Author Topic: Get knocked up or travel  (Read 16866 times)

amyable

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Get knocked up or travel
« on: April 11, 2015, 05:52:17 AM »
For the first time in my life I feel financially secure enough to either start a family or travel.  I'm 31 years old.  How much difference will a year make in starting a family?  I've never been outside of the US, and I worry I might feel pretty unfulfilled being saddled with an infant just as soon as I've become debt-free.  Is getting pregnant at 32 and having a kid at 33 that much different from getting pregnant at 31 and having a kid at 32?  I know my fertility might decline, but if I can't have a child naturally, I'm comfortable with fostering to adopt (and I feel like I know what that choice entails--I'm a school counselor).

I feel like I've been on a treadmill of paying off debt and I just want to take a great vacation, save, and have a breather before launching into the next phase in my life?

Thanks for any word of wisdom!

larmando

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2015, 06:00:37 AM »
Go for it (on the right budget clearly). 1 year at that age doesn't matter. Or maybe do 6 months? It's not too bad either! ;)

amyable

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2015, 06:08:58 AM »
Yeah, six months is definitely an option.  I have loads of airline miles, 1.5 months off this summer, a week off in November and 2.5 weeks off in December.  I'm thinking of trying after Spring Break next year.  Ideally, I'm thinking Mexico and Central America this summer, and Prague, Berlin, and Budapest in December.

I live in a small town, and I deal with so much pressure to have a kid NOW!  Many of my high school friends already have 3-4?!  My college friends on the other hand either have infants or are just getting pregnant.

Zamboni

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2015, 06:23:05 AM »
If you've never been outside of the US, my opinion is you should absolutely take those trips you have listed. 

And if you want to have a baby sooner rather than later, you can start trying to get pregnant in the Fall and still have all of those trips.  Conception can happen while traveling, after all, and travel during early pregnancy is no problem at all.  If you get lucky and conceive right after you start trying, then a fall pregnancy would mean summer birth next year.  So really you are only looking at delaying the effort to conceive by a few months.

Good luck!

chasesfish

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2015, 06:29:12 AM »
Travel

Children are your family's decision, not the decision of outsiders.  Just say no to that pressure

Thegoblinchief

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2015, 06:45:40 AM »
As someone who had his first at 21, travel! No brainer.

I assume, of course, the partner who'd be "knocking you up" wants to travel as well? That's obviously part of the equation there.

wordnerd

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2015, 08:04:59 AM »
It sounds like you know what you want to do and have a great plan to do it. Six months or year probably won't change your fertility much (some stats here: http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6155/your-age-and-fertility). So go forth and explore! :)

arebelspy

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2015, 08:38:03 AM »
The wife and I are shooting for both!  They aren't mutually exclusive.  ;)
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Middlesbrough

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2015, 09:52:31 AM »
If you have never left the country, freaking travel! It changed my life and I can't get out of here fast enough again.

If you truly want kids, traveling is a great time to practice for kids. (Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge)

LouLou

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2015, 10:13:28 AM »
I say travel! Many of my friends with small children say to travel before kids, especially the types of travel that you can't do with kids. Do it!

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2015, 10:25:55 AM »
A year at your age isn't going to make a huge statistical drop in your fertility. Unless you want three or more kids, I say travel.

My kids were born when I was 29 and 30. I'm 34 now and while our family is complete, I certainly don't feel too old to procreate :-).

The Fake Cheap

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2015, 11:25:26 AM »
I vote for travel.  Lots of time for kids yet. 

JLee

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2015, 12:07:03 PM »
What do you foresee to be more likely?

1) Traveling the world and starting a family a year late (or you could try to time it in between;  I imagine you could easily wrap up a year of travel while you're a month or two pregnant?)
2) Starting a family now, and XYZ happens and you aren't able to travel until years down the road.

My vote is travel. You will have a lot more freedom if you don't have to care for a baby simultaneously.

Calvawt

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #13 on: April 11, 2015, 12:20:40 PM »
Travel now and try for kids in 6 months or so.  You won't regret it.  I had my first kid at 35 and second at 36.  My wife is younger, but I got years of doin what I wanted before we got married.


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Valhalla

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #14 on: April 11, 2015, 12:56:35 PM »
Agree do it both.  Traveling with kids is harder, but also more worthwhile as well.

You don't need a "mega" trip now, just travel for a couple of weeks as a "celebration" for your new life. 

