tanzee

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #40 on: October 10, 2015, 03:13:09 PM »
This thread is awesome. 

I've experienced having to work closely with people I can't stand, and it stresses me out.  That said, the poster earlier who stated that he felt he was being led towards certain types of answers hit the nail on the head.  The whole story sounds kind of vague and unapproachable and that's often a sense I get when I only am hearing one side of the story.  When you get the whole picture of what's going on, it usually make sense logically.  But the OP's version of events just sounds like there's an office witch who hates lights. 

frompa

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #41 on: October 10, 2015, 03:55:42 PM »
Thoughts from a grumpy, old, retired HR manager:

You have an irritating co-worker you don't get along with.  You hoped/expected that your boss would ride in on a white horse and save you.  Didn't work.  Going to HR won't do any good.  We have no magic dust that makes people get along.  It's exactly the kind of situation that isn't really fixable - how do you make people like and respect each other?  I'm sure the co-worker has a slightly different version of events that's just a believable as yours which makes you the villain.

If you want to keep the job for awhile longer, tell the co-worker to fuck off and then otherwise ignore her.  Try to work shifts she's not on.  Suck it up.    If you can't ignore her, then quit (with or without shitting on her desk) and put management and HR out of their misery.


I heartily agree with the emboldened portion above. By leaving, you give the asshole coworker the satisfaction of having run you off the job.  Fuck her -- stay and continue to do a good job and let her be her miserable self.  I also think you have an irrationally rosey view of management - they really don't give a fuck and are going to take the path of least resistance, which is probably why you've seen them act (and not) as they have.  Best of luck, whichever way you decide to go. 

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #42 on: October 10, 2015, 07:45:54 PM »
If she's creating a hostile work environment based on your sexual or gender orientation then management should intervene. But your inclusion of the abortion thing makes it sound like she just says things you disagree with sometimes.

Not that anybody should be discussing abortion at work (unless your work involves doing it or lobbying against/for it).

Fireball

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #43 on: October 10, 2015, 08:21:20 PM »
You asked for advice, so here it is - suck it up buttercup. Work the two more months. Be an adult and ignore the coworker or tell her to go jump off a cliff.

But definitely shit on their desk on your last day. Eat nothing but bean burritos for two days prior.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2015, 08:23:30 PM by Fireball »

merula

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #44 on: October 10, 2015, 09:47:33 PM »
I wish mary w (or another HR person) would provide some insight into the potential ramifications of the proposed desk-shitting solution. Are they likely to just say "Well, at least they don't work here anymore" and be done with it? Sue for damages? Press criminal charges? (There's probably not a desk-shitting statute, but it could easily be vandalism.)
« Last Edit: October 11, 2015, 09:23:36 AM by merula »

Retire-Canada

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #45 on: October 11, 2015, 08:10:04 AM »

TL;DR
Bad coworker and management yelled at me (literally.) I have F.U. money till February, but may need more than that due to erratic temp work. I'm seeking advice now, because I don't want to be so oversensitive I shoot myself in the foot, but I also don't want to be working with these people who cause me to feel like my work is low worth.


Just a few thoughts. I'm I have a ton of FU money, but not quite FI. Just to give you some perspective.

Despite having FU money I would not use it unless there was no other [reasonable] choice. If FIRE is your goal spending thousands of saved dollars is counter productive. So do everything you can to prevent that.

- Go weekends like you suggested.
- Start looking for other jobs temp/full-time/whatever

I don't think there is anything wrong with leaving a toxic work environment if you can't change it. I would just do it in a way that doesn't touch your FU money unless it truly is an unbearable scenario with no other options.

Cathy

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #46 on: October 11, 2015, 08:59:45 AM »
I wish [someone] would provide some insight into the potential ramifications of the proposed desk-[defecation] solution...

As you say, it is probably both a civil wrong and a criminal wrong.

As a civil wrong, it is at least actionable as trespass to chattels. As a criminal wrong, it probably at least constitutes various crimes based on property damage, as you mention.

An important thing to understand is that in virtually all states, the company would not have the power to decide whether or not to "press charges". That would be up to the prosecuting authorities. For certain crimes, it's very hard to prove the elements of the offense if the victim is not cooperating, which does give the victim some measure of de facto control over whether prosecution will occur, but that wouldn't really be the case for committing property damage in the open office. Anybody present in the office could give testimony sufficient to secure a conviction. In many states, anybody witnessing the offense could effect the arrest as well. I'm not really sure why some posters in this thread are describing the pointless commission of property damage as if it were humourous, but aside from the fact that it is not funny, there could also be serious adverse consequences from it.

merula

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #47 on: October 11, 2015, 09:25:51 AM »
Thanks, Cathy. I was with you up until you said the pointless commission of property damage (i.e. desk-shitting) wasn't funny.

