Hi everyone,
I read this site frequently, but am not really active in the forums. I've reached a point where I feel I'm overwhelmed and slipping quickly back into old habits.
Last year I bought an apartment, I'm super thrilled with my decision. I ran the numbers (almost) a million ways and it made more sense for me to buy than continuing to rent.
I set up a spreadsheet of my amortization table showing how much I "save" by paying in $x at y month etc and came up with a fairly aggressive pay down schedule, which I briefly followed.
I was maxing out my 401k. My company matches up to 5% of my salary and we get an additional 5% "profit sharing" (though not over the last two years), so in a good year that was 10% extra, a bad year 5%.
What I didn't realize is that because my apartment is a co-op, it's hard to get any loans against it as you can't use it for collateral, so any money I put into it in terms of paying down the mortgage is really stuck there until I sell, which I don't plan on because, you know, I have to live somewhere (as my father says).
I'm not a US citizen and have no real intention of becoming one. I'm on a Green Card which I'll continue to renew. I have no intention of retiring here and am concerned about what that would mean in terms of the money I am putting into my 401k.
Recently I stopped pre-paying the mortgage and cut the 401k contributions down to 5% for the company match. I was doing so well, cutting out spending, building net worth, being sensible with my money etc, but now I find myself paralyzed in terms of what to do with my money going forward and am backsliding terribly - for the past two months I've saved NOTHING of my take home, down from 50%.
I only recently became serious about money, saving, paying down debt, cutting expenses etc, so my "nest egg" compared to my earnings is very small and I also feel overwhelmed by how much time and money I wasted.
It's clearly some kind of psychological block, as I know what I should do, but I seem to have commitment issues when tying up my money, so instead I just waste it on crap. I think the not becoming a citizen is a similar issue. Re-reading this, it's very whiney and self-pitying, I know. I know that getting access to my home equity shouldn't be a consideration, as I likely won't need to, but I worry "what if?".
I earn $125k at my day job (plus bonus which ranges from 12-20% depending but I never budget for it), I have $136k in my 401k, $47k in savings/investments, my only debt is my mortgage $260k. I don't really count the "equity" in the house as it's not actual money, but I have about $115k in "equity" in my apartment. I list these things, as other posts I've read the responders ask about it. Also, to shame myself at how little I'm doing to help my situation.
If you've made it this far, thanks and what the fuck is wrong with me?