If you're looking to travel for months on end, let me tell you that's going to get really old really quick.

okits

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2015, 01:23:32 PM »
See some of the world first.  You can travel with kids, too, but it's cheaper just to buy 1-2 plane tickets vs. 3-4 with a whole family.  Plus you have a wider range of places to stay and activities to do because you don't need them to be kid-friendly.

Valhalla

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2015, 01:47:37 PM »
See some of the world first.  You can travel with kids, too, but it's cheaper just to buy 1-2 plane tickets vs. 3-4 with a whole family.  Plus you have a wider range of places to stay and activities to do because you don't need them to be kid-friendly.
I think OP needs to define "see the world".

Does that mean quitting work for a year, 6 months, 3 months to travel?

As someone who traveled the world as a student, and then professionally in my line of work, I can tell you that traveling after school, for periods of longer than 4-6 weeks, gets really old.  You get tired of living out of hostels / hotel rooms, miss your friends / family, and the familiar surroundings of life.

I don't see why OP has to postpone pregnancy to travel.  Don't try to swallow too big of a bite.  Travel 2-3 weeks at a time. You can do that while still in the first trimester.

JLee

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #17 on: April 11, 2015, 04:40:53 PM »
Agree do it both.  Traveling with kids is harder, but also more worthwhile as well.

You don't need a "mega" trip now, just travel for a couple of weeks as a "celebration" for your new life. 

If you're looking to travel for months on end, let me tell you that's going to get really old really quick.

There are many people out there who disagree with that sentiment.
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amyable

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #18 on: April 11, 2015, 05:13:23 PM »
Thanks so much for all the supportive responses.

The long term travel question:  we're actually planning on medium-term travel during the summers postkid--I don't want to travel while pregnant though.  It's just a personal preference.  And, as far as travel with an older baby or toddler, I'm not totally closing that door, just realizing it might be less romantic and less complicated.

Reading these responses actually made me realize that a big part of it is that I feel like if we don't do a little international travel now, we'll be making our first international trips with a kid, and I think that would totally overwhelm me.  I want to get a little more comfortable with traveling to another country before I have a kid because I don't want my kid to be 31 and have never left the country!  I want them to be better traveled than I am now by the time they're 18.  :-)

Davids

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #19 on: April 11, 2015, 05:59:03 PM »
Take a European vacation and then try for baby.

arebelspy

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2015, 07:02:33 PM »
I don't want to travel while pregnant though.  It's just a personal preference.  And, as far as travel with an older baby or toddler, I'm not totally closing that door, just realizing it might be less romantic and less complicated.

Yes, but it takes the average female in her 20s about 7-8 months to get pregnant when she's trying (according to my wife's gyno).  So they don't have to be mutually exclusive in that you can start trying before, and during, travel to have that already on the way.  You may end up traveling then during the first few months of pregnancy, which means you have the suck of morning sickness, but you don't yet have the weight, back, etc. issues.

If you want kids, I probably wouldn't delay trying totally until everything's all done.  YMMV though.  :)
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ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2015, 08:00:35 PM »
Count me as "Why not both?"

katie

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2015, 08:08:20 PM »
Travel. Then baby.  I had my first at 31, second at 33 and no, there isn't a difference in a year.  You will slow down traveling with the kids.  I am a travel nut (even made it my job recently) and my daughter had Global Entry and went to 6 countries before 2....my son, has only been to 6 states. :)  They travel well until they are walking, then there is a rough spot until (I think) about 3.5.  Of course, every child is different, but I was hell bent on keeping up the travel after they were born and a trip to Europe when I was 6 months pregnant with a 17 month old proved to be the opposite of fun.

bogart

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #23 on: April 11, 2015, 08:52:54 PM »
A year could make a huge difference -- but it probably won't.  I vote for travel.  And sure, you can travel while pregnant and you can travel with kids, but they are different experiences and you may (particularly in the "pregnant" case) find you don't particularly want to -- I had a healthy and uneventful pregnancy, but I was exhausted and queasy. 

Just go.  Have fun!

Knapptyme

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2015, 09:43:59 PM »
Just to play the other side, there's also (assuming you're alive) a lot more time to travel when you're older. Who knows, as the world changes, there may be something really cool to see that isn't there until later. While I didn't have my first child until 30, and didn't travel much, I still wanted to be as young and vibrant as possible for my kids. My plans to travel will be with my family and/or when the kids have left the nest like my grandparents did.

And though infertility may not be an issue, it took us about 8-9 months to conceive and carry past the first six weeks. I would be an advocate for traveling and trying.


JLR

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #25 on: April 12, 2015, 07:17:45 AM »
Are you in a relationship? Will you be traveling with your partner? What do they think?

