Responding to the post about dating being hard work for men, not for women:
I'm a woman and I just quit dating (online and otherwise) because it required hard work, such as:
1. Respond to messages that say little. I'm not talking just about the ones that say, "Hey, 'sup?" Those ones I ignored. I was working hard to find a way to respond to a person that seemed decent but opened with something so lacking in substance I couldn't find much to say. Granted, I'm an introvert, a little Aspie, and not great at small talk. If they prefer opening with the latter, they're probably lucky to be weeding me out so easily! I was also immediately exhausted by indications that people wanted to start with an online back-and-forth, e.g., "So, you like to write...Me too." Oh. Ask me out. (And yes, where I'm interested, I do ask a guy out. Even if he opens with something tentative.)
2. Find people I have hope around. To do that, delete those from Not Here, delete the ones with "sup?", read all remaining profiles, delete the ones whose profiles are near-empty, delete the ones only looking for sex. That leaves almost no one, so start hunting through the local profiles and emailing people.
3. Arrange child care. Oy vey. Oh, now the guy needs to reschedule... Cancel child care, start again. Again, maybe they are feeling very happy/lucky to be weeding out the full-time parent?
4. Dress. That is, step outside of my norm of dressing however I feel like dressing in a moment. Maybe that's not even necessary. Cultural norms have been convincing me it is, but maybe on my next round I'll test that.
5. Have new pictures taken, because mine do not have enough skin exposed and makeup shimmering to attract attention amongst all the fancy chicks.
6. And here was one of the biggies, here was a thing I couldn't do any more of: Hold up more than half of the conversation. One really nice fellow emailed me after, "That was great... I feel we barely scratched the surface." And I felt like, "Oh man, I did! I scratched the surface, dug through the sediment, excavated... all to get the conversation going and holding." For him, it felt like a light, lovely, delightful conversation. For me, it felt like a ton of work to get us there. Now, I don't put this on him. He is an intelligent, sweet guy. Sometimes I ponder taking him up on his offer of a second date. What I realized is that I work hard on dates. I recently left a relationship in which I worked hard in every interaction, especially to create conversation. So, I am very weary and wary in that area right now. I think I shouldn't date until I have let go of my natural impulse to make the date so easy and lovely for the person across from me. I mean, I certainly want to help the other feel comfortable. But I was going too far. A codependent approach to first dates. And when a relationship starts there, where I am working this hard to support conversation, I'm terrified that four years later, I will still be doing that...while the guy is (referencing last relationship) wordlessly cheating on me.
7. Fending off unwanted physical contact. I'm a slow mover. I need to know someone and develop strong attraction before I want to be with them physically, and even when I get there I still want, god forbid, STI tests. The last guy I dated was ready for, um, way more from the first date. For seven dates I worked hard to keep him at bay.
In the end, I just thought, "Nah..." Maybe in some months I'll have some energy again.
re: "What do you do?"
I'm in the camp that would run fast from a guy who insisted (i.e., said twice) that he's [a stuntman, other untrue silly thing], but man, "In the event of?" would make me pee laughing and totally seal the deal for me! "Investor" would also suffice.
About everything else...
Yes, men and women into All Things Mustache are a minority, and even among those of us who are, there is actually quite a bit of variation and dissension, so it's not like Mustaches makes us inherently compatible. And my cheating beloved was super Mustache, so I've learned to prioritize things other than Mustachianism. A guy my age (40s) would need to be debt-free and have enough monthly income to cover his needs and a bit of luxury, but beyond that, I look for articulate, conversational, honest, faithful (in whatever context we define that together), hygienic, safety-conscious, law-abiding (yet creative), etc.