I stress myself out so much about trying to cut back I take it out on my wife :(
We buy Costco pet food. I did a bit of research before switching and found that it's actually really good food, a lot better than the more expensive stuff we were giving our dog.
We buy Costco pet food. I did a bit of research before switching and found that it's actually really good food, a lot better than the more expensive stuff we were giving our dog.Could you share? We feed the cat grain-free dry food and I got excited when I saw Costco had grain-free food. But my research led to it being produced by Diamond, which has a high incidence of contamination and poisoning pets. It wasn't a risk I was willing to take.
I can be a controlling jerk which pains me because she totally does not deserve any of it, I am just way too high strung and eventually, it won't be good for the two of us.Remember, from her point of view
we feed our dogs Taste of the Wild . Buy it in bulk for 30 bucks for 40 lbs when it goes on sale. i did a calc on cost of cheap vs expensive. and the cheap food actually costs you more and all it does is produce more poo. you cant look at dollars per pound of food. you have to look at the recommended amount of food ... that cheap food is sometimes 3-4x the amount of food for the same size dog as TotW.We also buy Taste of the Wild. Where do you get it for $30? I thought I was doing well when I bought a few bags for $35 from chewy.com.
Contacting people you know at the other company would be a good start? Is vacation time something you could possible negotiate in your contract when you get hired? (I don't know anything about that, I'm unionized so we don't negotiate anything one-on-one but I get the benefits of union negotiation and just got bumped up to 5 weeks vacation with my current 7 yrs at my job)
I'm always afraid that if I end up disliking it more than the current job, it's hard to go back and I would also lose my vacation time (10 yrs at my current company = 4 weeks vacation) I do know a couple of people who switched so I should at least send an email to get more of an idea how it is. Besides there, I don't know of other companies close by besides retail stores but I'm not a fan of retail(worked it before corporate) plus if I were a store manager, I'd likely get paid the same or less while not knowing when and where I would be transferred. I did actually get a 6-7% raise today which, not being year end, is pretty unheard of at my company. That should be about $200 extra per month after factoring in tax and adding my little boy to insurance this month.
we feed our dogs Taste of the Wild . Buy it in bulk for 30 bucks for 40 lbs when it goes on sale. i did a calc on cost of cheap vs expensive. and the cheap food actually costs you more and all it does is produce more poo. you cant look at dollars per pound of food. you have to look at the recommended amount of food ... that cheap food is sometimes 3-4x the amount of food for the same size dog as TotW.We also buy Taste of the Wild. Where do you get it for $30? I thought I was doing well when I bought a few bags for $35 from chewy.com.
Even last night, I was biting my tongue on things and it was a struggle to even leave the light on in the other room for a few minutes. I just get neurotic at times.
I know you want to save more--but you are doing well, really. Don't expect perfection or beat yourself up for not being at some crazy high rate. People do manage it, but you're not there yet--and that's okay. Enjoy the security you have, step back enough to realize that worry is the wrong reaction to your situation, and enjoy the new baby! :)
we feed our dogs Taste of the Wild . Buy it in bulk for 30 bucks for 40 lbs when it goes on sale. i did a calc on cost of cheap vs expensive. and the cheap food actually costs you more and all it does is produce more poo. you cant look at dollars per pound of food. you have to look at the recommended amount of food ... that cheap food is sometimes 3-4x the amount of food for the same size dog as TotW.We also buy Taste of the Wild. Where do you get it for $30? I thought I was doing well when I bought a few bags for $35 from chewy.com.
Just found it at petflow for 33.50 if you have a BofA credit or debit card and activate the extra 10% off bonus. use code BIG20 to get 20% off.
This may sound strange, but since my wife has no sense of a household budget, and has no desire to be live frugally, I just decided that I am going to live frugally. She wants weekly date nights to restaurants? I load up on leftovers, then we go out and when we order, I tell the server, I already ate, but I'll have a glass of water. I follow the "if it's yellow, let it mellow..." technique - she'll flush before she goes, but at least when I go two time in a row, I'm saving some water. Fancy dinner at home, I fake a stomach ache. Etc etc.
MAKING BABY FORMULA????? With RAW MILK??? I don't usually stick my nose into other people's parenting business but that sounds INCREDIBLY dangerous to me. Commercial baby formulas have a lot of expert science behind them, whatever their other issues. And raw milk is extremely controversial, especially for babies. If you wanna save money on formula, try buying the Costco brand (which Little Brother just thrived on after his accidental early weaning) and just avoiding overfeeding. (An older baby drinking 40 ounces a day might be able to eat more food and cut back on formula, for instance, but YMMV.)
True, I need to get it through my head that retirement savings are savings. It just feels like the money is stuck for 30 more years but I suppose that isn't true, especially the Roth portion.Please tell me you are joking or she is going to add something to her BREASTMILK not COWS milk. Cows milk is not safe for young infants. Please don't do this. If you need proof, I'll bring a ton, just please don't. Children have died that way.
I hope she will look to save money in creative ways because she will not respond to "assignments" :-P We had discussed cloth diapering, not using the dryer as much, etc but so far the things I have learned on MMM haven't inspired her yet. She is actually going to start making baby formula using raw milk and a bunch of other ingredients. It wasn't a financial choice, she's more sold on the health benefits but if it is cheaper, all the better.