You just don't know what will happen in life. You can't plan out everything. A year at this stage probably won't make a big difference in your fertility or how old you will be by the time your kids are grown, so it is really up to you.

We started our family when we were 20. Went on our first international holiday when we were about 27. Three kids by then, so just a little trip to get us started. 10 days in NZ (we are in Australia). Second trip was two weeks in Fiji, two years after the first trip. Now we are another 4 years down the track and are looking at doing a Big Trip to Dubai (to visit friends) and then on to Europe. Something that got me through some hard days with littlies was the dream of one day going to Europe, knowing that that was in my future and something to look forward to. I hope it lives up to my expectations! :)


lovesasa

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #26 on: April 12, 2015, 07:22:29 AM »
Definitely travel. It's possible with kids, but much more difficult and more expensive. 6 months to a year isn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but the experience of travel could truly change your life. :)

limeandpepper

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #27 on: April 12, 2015, 08:50:24 AM »
If you're looking to travel for months on end, let me tell you that's going to get really old really quick.

I can tell you that traveling after school, for periods of longer than 4-6 weeks, gets really old.  You get tired of living out of hostels / hotel rooms, miss your friends / family, and the familiar surroundings of life.

That's your opinion and experience but not everyone feels the same way. I traveled for months and by the end of it, I would have happily continued for many more months if I hadn't already had returned flights booked.

Who knows, as the world changes, there may be something really cool to see that isn't there until later.

It's usually more the other way round, though, which is why I personally prefer to travel now (as well as later). Interesting traditional customs fade with the ever-evolving globalized world, idyllic places become overdeveloped, and then we have issues like dying coral reefs and an increasing list of endangered animals, etc.

That is not to say that everyone should travel first - it just depends on their priorities.

Yeah, six months is definitely an option.  I have loads of airline miles, 1.5 months off this summer, a week off in November and 2.5 weeks off in December.  I'm thinking of trying after Spring Break next year.  Ideally, I'm thinking Mexico and Central America this summer, and Prague, Berlin, and Budapest in December.

It's not quite clear to me from this post whether you're leaning more towards a longer stretch of travel i.e. months at a time, or intermittently throughout the year? Either way, if you're not set on having biological children, then a year shouldn't make much difference.

It also really depends on what kind of travel you want to do. Certain types of trips are more suitable for children than others. I'd do the trickier ones before having kids, and then have the tamer holidays (they can still be adventurous, but in a more manageable way) as a family.

flyingaway

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #28 on: April 12, 2015, 08:05:05 PM »
Travel will kids is more expensive.

DrJD

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #29 on: April 13, 2015, 05:08:59 AM »
As a doctor (and a Dad) I say do both!  Its easy to get into the mindset that we'll get pregnant the second we start trying after being told about the "dangers" of unprotected sex since we were little.  The post above is right though, it can take most couples over 6 months to have a successful pregnant!  Some couples it can take a year or more.  Then pregnancy itself is 10 months long. 

My point is, that in all likeilhood if you started trying this month, you'd be looking at having the baby in August 2016.  Just don't forget about the lag period thats involved with having children.  So I'd plan a trip, and star trying in the next 3-6 months, if you get pregnant after traveling for 8 months and are miserable just cut the trip short! 

(From a medical perspective the graph of fertility is pretty steady between 31 and 32 so you shouldn't have much to worry about.)


Neustache

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #30 on: April 13, 2015, 07:02:33 AM »
I'm going with both, as well.  We were supposed to start trying to get pregnant on our first major road trip together, but ended up starting early.  Found out in San Simeon, CA that I was pregnant - very memorable place to be when we found out! 


Retire-Canada

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #31 on: April 13, 2015, 07:18:55 AM »
Is getting pregnant at 32 and having a kid at 33 that much different from getting pregnant at 31 and having a kid at 32?

Based on the people I know 32-33 is young and I wouldn't worry about 1yr either way.

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Daleth

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #32 on: April 13, 2015, 07:23:46 AM »
Just to play the other side, there's also (assuming you're alive) a lot more time to travel when you're older. Who knows, as the world changes, there may be something really cool to see that isn't there until later.

No... not a safe assumption. What if you or your partner become disabled? What if you or your partner (or kid) get a chronic illness that makes traveling tricky (e.g., finding the medication you need in foreign countries)? What if you get saddled with an unexpected responsibility (broke parents with no place to live, child or children of a sibling who dies unexpectedly)? And as for new things being there that you could visit, it's just as likely that existing things you want to see will be gone--destroyed by terrorists, by climate change (Venice, anyone??), made unavailable by a new political regime in that country that makes traveling impossible or unsafe, etc.

