I've been reading about the two topics on the blog lately and have come to a conclusion: I am cheap and I will ruin my marriage if I don't lighten up.
Now, my wife loves me and all but we do squabble about money quite a bit. She's not totally on board with the Mustachian way of life but she is not a big spender so I think it works out okay. I know when I step away from myself, I can be a controlling jerk which pains me because she totally does not deserve any of it, I am just way too high strung and eventually, it won't be good for the two of us.
I need a punch in the face about the frugal/cheap line and maybe a few tips. I know I am very miserly with every penny but I justify it by the fact that even while I am begin as frugal as I can, our savings rate is pretty low. On good months, we can hit 40%; however, if you do not factor in $250/mth in 401K, $458/mth in Roth IRA, and $450+ in mortgage principal, we are typically either at a deficit or saving up to 10%. Take home is $3,000 after tax and health insurance but before retirement funds. It was closer to $4,600 when my wife was working full time but we have a newborn so she isn't working now and we don't know if she will be going back at all.
I am trying to get income up by selling things on Ebay so I get between $100 and $500 per month, at least until I run out of stuff. I stress myself out so much about trying to cut back I take it out on my wife :(
Action plan: This is where I need some tips but I do know a few pain points regarding where our money is going (no particular order)
1) Two cats and two dogs who eat "the good stuff" - haven't found a good solution here but it has been in our discussions
2) 28 miles each way to work - basically I'm scared to change jobs because I feel like I'd regret it as my job isn't that bad, plus I really like having 4 weeks of vacation.(Yes I sense the irony here regarding early retirement)
3) Mortgage - $1200 including taxes and insurance ends up being about 40% of my take home pay. Windfalls typically go straight to the principal so I have knocked off about 9 years off a 30yr
4) Heating bill - Heat just started going on and I end up paying between $200-$300 on my gas bill each month(Nov-Apr) to keep this little New England house warm - I bargain the thermostat as hard as I can but with a newborn, I am now outnumbered.
Finally to finish off, some positives so I don't look like a 100% complainypants
1) No debt besides mortgage
2) Enough saved in savings to replace my wife's car when it dies (03 Ford Focus acted like a lemon when she first bought it in 2005) so it's a minor miracle it still runs
3) Only 30 so I'm still young enough to right the ship
4) Doing $5500 per yr in Roth IRA and moved it to Vanguard
5) Putting in 6% of take home in 401K($250/mth) and getting a yearly 3% match
6) No cable TV - Netflix was my concession but $8 is a lot better than $30-$40 or whatever it costs on top of internet
7) Only she has a smart phone which was given to her by a friend and the plan cost the same as her old phone plan through T-Mobile. I still rock a 2007 flip.
8) I know I'm way better at saving with "limited income" than almost everyone I know who make even more than I do
This is more of a vent topic than solicitation but I would like some feedback on the frugal/cheap stuff(and my attitude) because if I fix that, my wife will be a lot happier.