So, she did not tell you the full scale of her debt and you acknowledge that you're bothered by her weight and household cleanliness. My questions would be 1) are you more bothered by the latter 2 things now that you know about the debt? 2) has she shown any ability/desire to deal with the latter two issues? i.e. does she know or care that they bother you and try to improve them? There's a world of difference between trying, but just being a naturally messy or disorganized person and being completely unaware/uninterested in the environment she creates. Similarly, has she been overweight all/most of her life in spite of decent exercise and eating habits, or is she lazy and uncaring about her diet? If it's the latter scenarios and she's neglected to disclose her full debt on top of that, it paints a different picture than if it's the former scenarios and she was afraid to tell you the full amount of her debt. And even regardless of which way it is, if you don't want to spend your life with a messy, overweight, indebted person, that is your decision to make. That is what dating is for - to get to know the other person. Add in her desire to have kids soon, in spite of her massive debt, and you know that her weight and the messiness of the home environment will likely only increase. Plus, you will see more of your salary/savings go towards raising said kids and possibly taking on some/most/all of her debt as well. Only you can say if this trade-off is worth it to you, because marriage is not just about emotions but practicalities as well. Hopefully, this is a lifelong partnership, so take the time to really think it through and don't be pushed into a hasty decision by a false deadline. Remember that not everyone CAN have kids even if they want them and you don't know that you won't be those people, so don't let that push you into a decision you're not ready to make.