I am always the person here who urges people to have kids as soon as they want them, and certainly before the woman is 35 if at all possible, because things really do become more difficult as you pass the mid-thirties. But even I would advise the OP to travel. One year at your age, OP, is highly unlikely to make any difference fertility-wise, and the thought that at some point in the distant future you could travel is not likely to make you feel better if you find yourself feeling "saddled" with a baby.

DecD

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #33 on: April 13, 2015, 09:13:36 AM »
I can only speak from my own experience, but I spent two years in Europe in my 20s before settling down in the states (started having kids at 30) and would make the same choice again.  I'm glad I did quite a bit of traveling before responsibilities started making it less convenient. 

It does have the effect of delaying FI- The second year in France I broke even, whereas I could have been saving quite a bit at a "real" job.  But it's not all about the race to the finish line- it's about living life to the fullest along the way, too.  Definitely worth it.  Definitely.

I did find that 6 weeks was my limit for traveling sans purpose.  I'd start to get homesick (not for my own house, just for a "home" in general) and bored with the constant lack of purpose.  So in traveling for more than a couple of months, it worked out for me to have a home base and a purpose (job or schooling or volunteer gig or something).

Valhalla

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #34 on: April 13, 2015, 09:36:01 AM »


That's your opinion and experience but not everyone feels the same way. I traveled for months and by the end of it, I would have happily continued for many more months if I hadn't already had returned flights booked.


Wow, you're a woman? How old are you and where are you from?  You're definitely in the minority, especially if you're beyond your 20's.  I've met lots of aussie's who travel for a year, so it's not abnormal for them.  But for an American, especially one who has never been abroad? This is highly atypical...and highly likely that they will get tired of travel after a few weeks.

mm1970

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #35 on: April 13, 2015, 09:45:43 AM »
I'm going to go with travel.  I only had a couple of international trips when I was younger, and I enjoyed them immensely.  One year is unlikely to make a difference in getting pregnant.

It's hard to say how long it will take you to get pregnant.  Many of my friends?  Right away, every time.

Me?  18 months the first time (started trying when 33, got pg at 35).  More than that with #2 (tried for 17 months, gave up and stopped trying, gave the baby stuff away, got pg at 41, which was probably 22 months after we'd started trying).

Personally, I find traveling with children to be utterly painful.  And expensive.

CommonCents

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #36 on: April 13, 2015, 10:32:19 AM »
Talk to your doctor.  Maybe run one of those tests that will tell you your egg reserve.  Then you can make a decision with more facts.  Just know that it can take a while to get pregnant so 1) don't plan on a baby at a specific date (e.g. pregnant age 31, or 32) and 2) consider trying/traveling while early pregnant.

Anecdotally, I know one person who got pregnant first try in early 30s.  On the other hand, I know a LOT of people who had trouble conceiving including a lot of friends who miscarried (some people shared around the time of the miscarriage, but some we've heard about much later).  Just last week a coworker told me they tried, did one IVF cycle, then afterwards got pregnant (kid now 1.5 years).  So I'm a bit more cautious than the "sure travel first!" group - I think you should consider what you higher priorities are:  How heartbroken would you be if you got pregnant early and had to curtail travel plans/travel with a kid?  How heartbroken would you be if you had difficulty conceiving and either didn't hit the timeline you laid out above, and/or needed fertility assistance (e.g. IVF etc), considering cost, delay of getting pregnant (as in, the delay that travel, then trying to get pregnant puts on your fertility), and any emotional toll it could take.

If you're ok getting pregnant at 33-36 rather than 32, have a healthy egg reserve/no doctor identified concerns, and are financially and emotionally prepared for any problems, then sure travel first!  Otherwise, proceed cautiously.

Scandium

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #37 on: April 13, 2015, 11:04:14 AM »
As a husband of a recently pregnant wife, who traveled, i don't see why they're exclusive. Why not book a trip this summer and start the knocked up process? "Worst case" you're ~1-2 months pregnant, hardly noticeable (unless you're goal is to visit wineries I guess). But that is also unlikely. Then see where you are and book the december trip if you're not pregnant.

As others have pointed out it may take a year or more to get pregnant. Are you not going to plan or do anything during this time, just in case? My wife was 4 months along when we took a trip and she had no problems. She didn't have any morning sickness. You never know how you'll feel so it seems a bit silly to confine yourself to your house for a year or longer.

