Best tip in general? Cheap housing. Housing is such a large, relatively fixed portion of expenses that starting out in a cheaper apartment with roommates and skipping fancy amenities makes a huge difference in how much you can save. I kind of stumbled into this, and I don't know if it would work for you with little kids.
Best tip if you are "just making par"? Post a case study.
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/With accurate numbers on what you currently earn and spend each month, your fellow mustachians will be able to help you figure out if there are any savings to be had.
Mint (free with ads), YNAB (paid), Personal Capital (free with ads), and other sites will automatically download your transactions from checking and bank accounts, which some people like, and might save you time. However, that data then lives on Mint's servers. Quicken (paid) will also automatically download data and lives on your computer. GnuCash (free) may be able to import files of data that you download from banking websites, but many people prefer to hand-enter transactions; GnuCash and its data live on your computer. I had a large, complex spreadsheet that worked well for me for years, but I find that I prefer GnuCash (and I was able to import my years of historical data from the spreadsheet to GnuCash).
You don't say why you want to take control from your wife. Is she feeling overwhelmed by tracking your finances? Is she not keeping the records up to date? Is she spending more than you think necessary?
I don't use cash-only. Using my credit card (auto-paid in full each month) allows me to double-check and reconcile against the receipts I have collected and entered into GnuCash. I use as little cash as I can, writing it down in a notebook to remember until I can get it into GnuCash.
What do you mean about a "debit account setup to only use for a monthly budget (nothing tied to savings, etc.)"?
If you are not running short of money, why not get all your bills set up to be auto-paid on a credit card? Then the credit card auto-paid in full from your checking account? I have the gas/electric bill, internet bill, cell phone bill, and health insurance bills all set to be auto-paid on their due dates via my credit card and the credit card auto-paid via checking. The only due date I need to remember is rent.