BPA

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #48 on: October 11, 2015, 09:40:17 AM »
I wish [someone] would provide some insight into the potential ramifications of the proposed desk-[defecation] solution...

As you say, it is probably both a civil wrong and a criminal wrong.

As a civil wrong, it is at least actionable as trespass to chattels. As a criminal wrong, it probably at least constitutes various crimes based on property damage, as you mention.

An important thing to understand is that in virtually all states, the company would not have the power to decide whether or not to "press charges". That would be up to the prosecuting authorities. For certain crimes, it's very hard to prove the elements of the offense if the victim is not cooperating, which does give the victim some measure of de facto control over whether prosecution will occur, but that wouldn't really be the case for committing property damage in the open office. Anybody present in the office could give testimony sufficient to secure a conviction. In many states, anybody witnessing the offense could effect the arrest as well. I'm not really sure why some posters in this thread are describing the pointless commission of property damage as if it were humourous, but aside from the fact that it is not funny, there could also be serious adverse consequences from it.

It's because we possess a sense of humour which based on many of your previous posts seems to be something you don't possess.  That's not a criticism.  To each her own. 

But...I can pretty much guarantee that the OP isn't stupid enough to actually shit on someone's desk because some random smartass on a message board told her to. 

James

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Re: Should I use my F/U money?
« Reply #49 on: October 11, 2015, 10:05:42 AM »
I have people to vent to in person, I'm not just venting to the internet. The point is, I recognize that my loved ones will be biased towards, "Whatever makes you happy." And maybe shitting on someone's desk and quitting on the spot would give me immediate and deep satisfaction, but that still doesn't make it a wise or fiscal move to make.

I have closely read the Epic F.U. Money thread, and not everyone QUITS with it (and all of them NEEDED a paycheck, even if it wasn't right away, so none of them was FI). Sometimes they simply and firmly reject anything displeasing to them, not caring if they're let go. Sometimes they actively use it as a bargaining chip to make their work environment better. I tried the latter by going to management to have it all out.

I think now I will do the former, and come end of scheduled month, I will simply go weekends only. I still make some money, I get more time for end of semester coursework, I still look responsible by giving them time to find someone else to cover the shifts I was doing during the week, and best of all, I see absolutely nothing of the coworker I dislike or the manager that enabled her.

I never brought it up because I thought it was irrelevant, but this a medical job that doesn't pay PTO or insurance for my position. I'm not promised any hours, and what hours I do get are irregular and middle of the night/evening with 1 hour notice. Although my coworker was a catalyst, I was on my way out from this job for a while even as I enjoyed the "over time" paychecks. This is not a great job, turnover for the position is usually 3-6 months, and only because I value more free time have I lasted the near 4 years I've been here. At evaluations, I am told I perform above and beyond the expectations of the position.

On a related note, I like MMM because although he might have put up with boredom for a paycheck, I never understood that he was inclined towards people working while miserable for a paycheck. I thought he was always, "Seek independence, true non material happiness. strive for optimization towards those goals."  Hunkering down and shutting up while your coworker snidely implies that you're a bad employee doesn't seem to fit those suggestions.


As I see it, the difference between FU money and Emergency Fund money is debt. If you have consumer debt, which you said you did, then you don't have FU money. You are in a debt emergency and should suck it up and either finish this job or find another to pay your debt. Obviously if you absolutely can't take it any more than leave, but you are asking and I'm giving the best advice I can based on what I am hearing. Nothing you have said so far indicates you can't suck it up for a couple months, and working just weekends while looking for another job during the week isn't terrible, but if you can't find another job in a short time then I would go back to working during the week as much as possible.


Once you pay off your debt and build up true FU money, then I think you are right on track with what MMM would suggest. If your job sucks leave, that is what FU money is for. Find a new one quickly so you don't drain your FU money, because once you are desperate and broke you are no longer in control. " Hunkering down and shutting up while your coworker snidely implies that you're a bad employee" is exactly what MMM would suggest while you are in a debt emergency, even if you have an emergency fund. He would keep his head down and show his excellent work with good attitude and results. No, I don't think he would stay a minute longer than necessary, but I think he would find a new job first, he wouldn't let the circumstances affect his mood much, and he would laugh off the snide insults and differences of opinions as irrelevant, what the hell do you care what some idiot coworker thinks? Do a good job, fight for your rights with a limited amount of energy fitting the limited time left in the job, and pay off your debts so you aren't trapped like this again.