Daleth

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #38 on: April 13, 2015, 01:09:35 PM »
As a husband of a recently pregnant wife, who traveled, i don't see why they're exclusive. Why not book a trip this summer and start the knocked up process? "Worst case" you're ~1-2 months pregnant, hardly noticeable

It's noticeable if you have morning sickness. Not how I would prefer to travel.

Scandium

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #39 on: April 13, 2015, 01:46:02 PM »
As a husband of a recently pregnant wife, who traveled, i don't see why they're exclusive. Why not book a trip this summer and start the knocked up process? "Worst case" you're ~1-2 months pregnant, hardly noticeable

It's noticeable if you have morning sickness. Not how I would prefer to travel.

no. But:
1. It's rather unlikely she'll be pregnant next week, or even next month, if they start now
2. She don't know how sick, if at all, she'll get.
3. Then get a plane ticket with cancellation option? And refundable hotel?

Just saying there are options. Don't have to confine yourself to the house from the moment you start trying.

jeromedawg

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #40 on: April 13, 2015, 01:52:24 PM »
Just an anecdote, but my wife (29 now) is pregnant with our first and was holding off for a while. We have been married for 5 years now and there were a lot of things she wanted to get off her bucket-list since she was relatively deprived of any family vacations growing up. So we traveled a fair amount within the past 5 years and neither of us regret it. I am almost six years older so for me I was ready to start trying for kids probably over a year or two ago. But I think the whole age/'pregancy/risk thing is more important for women anyway.

After our most recent travel, my wife was pretty content with the amount of travel we had done, so we went ahead and started trying. It didn't happen right away for us but it didn't take too long either. I've heard varying stories from others though, some of whom it takes quite a long time to conceive (1+ year). So if having kids is an important value for you, I would try not to hold off for too long in general.

arebelspy

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #41 on: April 13, 2015, 02:12:56 PM »


That's your opinion and experience but not everyone feels the same way. I traveled for months and by the end of it, I would have happily continued for many more months if I hadn't already had returned flights booked.


Wow, you're a woman? How old are you and where are you from?  You're definitely in the minority, especially if you're beyond your 20's.  I've met lots of aussie's who travel for a year, so it's not abnormal for them.  But for an American, especially one who has never been abroad? This is highly atypical...and highly likely that they will get tired of travel after a few weeks.

Clearly people who travel for extended periods are in the minority, but I think it's because they generally don't try it, not because they try it and get tired of it (as evidenced by the other people you mentioned--like Aussies--who do try it, and do travel for a year+, not getting tired of it after a few weeks).  So I wouldn't assume anyone looking to travel for an extended period "will get tired of travel after a few weeks." 
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DecD

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #42 on: April 13, 2015, 08:08:14 PM »


That's your opinion and experience but not everyone feels the same way. I traveled for months and by the end of it, I would have happily continued for many more months if I hadn't already had returned flights booked.


Wow, you're a woman? How old are you and where are you from?  You're definitely in the minority, especially if you're beyond your 20's.  I've met lots of aussie's who travel for a year, so it's not abnormal for them.  But for an American, especially one who has never been abroad? This is highly atypical...and highly likely that they will get tired of travel after a few weeks.

What in the world makes you say this??  I'm also an American woman who lived abroad for two years.  Also spent another summer abroad, and many additional trips across the pond for both work and fun (though only twice since having kids, and only once WITH a kid.)  The first time I ever went abroad, it was for a year.  I got tired of being purposeless, like I mentioned above, but I'm kinda funny that way, I like being productive.  I did NOT get tired of traveling.  I stuck to Western Europe, and I had a home base each time I was there for an extended stay, but I traveled on-the-cheap almost every weekend and saw almost every major city in W. Europe and did a ton of hiking/mountainclimbing besides. 

I would not say I was ready to come home either time.

There are ~157 million women in America.  Expressing surprise that one or two of them might like to travel extensively is, I hazard to say, not entirely logical.

Edited to add- thinking about it further...I'm lucky to have a big group of friends that has stuck together over the last 20 years.  We're pretty evenly split down the middle men and women.  Of the seven of us who have traveled abroad for a year or more, 5 are women (and no, we didn't travel together as a herd.)  Are you sure it's "highly atypical"?  Where do you get this notion?
« Last Edit: April 13, 2015, 08:51:07 PM by DecD »

Valhalla

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #43 on: April 13, 2015, 09:07:35 PM »


What in the world makes you say this??  I'm also an American woman who lived abroad for two years.  Also spent another summer abroad, and many additional trips across the pond for both work and fun (though only twice since having kids, and only once WITH a kid.)  The first time I ever went abroad, it was for a year.  I got tired of being purposeless, like I mentioned above, but I'm kinda funny that way, I like being productive.  I did NOT get tired of traveling.  I stuck to Western Europe, and I had a home base each time I was there for an extended stay, but I traveled on-the-cheap almost every weekend and saw almost every major city in W. Europe and did a ton of hiking/mountainclimbing besides. 

