Apologies for the long first post, but was looking for some advice since I've power read all of MMM's articles over the past week.
It's been a tough year for me - switched jobs and my father passed away right before I started. I was put in charge of managing a large group of people and it didn't work out. Luckily, my degree of FI allowed me to go back after a bit and say the role wasn't the right fit for me. I'm now transitioning to another role without a base pay cut. I found MMM and other FI sites b/c I found myself incredibly anxious (actually went on light meds) about potentially getting fired and being out of work for an extended period of time and settling for something for little $ (this is not reasonable as I've never been out of work for a single day over the last 18 years and am on my 5th new company) - think it was the loss of my Dad and stress of a new job that I didn't feel good about.
The beauty of the MMM community is that you all have framed up the philosophy that I believed in, but just couldn't get my arms around. Reading MMM's articles and positivity was a breath of fresh air, nourishment for my soul and an elixir for much (not all) of my anxiety. My wife and I are both 40 yrs old and have 2 kids - 11/8. She has had a great career but negotiated a severance that will pay out in April 2017. So that is our first step to FIRE - she will be stepping off the rat wheel.
I am carrying on due to a lucrative position ($150k + $70k bonus) and the fact that all my $ is in retirement accounts and I am not optimistic about the future of market returns. Here's a quick look at our balance sheet:
Cash - $10k
Betterment - $100k (taxable - 90/10 portfolio)
529's - $150k
401k - 900k (both my wife and I)
Roth IRA - 85k
HSA - 37k
Home - $600k
2 cars - 2016 Pilot and 2013 Accord
No debt other than credit cards we pay off in full each month for the rewards.
We live in the most affluent county in the country, so we pay through the nose to make time - house cleaners ($320/month), lawn care ($120 8 months of the year), daycare ($350/month now that my daughter is older, was paying $30k/year), and eating out. I went through our average monthly expenses and we're paying ~$1,500/month in eating outside the home. That's killing me! My wife isn't cognizant of money and figures she's making big $'s, so she can spend for convenience.
I am not a world traveler. When I imagine FIRE, it looks like this:
wake up, have coffee with my wife
maybe go for a run
play a round of golf
come home and get fresh food to make lunch/dinner with my wife
sit on the back porch and eat and drink some wine
Wash, rinse, repeat
I'm not looking to move despite HOA fees of $180/month (includes internet and basic cable) and property taxes around $7k/year b/c I want my kids to stay in the same school district for their entire academic careers.
My current plan is to work 10 more years until my son graduates high school and then downsize the house and move somewhere that is less kids-centric where my wife and I can have access to activities (hopefully not costly ones!). Maybe live on a golf course? Figure I could do some part-time consulting or whatever for another 5 years thereafter until the kids are out of college and then totally stop any required work.
I can't say I'm happy (anxious every morning I get up early to get to work early (1/2 hour commute) and then feel guilty leaving earlier to get home and see my kids. Hoping the new role will alleviate that anxiety once I'm fully in it.
I should mention that between my bonus and her severance, we'll net ~$100k in April; which I plan on putting $28k in 529, $11k in roth conversion, $20k to pay uncle sam in more taxes, and the rest in betterment as a safety net fund (40/60).
What do you guys think? Any suggestions on how to focus on making more $ accessible at 50 or 55...or earlier? Read some on the Invest in Yourself whole life strategy, but it seems like I'd do better on my own. Passive income is elusive. I'm in real estate, so you'd think buying properties would make sense - but it's tough to find attractive cap rates from my cursory searches.
Thanks - really looking forward to your responses as I feel ok but certainly not ready to RE yet.