Basically it's a journey that I have to learn patience for. Maybe at some point I will create a case study as I have a decent handle on what comes in and what goes out each month but for now, I'll try not to stress too much through Xmas and just enjoy being a dad who can save 30-40%.
VirginiaBob - I wouldn't be able to pull that stuff off but if it works for you, more power.
She is actually going to start making baby formula using raw milk and a bunch of other ingredients. It wasn't a financial choice, she's more sold on the health benefits but if it is cheaper, all the better.
The only raw milk a baby should drink is Mommy's. Our milk composition is very different from a cow's. Cow milk proteins are very hard on human babies' digestive tracts.
2. The post-partum period lasts for aaaaages. I am currently expecting baby #4 and I know of what I speak. There is this weird idea out there that women can pop out a baby, head home that afternoon, breastfeed like a ninja and be in the swing of the 'new normal' in the space of a week or two (at most). It is a complete and utter lie. Sure, there are outliers that that may be true for, but it is by no means a normal experience. Your wife is (likely) currently experiencing a clusterfuck of hormones, expectations, exhaustion, crying (both her and the baby), wondering what the hell just happened?, who is she anymore?, I wanted this baby so badly but I'm not having fun yet, this sucks and am I the worst mother in the world for even thinking that? Oh G_d the baby is hungry again and I don't know what I'm doing!!
This stage can, and often does, last for several months. Some of us call it the '4th trimester', to help us remember that this is not normal yet. The newborn phase is still all part of the pregnancy/birth thing and nothing approaching the new normal will happen until about 3 to 4 months in.
I think I'm starting to see the light a little bit. It is an anxiety issue which creates a losing battle trying to control every little expense. I did start therapy last year and maybe it was the therapist but I just did not like the experience. I don't think I gave it a proper chance either.
I'll chill on the small things. My wife is way too awesome to be getting grilled about money at any time, much less with a newborn keeping her stressed out. Ultimately, I have to think positive which I find difficult but if I don't change, I will end up ruining something pretty great.
Slow and steady is where we're at. I just have to learn to keep doing the right things, and not be impatient.
I will reach out about the ventilation issue. That is something I do not need my wife to worry about and it will save us a hefty chunk each winter.
Justajane - I've lost the thermostat battle a little each year but it seems to have settled between 73-75 depending how she feels. A few years ago we were between 60-65 while we had oil. When we switched to gas last year, it ended up being 68-70. She feels that it needs to be warm since he was in a 98.6 degree body for 9 months. I notice he is so warm even in the 73 degree room, when I hold him, that part of my body sweats and I'm not a big sweater. What is recommended? It might help a little but she does get cold very easily. As long as I get the insulation done, I'll be spending less anyway.
Homehandymum - Thanks for the tip about the workbook. I may give that a shot.
Hi krambigmac,
I think you got a lot of good feedback on the attitude, that you are doing great, to relax, a bit etc. I did see a couple specific things you mentioned that I might offer a couple suggestions on, in case it helps.
1) Dog food: going to Costco or BJs might be a big help there. This was already beaten up over a lot in the thread. I don't know enough about cat UTI food to tell you what to do there :). For us the savings on the dog food essentially "pays" for the Costco membership
2) You mentioned heating costs and needing to keep the heat higher for the newborn. I don't think anybody will suggest freezing the newborn. Is possible to supplement the room your child is in with a space heater, and keep the rest of the house at a normal temperature for the adults? You'd have to run the numbers to see if that is cheaper, but if you have insulation problems, it might be worth it not to be heating and losing heat over a whole house, when you only need zonal heating.
3) Since you seem worried about the different between savings before and after your mortgage, is this because you are worried about cash flow? What are your mortgage details now, would re-financing help?
4) It sounds like you are doing great selling stuff on eBay. What are you selling and have you found it a good experience? I've been trying to clean out our extra stuff, but between the time to list it, pack it, ship it and deal with fees and all that, I haven't found it that lucrative. I'd love your input :)
Good luck, and great job on everything.
This post has been running through my head all night, so what follows is a jumble of all the things I want to say :)
....
1. This doesn't seem to be a finance issue to me. This is an anxiety issue.
Good luck. This too shall pass :)
This post has been running through my head all night, so what follows is a jumble of all the things I want to say :)
....
1. This doesn't seem to be a finance issue to me. This is an anxiety issue.
Good luck. This too shall pass :)
homehandymum, I've been worrying about this OP too! Your post was so on point to me. OP, while the advice you're getting here about your specific spending/savings questions is definitely helpful, and I'm sure figuring out how to feed your pets for less is great, please listen to the advice HHM gave you above, too. Sometimes I think all of us Mustachians fall into the trap of reflexively (rather than critically) thinking all spending is bad and makes you a consumer sucker. Adopting that mindset heedless of your individual circumstances is groupthink - just in the other direction from the groupthink that makes people believe they need the newest iPhone or a gas-guzzling SUV. Awareness of the needs of your situation, rather than hewing to some ideal of what your life should look like, is what I think MMM is trying to get people to strive for. Please, cut yourself and your new family some slack!