I would not say I was ready to come home either time.

There are ~157 million women in America.  Expressing surprise that one or two of them might like to travel extensively is, I hazard to say, not entirely logical.

Edited to add- thinking about it further...I'm lucky to have a big group of friends that has stuck together over the last 20 years.  We're pretty evenly split down the middle men and women.  Of the seven of us who have traveled abroad for a year or more, 5 are women (and no, we didn't travel together as a herd.)  Are you sure it's "highly atypical"?  Where do you get this notion?
Where do I get this notion?  Just about all of my friends... I too have traveled, lived abroad, traveled for months at a time.  I have never met a women quite like you, in Europe, Asia, Africa, or any where else.

How old are you?  It's pretty awesome you're into this lifestyle, but 99.99% of American women are NOT like you, for a variety of reasons, like finance, timidness, career, family, etc.

And it doesn't sound like you "traveled" for weeks on end. You relocated to another place, had a permanent home base there, and then traveled on weekends.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2015, 09:19:37 PM by Valhalla »

Valhalla

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #44 on: April 13, 2015, 09:12:12 PM »


Clearly people who travel for extended periods are in the minority, but I think it's because they generally don't try it, not because they try it and get tired of it (as evidenced by the other people you mentioned--like Aussies--who do try it, and do travel for a year+, not getting tired of it after a few weeks).  So I wouldn't assume anyone looking to travel for an extended period "will get tired of travel after a few weeks."
A friend and I tried it, numerous times.

I did as part of work assignment, and it got pretty tough personally.  2 months in 6 countries, all paid for.  Still got very old fast.

My friend traveled eastern europe, asia, and was planning to do south america.  He's a pretty independent guy and do quite well alone. After 6 weeks at most, he got tired of living out of hostels and the occasional hotel.  Not every one is made of money and can stay in hotels, so he was staying at hostels to save money.  He confirmed what I had experienced. Traveling the world is awesome, but after you get enough living out of a backpack / luggage, its nice to go home and live normally for a while, until the travel bug hits again.

My friend is really hard core and is never happy at home, but he knows now he can't handle being gone away for too long.

I don't think I know anyone personally in my diverse history who travel for more than 3-4 months at a time. 
« Last Edit: April 13, 2015, 09:18:40 PM by Valhalla »

arebelspy

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #45 on: April 13, 2015, 10:51:17 PM »
I don't think I know anyone personally in my diverse history who travel for more than 3-4 months at a time. 

And it doesn't sound like you "traveled" for weeks on end. You relocated to another place, had a permanent home base there, and then traveled on weekends.

What counts as "travel"?  If you move to a foreign land, rent an apartment, take side trips, then move to a new place a month later, repeat, is that travel, or not?  Do you have to be staying in a different place each night for it to count as travel?  When you move the goal posts each post it's hard to refute what you're saying though.

A few blogs off the top of my head where they traveled nonstop for months or years: drivenachodrive, sprinterlife, bumfuzzle, gocurrycracker, lifenomadic, lifeafterliquidity, etc. etc. There are many many more if you bother to look.

I also find it a little insulting that you presume to know what other people want more than they do, and claim all women will get over travel after a few weeks.  This is not always the case, in my experience.

Yes, the vast majority don't.  But the vast majority never travel at all.  It would be ridiculous for someone who doesn't know many travelers to claim though "You're a woman.  In my experience, women don't travel.  So don't bother."

Many people don't travel.  Some who do miss home.  Some who do love to travel, and keep doing it.  Clearly, as you mentioned, Australians often will travel for a year.  Americans don't as much.  Do you think that's because they like travel less, or because it's just not as much a part of the culture or an expected thing? 

Many people don't early retire, but I wouldn't claim "In my experience, people don't retire early, and those who do get bored and go back after a few weeks, so you'll probably get bored if you ER" -- that would be quite presumptuous and flat out wrong.

Clearly you have some experiences traveling, but not much experience with people who do lots of travel.  Some of us do have experience with people who travel for long periods of time.  Neither experience is right or wrong, but to claim you know how someone else will feel based on your experience is silly.

