I'm in this business if anyone has any specific questions regarding pre-planning, pricing, what is legally required etc.
Regarding embalming, it is legal to be buried without embalming, it's very common in Jewish burials because they don't like being embalmed for example. However obviously you can't have an open casket service without embalming. Typically Catholics will go full service because they want the body present for the rosary etc. However you can still do a visitation with a refrigerated body at the funeral home.
Most cemeteries will require a vault, call ahead and find out. There will often be a divide between funeral homes and cemeteries, even when they're owned by the same business. If in doubt, ask the FH. Budget for both.
If they or their spouse has a history of military service then they will often be entitled to burial at a national cemetery. Big savings there.
FTC regulations require that we present information but we don't necessarily have to explain the information. There will be a General Price List or GPL, failure to present a GPL is illegal. However we don't need to read it to you, just make it available to you. Make sure you ask things like "is X legally required?" when they put charges in, the entire point of the FTC regulations is because funeral homes were tacking on dozens of extra charges for services which are not legally required. Cremation caskets are a good example of this, funeral homes cannot force you to buy their cremation casket but they will tell you that a cremation casket is legally required when selling you a cremation which is technically true. You can provide your own, although the crematory can decline it if it is inadequate. If in doubt have them specify what the legal minimum requirements for the crematory are.
The costs you're describing sound about normal honestly for a full RC service. They vary by region, California charges about twice what we do in New Mexico for example, but you'd be looking at between 6 and 8 for a full service with an expensive casket here and that's before you look at the plot. Regarding pre-planning, it's certainly not an investment, whatever the people telling you say, but it does generally come with a price lock guarantee which means it will at least match inflation. Pre-paying is going to cost you money compared to having a vanguard investment fund earmarked for your funeral (assuming you don't die in 2008) but save you money compared to money under your mattress. As with all things act according to your risk tolerance. Pre-planning life hack, go to the funeral home you want to work with and pre-plan and then do not pre-fund. They'll be pissed because they work on commission but they keep all those things on file anyway, when the time comes they'll pull out the file and offer to deliver what you asked for and although you don't get the price lock you do get the growth on the money you didn't tie up at the time which will almost always be more. It doesn't have to be one or the other, you can pre-plan without pre-funding. They just won't tell you that because again, commission.