:)
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Valhalla

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #46 on: April 13, 2015, 11:49:12 PM »

What counts as "travel"?  If you move to a foreign land, rent an apartment, take side trips, then move to a new place a month later, repeat, is that travel, or not?  Do you have to be staying in a different place each night for it to count as travel?  When you move the goal posts each post it's hard to refute what you're saying though.
I would separate re-location from travel, per se.  I have relocated, and I have traveled.  Re-location would be like signing a lease or monthly rent.  Traveling would be paying per night (or at most, maybe 1 week), imho.

Quote
A few blogs off the top of my head where they traveled nonstop for months or years: drivenachodrive, sprinterlife, bumfuzzle, gocurrycracker, lifenomadic, lifeafterliquidity, etc. etc. There are many many more if you bother to look.
not familiar with those, will have to read up.

Quote
I also find it a little insulting that you presume to know what other people want more than they do, and claim all women will get over travel after a few weeks.  This is not always the case, in my experience.
not sure why you are interpreting my words that way. I never said 100% of women don't travel. I said the majority of women don't travel (and a large majority of men also), due to career, family, money, etc.  It's not insulting at all, it's a fact of American life.

Quote
Yes, the vast majority don't.  But the vast majority never travel at all.  It would be ridiculous for someone who doesn't know many travelers to claim though "You're a woman.  In my experience, women don't travel.  So don't bother."
again that's not what I said.

Quote
Many people don't travel.  Some who do miss home.  Some who do love to travel, and keep doing it.  Clearly, as you mentioned, Australians often will travel for a year.  Americans don't as much.  Do you think that's because they like travel less, or because it's just not as much a part of the culture or an expected thing? 
I think it's part of Aussie culture to take a year off and travel.  Not sure why Americans don't have that...but we clearly lack this.  Americans is the only industrial nation in the world to not get any mandatory vacation either... we work the most and vacation the least.

Quote
Many people don't early retire, but I wouldn't claim "In my experience, people don't retire early, and those who do get bored and go back after a few weeks, so you'll probably get bored if you ER" -- that would be quite presumptuous and flat out wrong.

Clearly you have some experiences traveling, but not much experience with people who do lots of travel.  Some of us do have experience with people who travel for long periods of time.  Neither experience is right or wrong, but to claim you know how someone else will feel based on your experience is silly.

:)
I never claim how someone else will feel, but gave some personal insight into this based on travel my friends and I have done. I never implied that a specific person will feel exactly the way I feel. But my opinion was repeated by a few other posters here as well.

I think we both agree on the key points. 
« Last Edit: April 13, 2015, 11:51:28 PM by Valhalla »

arebelspy

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #47 on: April 14, 2015, 01:17:44 AM »
What counts as "travel"?  If you move to a foreign land, rent an apartment, take side trips, then move to a new place a month later, repeat, is that travel, or not?  Do you have to be staying in a different place each night for it to count as travel?  When you move the goal posts each post it's hard to refute what you're saying though.

I would separate re-location from travel, per se.  I have relocated, and I have traveled.  Re-location would be like signing a lease or monthly rent.  Traveling would be paying per night (or at most, maybe 1 week), imho.

Yeah, on a narrow definition like that, okay.  I think most wouldn't agree with that. 

If my wife and I get rid of all our stuff except two backpacks, move to germany for a month, move to hungary for 2 weeks, move to thailand for 2 months, move to beijing for 3 weeks, etc. etc. (renting airbnb places all along the way for a minimum of a week, up to 2 months), I think most people would say we were traveling.

You can call it relocating, I guess.  There's a word for it though (slow travel). I've never heard anyone call slow traveling the world called "relocating the world."

But yes, most people would get tired of constant movement after a bit. Slow travel is much more enjoyable, IMO.  Still, there are some that enjoy the constant go-go.  DriveNachoDrive, for example, was constantly moving (living in an RV, exploring south america and then asia/europe).  But that might not fit under your definition because they had an RV?  I'd still call that travel.  You might have a different word for it.  :)
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limeandpepper

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #48 on: April 14, 2015, 03:50:11 AM »
Wow, you're a woman? How old are you and where are you from?  You're definitely in the minority, especially if you're beyond your 20's.  I've met lots of aussie's who travel for a year, so it's not abnormal for them.  But for an American, especially one who has never been abroad? This is highly atypical...and highly likely that they will get tired of travel after a few weeks.

Yes and admittedly, I currently reside in Australia (and have for several years), so maybe I am influenced by the Australian way. ;) But I was born in Asia and grew up there. My partner and I are both in our 30s and we did the trip together. And yes, he's Australian. But we have also seen people from other countries do long-term travel.

I did as part of work assignment, and it got pretty tough personally.  2 months in 6 countries, all paid for.  Still got very old fast.

My friend traveled eastern europe, asia, and was planning to do south america.  He's a pretty independent guy and do quite well alone. After 6 weeks at most, he got tired of living out of hostels and the occasional hotel.  Not every one is made of money and can stay in hotels, so he was staying at hostels to save money.  He confirmed what I had experienced. Traveling the world is awesome, but after you get enough living out of a backpack / luggage, its nice to go home and live normally for a while, until the travel bug hits again.

My friend is really hard core and is never happy at home, but he knows now he can't handle being gone away for too long.

I don't think I know anyone personally in my diverse history who travel for more than 3-4 months at a time.

You probably didn't enjoy your experience as much because it was work travel. As for your friend, it may be that long-term travel isn't suitable for him due to any combination of factors... but there are certainly people who thrive on it, so I wouldn't be hasty to advise just anyone that they shouldn't do it because they are guaranteed to get tired of it, because everyone is different.

DecD

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Re: Get knocked up or travel
« Reply #49 on: April 14, 2015, 05:53:50 AM »


What in the world makes you say this??  I'm also an American woman who lived abroad for two years.  Also spent another summer abroad, and many additional trips across the pond for both work and fun (though only twice since having kids, and only once WITH a kid.)  The first time I ever went abroad, it was for a year.  I got tired of being purposeless, like I mentioned above, but I'm kinda funny that way, I like being productive.  I did NOT get tired of traveling.  I stuck to Western Europe, and I had a home base each time I was there for an extended stay, but I traveled on-the-cheap almost every weekend and saw almost every major city in W. Europe and did a ton of hiking/mountainclimbing besides. 

I would not say I was ready to come home either time.

There are ~157 million women in America.  Expressing surprise that one or two of them might like to travel extensively is, I hazard to say, not entirely logical.

Edited to add- thinking about it further...I'm lucky to have a big group of friends that has stuck together over the last 20 years.  We're pretty evenly split down the middle men and women.  Of the seven of us who have traveled abroad for a year or more, 5 are women (and no, we didn't travel together as a herd.)  Are you sure it's "highly atypical"?  Where do you get this notion?
Where do I get this notion?  Just about all of my friends... I too have traveled, lived abroad, traveled for months at a time.  I have never met a women quite like you, in Europe, Asia, Africa, or any where else.

How old are you?  It's pretty awesome you're into this lifestyle, but 99.99% of American women are NOT like you, for a variety of reasons, like finance, timidness, career, family, etc.

And it doesn't sound like you "traveled" for weeks on end. You relocated to another place, had a permanent home base there, and then traveled on weekends.

I'm 37, but I'm not sure how that's relevant to the conversation.

I traveled in the summers before/after my longer-term "relocations".  Six weeks at a time, in hostels.  And tents.  And crummy hotels.  This was pre-internet (to speak of) so my Lonely Planet guide was my friend. 

I'm kind of astonished that I'm finding myself justifying whether my two years, one extra 3 month summer, and subsequent 10 (at least- I can lose count) shorter trips abroad count as "travel" or not.  My year in England, I hiked up a different mountain every weekend and spent the 3-week Easter break in Germany and Italy....The year in France I was in a different city every weekend- but because I had a home base, that's not travel?  The summer in Normandy, there was 3 weeks of travel at the front end and then every weekend in a new city...but I was based out of an old monastery in Caen, so not travel?

Actually what I like about the longer-term stays is that you don't just dip your toes in a place, see the surface, and move on.   It gives you a chance to really get to know the place, warts and all.  Make friends.  Discover those hidden places you won't find by skimming the surface for a week.  You have a chance to learn what it feels like to LIVE somewhere. 

I went to Africa last spring for 10 days, and a few days each in a pair of cities was simply not enough to even see what was there, much less properly see it and get to know it.  I'll take long slow travel any day over a frantic rushed tour of 17 cities in 23 days.  Or whatever.

In any case, of the 7 of my friends from high school who ended up doing extended travel (or are we calling it relocation?) all seven of us stayed for a year in a home base and traveled from there.  I do have two friends from later (we started our first jobs together) who spent a year in Antarctica (relocation!) and then spent a year doing a round-the-world trip (travel I guess.)  A married couple, so in my experience, I've still got more women friends than men traveling.

Maybe the takeaway here is "anecdotal evidence of one person's personal experience does not demonstrate statistical trends."